Violence is an Illusion or a Trap

Violence is an Illusion or a trap and you will never find or maintain freedom through violence but it doesn't mean we give up working towards liberating ourselves and staying free. 

Most people's objective in life is not freedom for themselves and others. Most people's objective in life is to one day own their own slaves. They work very hard to get into positions of power over others so they can suppress others the same way they once were suppressed. Most people are unconscious and compulsively looking for scapegoats to take revenge for the wrongs done to them...

"Sadism is not an infectious disease that strikes a person all of a sudden. It has a long prehistory in childhood and always originates in the desperate fantasies of a child who is searching for a way out of a hopeless situation."
 http://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2011/01/unlived-anger.html

Pretty much no matter where we live there is half of the people who try to suppress the other half to a degree, either with manipulation tactics or violence. 

People can be right about a lot of things but the moment they resort to violence to make a point or bring attention to their cause by killing innocent beings -- they lose the argument completely -- even if they were right at first in a lot of things. 

People and countries have the right to defend themselves when attacked, but they need to be careful not to let themselves be blinded by hatred and pain, they need to take all the precautions to protect the innocent on both sides. 

No one can liberate us but ourselves, so when people scream; Free Palestine or Free Britney Spears, they are just making a bunch of noise because no one can free Britney Spears from her emotional prison but herself. 

All of my life I have been surrounded by people trying to suppress me and it took me over 40 years to liberate myself. 

Since my personal liberation, I have been the target of three psychological warfare in the workplace but if I had resorted to violence to get justice I would not be here today! They want to bring me back into an emotional prison but a mind that is truly free can never be captured again, they can kill me, but my mind dies free!

The words below by John Lennon could not be truer. The sociopaths at my job of nine and half years were hoping I would react to their lies, mind games, and smear campaign and I would become violent in some form. The system is thirsty for blood, but I don't play their game.

"When it gets down to having to use violence, then you are playing the system's game. The establishment will irritate you - pull your beard, flick your face - to make you fight. Because once they've got you violent, then they know how to handle you. The only thing they don't know how to handle is non-violence and humor." John Lennon

"Children who are told the truth and are not brought up to tolerate lies and cruelty can develop as freely as a plant whose roots have not been attacked by pests (in our case, lies)" Alice Miller 

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2020/02/telling-children-truth.html

Lies are the fuel that creates wars. And religion is one of the biggest lies ever! 

“If you were born in Israel, you’d probably be Jewish. If you were born in Saudi Arabia, you’d probably be a Muslim.  If you were born in India, you’d be Hindu. But because you were born in North America, you’re probably a Christian.  Your faith is not inspired by some divine, constant truth, it’s simply geography.”

"Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the politicians helpful."

Religion is an emotional prison that keeps people chained with invisible reins of guilt, shame, and fear. In different parts of the world the prison of religion has different names and gods and in some parts of the world some religions/prisons, might treat you a little better and give you the illusion you have freedom because it gives you longer reins and more room to roam, but still in prison nevertheless. I have removed the invisible reins of guilt, shame, and fear and broke free completely from the prison of religion.

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2013/02/religion-is-emotional-prison.html

The Roots of Violence are NOT Unknown

The misled brain and the banned emotions

The Facts:

1. The development of the human brain is use-dependent. The brain develops its structure in the first four years of life, depending on the experiences the environment offers the child. The brain of a child who has mostly loving experiences will develop differently from the brain of a child who has been treated cruelly.

2. Almost all children on our planet are beaten in the first years of their lives. They learn from the start violence, and this lesson is wired into their developing brains. No child is ever born violent. Violence is NOT genetic, it exists because beaten children use, in their adult lives, the lesson that their brains have learned.

3. As beaten children are not allowed to defend themselves, they must suppress their anger and rage against their parents who have humiliated them, killed their inborn empathy, and insulted their dignity. They will take out this rage later, as adults, on scapegoats, mostly on their own children. Deprived of empathy, some of them will direct their anger against themselves (in eating disorders, drug addiction, depression etc.), or against other adults (in wars, terrorism, delinquency etc.)
 
Questions and Answers:

Q: Parents beat their children without a second thought, to make them obedient. Nobody, except a very small minority, protests against this dangerous habit. Why is the logical sequence (from being a misled victim to becoming a misleading perpetrator) totally ignored world-wide? Why have even the Popes, responsible for the moral behaviour of many millions of believers, until now never informed them that beating children is a crime?

