I don't know if I've already shared with you the link below. When I think of you, I feel feelings of sadness.
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2023/10/de-ultimate-question.html?m=1
Hi XA,
Thank you for
writing and finding the courage to drop your charming mask to show me your
unresolved repressed hatred NOW directed at me, trying to make me your
scapegoat.
I’m used to
people trying to make me their scapegoat since I was a small child.
I’m very aware
when people are not able to consciously feel their feelings in the context of
their own childhoods that will be a matter of time for them to try to make me
their scapegoat.
It took you and XB over 20 years! As a child, I didn’t
understand these psychological mechanisms, but as an autonomous free adult I do
and I don’t take in and feel responsible for other people’s unresolved hatred,
no matter what they say to me and how hard they try to transfer it into me.
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2021/09/real-answers-and-keys-thats-key-for.html
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2014/10/transference-is-unavoidable-stage.html
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2021/10/about-transference.html
“But when you
talk about me to other people you use words like "you're all fucked
up"”
Your words
above show me that you have joined your repressed unresolved hatred with XB’s
unresolved repressed hatred and NOW you both are together directing all your
hatred towards me and the words above are really what this person used to say
too.
How do you
think I know that while your son was still a small child you rather go to P’s
night clubs chasing men to have sex with to run away from yourself than be
still to feel your pain and be present with your small child?
This is a pain NOW for your adult child to feel if he wants to be free and stop the chains of compulsion repetition that his mother is not capable of authentic love and all the love he got from his mother was the illusion of love. ...
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2013/07/most-peoples-love-is-nothing-but-farce.html
The truth is
only fucked up people will chase after men and leaves their small baby with a
stranger and leans on a man she has no feelings for, has a child with him, and after
leaving him uses the welfare system to survive because of her unresolved
childhood repression can’t hold on to a job for very long. Most people in our world are fucked up and that's why humanity is doomed.
“Also, send
messages that I wrote to other people, making me lose trust in you. When I
think about you I also feel feelings of sadness.”
Show me proof
and evidence that I shared your messages.
Maybe I’m a
little guilty of sometimes sharing too much when talking but I only do it as
examples in hopes of inspiring people to stop their own compulsions and be
still to consciously feel their own pain and stop running from themselves and making
others their scapegoats. I don’t do it with malicious intent. And for that I'm sorry! But you can be assured without a doubt that if XB shows you anything I might have shared with her, she is
being malicious trying to manipulate you to act the part she wants you to act
in her twisted dramas.
Why do you think
she got mad at me?! Because I didn’t let her use me to join her hatred to satisfy her thirst for revenge and make XC her scapegoat. It’s easy to beat and step on someone when they are already down!
When XC had
money everyone was around her trying to mooch of her and she helped pay for
the car of XD that you crashed! It might have been some of my money too,
because back then I was sending money to XC all the time and now I'm sure if you are leaning on XB is because she has money but it doesn't matter how much money she collects it will not save her, just like money didn't save her mother and her father. Money alone is a big illusion and saves no one. Actually, having too much money can create a lot of new problems.
If you trust me or not it doesn’t affect me. I trust myself and I don’t need other people to trust me! What matters is that we trust ourselves to handle what life throws at us and not become dependent on anyone or anything to cope with life. Just like my older sisters, you are trusting the wrong person, but it's your problem, not mine, my older sisters never trusted me either! Because they never trusted themselves and they put all their trust in XC and look how that worked out for all of them?!
“And by the
way, I don't know if I've already shared it with you, but the cats you killed
when you didn't have money to feed them and the absurd words you said come to
mind countless times: they died happy because they knew me and my love.”
Wow, your
words above show me that is really you who can’t be trusted and you are twisting
my words. I said that I rather die and euthanize my cats than ask XF and XB for
money. And yes, I do think it’s better
to humanely euthanize an animal than to live in crowded homes and in cages
suffering in horrible conditions. That’s no quality of life for the animals
and the humans. It’s better to live one day with authentic love than 100 years
with fake love or suffering scared on the streets and in horrible conditions.
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2023/12/dangerous-no-kill-shelter-policies.html
I trust my
love. Tell me how many people and animals you have truly loved in your life?
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2019/07/only-love-and-truth-will-open_25.html
“And also take
care of your childhood repression because when you feel all the repression the
feeling you will have for XF and XE would be compassion..."
Yes, I have taken responsibility for my own childhood repression and I feel sad for everyone else, family or not, who is still stuck in the emotional prison of their own childhoods, but I’m only responsible for myself and is not healthy for me to take in and let myself be used as poison container, it didn’t help them when they made me their scapegoat or poison continuer when I was a small child --- and it will not help them now either --- because hatred cannot ever be resolved by scapegoating. We only can save ourselves!
