Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Gathering the Courage to Feel

Dear G,

It was not safe to feel these feelings for the little girl you once were, but it is safe NOW for the adult you are now to feel these repressed feelings of the child. It’s okay to lose it and let your body do what  it needs to do to release and express these emotions, let it cry, scream, shake, shiver, it will not last forever, ride the wave of your feelings to shore and your will arrive at the other side free.  Your fear of being alone with these intense fears and painful feelings and wanting to find a person that will hold your hand and give you a hug while you are feeling the intensity of these feelings is very understandable, this is a need of the child you once were that needed a loving mother to help the child you once were articulate her feelings, now the adult in you has to became the loving mother, understanding  and help the very hurt child within you to articulate and consciously experience these feelings, if you keep waiting to find the right therapist to accompany you, you might wait forever, because from my experience and yours is near to impossible and you will die in the emotional prison of your childhood waiting for this person, but really you are not really alone, you have Alice Miller’s books and you have me that understand what you are going through.  The presence of Alice Miller’s books was my support to help me gather the courage to get through the intense repressed fears and painful feelings of the child I once was. You might feel you are going to die and want to commit suicide to end the pain, but feelings alone don’t kill. The child you once were lived in constant terror of being killed, but it’s safe now for you to witness and feel the terror the child you once were had to live with. Yes write everything you are feeling and send it to me if you like. I am here to listen.  Remember you cannot really love your daughter until you love and liberate the little girl within you.

Wishing you much courage and strength,


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