A: Because almost ALL of us were beaten, and we had to learn very early that these cruel acts were normal, harmless, and even good for us. Nobody ever told us that they were crimes against humanity. The wrong, immoral, and absurd lesson was wired into our developing brains, and this explains the emotional blindness governing our world.

Q: Can we free ourselves from the emotional blindness we developed in childhood?

A: We can - at least to some degree - liberate ourselves from this blindness by daring to feel our repressed emotions, including our fear and forbidden rage against our parents who had often scared us to death for periods of many years, which should have been the most beautiful years of our lives. We can't retrieve those years. But thanks to facing our truth we can transform ourselves from the children who still live in us full of fear and denial into responsible, well-informed adults who regained their empathy, so early stolen from them. By becoming feeling persons we can no longer deny that beating children is a criminal act that should be forbidden on the whole planet.

Conclusion:

Caring for the emotional needs of our children means more than giving them a happy childhood. It means to enable the brains of the future adults to function in a healthy, rational way, free from perversion and madness. Being forced to learn in childhood that hitting children is a blessing for them is a most absurd, confusing lesson, one with the most dangerous consequences: This lesson as such, together with being cut off from the true emotions, creates the roots of violence.  Alice Miller

Asshole Factory

I agree with Bill Maher that going to college can be a total waste of time and money. 

"I wonder how the high colleges managed to produce so many high asses." Paracelsus

As long people's childhood repression goes unresolved -- they will be shackled into the chains of compulsion  repetition -- and it doesn't matter how well anyone articulates very nice ideas... The problem is not lack of knowledge and educated people, there are plenty of educated people with intellectual knowledge, the problem is an emotional blockage with the so-called “professionals” or “educated people” hiding behind their rationalizations and seductive theories to protect themselves from having to face and feel their own emotional pain.  It takes courage to see, face and feel our painful truths, intelligence alone is not enough; but it rather helps create seductive, rationalizations, theories, illusions, and lies. 

Alice Miller explains beautifully  in her book For Your Own Good: hidden cruelty in child-rearing and the roots of violence page 42 and 43: "Just as in the symbiosis of the "diaper stage," there is no separation here of subject and object. If the child learns to view corporal punishment as "a necessary measure" against "wrongdoers," then as an adult he will attempt to protect himself from punishment by being obedient and will not hesitate to cooperate with the penal system. In a totalitarian state, which is a mirror of his upbringing, this citizen can also carry out any form of torture or persecution without having a guilty conscience. His "will" is completely identical with that of the government.

Now that we have seen how easy it is for intellectuals in a dictatorship to be corrupted, it would be a vestige of aristocratic snobbery to think that only "the uneducated masses" are susceptible to propaganda. Both Hitler and Stalin had a surprisingly large number of enthusiastic followers among intellectuals. Our capacity to resist has nothing to do with our intelligence but with the degree of access to our true self. Indeed, intelligence is capable of innumerable rationalizations when it comes to the matter of adaptation. 

Educators have always known this and have exploited it for their own purposes, as the following proverb suggests: "The clever person gives in, the stupid one balks." For example, we read in a work on child raising by Grünwald (1899): "I have never yet found willfulness in an intellectually advanced or exceptionally gifted child" (quoted in Rutschky). Such a child can, in later life, exhibit extraordinary acuity in criticizing the ideologies of his opponents--and in puberty even the views by his own parents-- because in these cases his intellectual powers can function without impairment. Only within a group--such as one consisting of adherents of an ideology or a theoretical school--that represents the early family situation will this person on occasion still display a naïve submissiveness and uncritical attitude that completely believe his brilliance in other situations. Here, tragically, his early dependence upon tyrannical parents is preserved, a dependence that--in keeping with the program of "poisonous pedagogy"--goes undetected. This explains why Martin Heidegger, for example, who had no trouble in breaking with traditional philosophy and leaving behind the teachers of his adolescence, was not able to see the contradictions in Hitler's ideology that should have been obvious to someone of his intelligence. He responded to this ideology with an infantile fascination and devotion that brooked no criticism.”

Peter Hitchens Storms Out of Interview

Obviously, Peter Hitchens is stuck in childhood, pretending to be grown up, and can't have a real adult conversation or debate. Unfortunately, the world is full of people acting as if personalities pretending to be all grown up but are stuck in childhood, without realizing it, unconsciously and compulsively reenacting their childhood dramas.