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2017/05/scapegoating.html
“And not from
that petty enjoyment that you feel for what has happened and continues to
happen.”
The words
above are just yours and XB's projections, because nothing makes XB happier than seeing others suffer, she only wants good things for herself and no one else.
I hope the
little crumbs you might get from her to buy you to use you to exploit your
unresolved repressed hatred to join her hatred towards me and other scapegoats
to temporally and superficially feel better are worth it to you.
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2014/03/dont-let-others-exploit-your-repressed.html
"When you talk to me you think you are in a superior situation"
This is how
most like you and XB see yourselves, you feel superior or inferior depending
on who you are with, and is just a projection.
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2021/11/lost-in-projections-and-transferences.html
I’m glad that
reading the theory above brought you comfort and gave you the information to
diagnose me. Yes, your words reminded me of the pain I went through, but is
just a reminder because I have already been through it, if I hadn’t the
sociopaths at my job of nine and half years would have succeeded in destroying me after I published my book with their mind
games and very well-orchestrated psychological warfare, but instead was one
them to self-destruct. And by coming
after me, they exposed themselves and they showed their true colors, just like
you are doing right now.
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2023/03/hard-evidence-of-my-ex-boss-being.html
All of my life
people have tried to use me as a scapegoat or poison container like you are
trying to do NOW and the sociopaths at my job did also, you and XB joined
forces to do the same, so you and XB are not much different. Now, if I can
ever picture a person who if they were at my job of nine and a half years, they too, would have played a role in the campaign to destroy me I don’t
want to be associated with these types of cowardly people in any way, shape or
form. Thank you for giving me evidence
that you and XB are these types of of people.
Yes, many doctors are writing great theories and making great analyses.
Many
professionals out there, do great analyses and understand well the reasons for
mental illness, depression, addictions, and chronic illness, that are linked to
childhood loss and trauma, and I quote a few other professionals in my book to
prove that are out there, other professionals saying what Alice Miller says,
but how they go about to heal those traumas, they use the same old tools like
yoga, meditation, 12 steps, and controlled drugs, that all it does is
manipulate people's feelings, and repress their authentic feelings all over
again, and as long people go on repressing their authentic feelings, they will
be driven by them into the state of repetition compulsion of reenacting their
disastrous childhood dramas sooner or later in one form or another with anyone
they get involved with. It’s the repression of our authentic feelings that
causes us long-term harm and not the trauma itself.
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2015/07/many-professionals-do-great-analyses.html
As long as people's childhood repression goes unresolved -- they will be shackled into the
chains of compulsion repetition -- and it doesn't matter how well anyone
articulates very nice ideas...
The problem is
not a lack of knowledge and educated people, there are plenty of educated people
with intellectual knowledge, the problem is an emotional blockage with the
so-called “professionals” or “educated people” hiding behind their
rationalizations and seductive theories to protect themselves from having to
face and feel their own emotional pain.
It takes courage to see, face, and feel our painful truths, intelligence
alone is not enough; but it rather helps create seductive, rationalizations,
theories, illusions, and lies.
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2016/05/education-alone-is-just-another-illusion.html
The words
below Alice Miller wrote to me before she passed come truer every day: “I have
learned over the years of my work on the internet that there are readers who
SEEM to understand SOME of what I have written, at least intellectually, but
they are still so afraid of their very cruel parents and of their repressed
FEELINGS of rage towards them that they are constantly looking for scapegoats.
They thus live in a continual confusion pretending that they are healed and
even offering help and empathy to others. But eventually they use unconsciously
other people (even the ones who are quite friendly to them) as a poisonous
container like their parents did to them, and if the offended people begin to
defend themselves they can become very mean. I can only urge you to trust your
feelings and to NOT offer your empathy and interest to everybody just because
they say they read and understood everything I have written. In most of the
cases, it is a lie. To understand my books means to overcome the fear of one’s
parents, to honestly feel the justified rage TOWARD THEM and to no longer use
others to getting free from the accumulated rage.”
“Think about a really good guy to have sex
with, Imelda, that life is made up of many things and not just your morbid
interest in watching the circus burn down, in your family in Portugal, while
you're far away because that's easy.”
I will do my best not to think about you anymore. Yes, it makes it easy to detach from the war at home with a continent and an ocean between us. Sometimes when people ask me why I left Portugal I tell them jokingly that I’m a refugee from Portugal and they look perplexed because Portugal is not involved in any wars, but I'm indeed a refugee from the war at home.
Dr. Julio Machado Vaz prescribed also sex in
my youth and it was not helpful at all. You have been using sex as an escape – how does
that work for you?!
I am very proud of the little girl I once was, in spite of her wounds and having a severe learning disability like dyslexia she was courageous enough to face the world all by herself and fight for her freedom and autonomy and is not dependent on others or drugs prescribed or not. I didn't believe what was said about me and I believed in myself, otherwise, I would never have developed the courage to leave home.