Alex O'conner should read my book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions and invite me to his podcast. It will be entertaining and enlightening. He should take the risk with me! I would not storm out of the interview! He would not regret it. 

Making drugs illegal causes more problems than solutions.

Mental illness is not caused by drugs but by the repressed emotions. People take drugs to self-medicate.

De Ultimate Question

Dear J,

Thanks for the link, but the question NOW is how we get human beings to face and consciously feel their repressed emotions – to move through their repressed emotions -- and free themselves from the emotional prison of their own childhood. 

As long as people’s emotions remain repressed they will be driven by them into compulsion repetition no matter how much we teach about the importance of respecting babies and children.

When people resolve childhood repression and are free from the emotional prison of their own childhood -- are incapable of exploiting anyone and the environment -- they will not hurt themselves or others and they will respect all beings, small and big. 

The conversation about the effects of childhood repression in our society needs to start happening in the stage of the world, sooner rather than later, if we want to save ourselves and humanity from falling off the cliff and committing mass suicide.  

Everyone is trying to change the world at the surface, especially so many people using the political machine and religion to manipulate the masses, making things worse in the long run, and no one wants to look at the root causes of how we got here?! Into this messed-up world! It’s very frustrating because trying to change the world at the surface, no matter what people do, the changes will always just be superficial and temporary. All I witness people doing is making a bunch of noise. 

That's why I wrote my book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions to show people how I liberated myself and be a support to others that still are in the same place I once was. 

These words by Alice Miller that I quote in my book could not be truer:

“It is not true that evil, destructiveness,
and perversion inevitably form part of
human existence, no matter how often this
is maintained. But it is true that we are
daily producing more evil and, with it, an
ocean of suffering for millions that is
absolutely avoidable. When one day the
ignorance arising from childhood
repression is eliminated and humanity
has awakened, an end can be put to the
production of evil.”
— Alice Miller, Banished Knowledge, p. 143

Be kind to yourself and take good care,
Sylvie

Dark Truth

Emotion for a narcissist equates to fuel. They want to hear you getting irritated. They want to get you annoyed. They want your voice to rise and see the tears of frustration welling your eyes. When they see this, it makes them feel so powerful.

Narcissists are not what they pretend to be. They are what they hide.

Not everyone staring at you is admiring you. Some are amazed you survived the traps they set for you.

Don't be afraid of losing people. Be afraid of losing yourself by trying to please everyone around you.

The journey to healing begins with creating a safe place

You can't heal in the same environment that traumatized you or made you sick. This is because these environments are unsafe and triggering, and your wounds won't heal if they're not given the space to breathe and regenerate.

You will likely continue to be hurt unless you break the cycle and remove yourself from the situation or environment where you were hurt. It's not an easy road to healing or emotional freedom, even when you remove yourself from the situation.

One of the most difficult experiences in life is that unless you break the cycle and remove yourself from a situation or environment where you have been hurt, you will most likely continue to be hurt.

Turning the page is extremely difficult because it implies understanding and accepting that letting go of someone means that while they may have been a part of your history, they do not have to be a part of your destiny. Murakami once said, "Pain is unavoidable, but suffering is optional." And the longer you stay in a situation where you are the one who is getting hurt, the more difficult it is to heal and the more you suffer.

So, as Sartre, the existentialist philosopher, put it, life isn't just what others do to you; it's what you do with what others do to you. And the sooner you realize this, the sooner you can start healing. It's difficult to heal where you got sick.

The journey to healing begins with creating a safe place.

Also, healing or emotional freedom is not possible without knowing your history and where you have been.

For true healing to happen, we must have conscious access to our own personal truth.

“We cannot really love if we are forbidden to know our truth, the truth about our parents and caregivers as well as about ourselves. We can only try to behave as if we were loving, but this hypocritical behavior is the opposite of love. It is confusing and deceptive, and it produces much helpless rage in the deceived person. This rage must be repressed in the presence of the pretended “love,” especially if one is dependent, as a child is, on the person who is masquerading in this illusion of love.” Alice Miller (The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self) Page 23

“It is precisely because a child’s feelings are so strong that they cannot be repressed without serious consequences. The stronger a prisoner is, the thicker the prison walls have to be, and unfortunately, these walls also impede or completely prevent later emotional growth. “Alice Miller (The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self) Page 58

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2016/02/quotes-from-book-drama-of-gifted-child.html