I’m free and I’m staying free!
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2018/05/open-letter-to-prestigious-dr-julio.html
XB showed you
all the messages she wrote to me about you. She never said anything nice about
you and you never said anything nice about XB either. But show me screenshots. So it's XB and you who can't be trusted. I'm
just guilty of freely sharing with other people information that was useful to
me and now my work is done and what others do with this information it’s their responsibility.
It's time to say goodbye. This is the last message I write to you.
When somebody
hands you the scissors to cut them off, it's like the trash taking itself out.
I thank XB for
removing herself and XA from my life. It’s so freeing!
Since I
published my book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions many have been trying to pull me back into their emotional prisons. If
they can't be free, they don't want me to be free either! But once a mind is
truly free cannot ever be captured again! What I have NOW cannot be bought with
money and cannot be stolen! And this is why I’m hated so much!
With my book
and all my writings, I give people a map, and the keys, to liberate themselves,
if they ever find the courage to leave the emotional prison of their childhood,
as the quote below says this journey is theirs to take.
"You
can't heal the people you love. You can't make choices for them. You can't
rescue them.
You can
promise that they won't journey alone. You can loan them your map. But this trip
is theirs." Laura Jean Truman
I changed my fate or destiny but only I could have done that! We are only responsible for ourselves.
XA wrote the last words below to me but because I said I would not write anymore to her I didn’t reply to her. But you can tell she is back paddling a little bit and probably realized she made a big mistake and let herself be used by XB and now is trying to be the bigger girl by denying that she doesn't hate me but no denials can change the facts because only a person with hatred could write to me what she wrote. If she was not emotionally blind she would not let herself become a puppet or a flying monkey of XB and be used in this way. As long our childhood repression goes unresolved no matter how much intellectual knowledge we have in psychology we remain emotionally blind and vulnerable to manipulation by a malignant person.
I leave people alone but if they come after me and attack me -- I have the light -- so all I have to do is shine the light on them.
I don’t know what XB has shown her but whatever it was, she did it maliciously, to poison her against me and to manipulate her to join her hatred and attack me through her. Just because I said no to her, how dear of me to say no to Dr. XB so now she is on a smear campaign against me and trying to recruit as many people as possible to join her hatred to hate me too.
“Thanks for the answer Imelda: didn’t join anyone, you're wrong, I'm not even receiving money from anyone, but I saw my messages that you sent to her. I'm glad it doesn't affect you that I lost trust in you. As for my life, I know very well the mistakes I made, I know why and I also know that everything that may happen to XE is my responsibility. As for my personal life, XX helps me share expenses and becomes easier for both of us. As for the hate you say I feel projecting onto you, it's a lie, because I don't feel hate towards you. In reality, I think that when you talk to me, since you don't talk to XB now, it would only be to try to find out some things, that I might eventually know about your sisters. Continue living your freedom. … By saying that XB never said anything nice about me, you are being a mirror of your niece when she showed me what you wrote to her about me. After all, it really is time to say goodbye.”
There is a saying here in the United States that people living in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones at others. XB thinks she is perfect, smarter, superior, and on top of her game, but these are only illusions that can burst at any time
When I was young her mother hated me because she couldn't control me and now her daughter too hates me because she can't control me either or have me under her thumb.
I should have been more careful with her because the red flags were all there, and I was very conscious that this would happen the moment I said no to her or challenged her.
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2024/02/we-can-change-our-destiny-or-fate.html?m=0
"Saying "no" can trigger a narcissist's rage. Narcissists are hypersensitive to anything that might undermine their grandiose self-image. They thrive on constant admiration and attention, so rejection can trigger feelings of inadequacy and provoke a rageful response."
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2024/01/comments-that-easily-trigger.html?m=1
Evil is born anew with every new generation. Can you imagine if I had not left Portugal and had not liberated myself? As a small child, I was everyone’s scapegoat and now if I was still there I would have been the scapegoat of the new generation that is more dangerous because they have intellectual knowledge that they use to go around making a bunch of noise without resolving their own childhood repression first – this new generation would eat me alive if they could!
For the last twenty years, that’s what I have been witnessing a niece and a niece-in-law do, she has been going around yelling at everyone, especially doctors but takes the medications they give her and now I have become her target also.
This is what many call, the woke mob, all they do is go around with intellectual knowledge only that they have not experienced themselves finding fault with everyone pointing fingers and making a bunch of noise – they are very dangerous people.
I’m going to be 65 years old soon and now I just want to be left alone to live the rest of my life in peace and quiet.
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2024/02/the-woke-mob.html?m=1
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/search?q=birthday+
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2023/02/happy-valentines-day.html?m=0
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