Suicide

Hearing about the recent suicide of the model/designer L'Wren Scott and seeing everyone blaming her suicide on her triggers and not on the real causes, it made me sad that people are so emotionally blind. It’s extremely sad when people die before exploring their history and understanding themselves, so ignorant repressed emotionally blind people could not exploit them anymore. She was exploited in life and now she is exploited in death by repressed people to push their sick hidden agendas in order to keep their own repression intact, and others have similar tragic fates. The fact she chose a violet method of suicide is unconsciously communicating to the world how angry she was, the anger she didn't understand and the world doesn't want to understand because that would require to face and feel their own repression. Her adopted sister says her sister was depressed because she never had children, but having children would not have prevented anything, but would have transmitted her traumas into her children to continue endlessly. Like she did, that had 8 children to exploit and use as a poisonous container to alleviate her own repression.

The words below written by Alice Miller came to mind: 

“Suicide is always the consequence of denied suffering in childhood, as is depression. I have written an article about depression, which you can read on my website. There I refer to many examples of very successful stars, such as Dalida for instance, the famous Egyptian singer, who in their lives got everything they wanted and were admired and famous. But in the middle of their lives, they became depressive and many committed suicide. In all these cases it was not the present that made them suffer, it was the denied traumas of their childhood that made them feel miserable because they were never consciously acknowledged. The body was left alone with its knowledge.”

http://www.alice-miller.com/interviews_en.php?page=4

“Many world-famous stars who are envied and idolized are in fact profoundly lonely people. As the example of Dalida indicates, they were misunderstood precisely because they could not understand themselves. And they were not able to understand themselves because their environment responded to them with admiration rather than understanding. Finally, they took their own lives. This vortex tells us a lot about the mechanisms of depression. People seek understanding by pinning their hopes to success, they take endless trouble to achieve such success and to arouse the admiration of an ever-larger audience. But this admiration cannot provide any real sustenance as long as understanding is absent. Despite the success they have made of their careers, life is meaningless because they remain strangers to themselves. And this self-alienation persists because they want to completely forget what happened to them in their early lives and to deny the sufferings of childhood. As this is the way society functions, these stars were bound to remain misunderstood and suffered the torments of chronic loneliness.

The categorical denial of the pain we suffered at the beginning of our lives is harmful in the extreme. Suppose someone setting out on a long walk sprains an ankle right at the outset. That person may decide to ignore the pain and to soldier on because he/she has been looking forward to the outing, but sooner or later others will notice that they are limping and will ask what has happened. When they hear the whole story they will understand why this person is limping and advise him/her to go for treatment. But in connection with the sufferings of childhood, which play a similar role in our lives to a sprained ankle at the beginning of a long hike, then things are different. Those sufferings cannot be "played down," they will leave their mark on the whole enterprise. The crucial difference, in this case, is that normally no one will take any notice. The whole of society is, as it were, in unison with the sufferer, who cannot say what has happened. It may well be that, despite the violation of their integrity, people who have been injured in this way really have no memories. If they have to spend their whole lives with people who play down the traumas of childhood, then they have no choice but to connive in this self-delusion. Their lives will progress in much the same way as the outing of the hiker who has sprained his ankle but pretends that nothing has happened. Should they, however, encounter people who know about the long-term effects of childhood traumas, then they will have the chance to abandon their denial and good prospects of healing the wounds they have been carrying around with them.

Most people are not so fortunate. The celebrities among them are surrounded by hosts of unsuspecting admirers, none of whom recognize the distress afflicting the stars they idolize. This is in fact the last thing they want to know about. Examples are legion. We may recall the fate of the enchanting Marilyn Monroe, who was put in a home by her mother, was raped at the age of nine and was sexually harassed by her stepfather when she returned to her family. Right to the end, she trusted in her charm, and finally, she was killed by depression and drugs.”

http://www.alice-miller.com/articles_en.php?lang=en&nid=55&grp=11

"As I have repeatedly stressed, it is not the trauma itself that is the source of illness but the unconscious, repressed, hopeless despair over not being allowed to give expression to what one has suffered and the fact that one is not allowed to show and is unable to experience feelings of rage, anger, humiliation, despair, helplessness, and sadness. This causes many people to commit suicide because life no longer seems worth living if they are totally unable to live out all these strong feelings that are part of their true self. Naturally, we cannot require parents to face something they are unable to face, but we can keep confronting them with the knowledge that it was not suffering per se that made their child ill but its repression, which was essential for the sake of the parents. I have found that this knowledge often provides parents with an "aha!" experience that opens up for them the possibility of mourning, thus helping to reduce their guilt feelings."

-- Alice Miller

Above excerpt from Sylvia Plath: An Example of Forbidden Suffering

From the book For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing

and the Roots of Violence by Alice Miller

Depression: Compulsive Self-Deception

"The categorical denial of the pain we suffered at the beginning of our lives is harmful in the extreme. Suppose someone setting out on a long walk sprains an ankle right at the outset. That person may decide to ignore the pain and to soldier on because he/she has been looking forward to the outing, but sooner or later others will notice that they are limping and will ask what has happened. When they hear the whole story they will understand why this person is limping and advise him/her to go for treatment. But in connection with the sufferings of childhood, which play a similar role in our lives to a sprained ankle at the beginning of a long hike, then things are different. Those sufferings cannot be "played down," they will leave their mark on the whole enterprise. The crucial difference in this case is that normally no one will take any notice. The whole of society is, as it were, in unison with the sufferer, who cannot say what has happened. It may well be that, despite the violation of their integrity, people who have been injured in this way really have no memories. If they have to spend their whole lives with people who play down the traumas of childhood, then they have no choice but to connive in this self-delusion. Their lives will progress in much the same way as the outing of the hiker who has sprained his ankle but pretends that nothing has happened. Should they, however, encounter people who know about the long-term effects of childhood traumas, then they will have the chance to abandon their denial and good prospects of healing the wounds they have been carrying around with them." -- Alice Miller

above excerpt from the article Depression: Compulsive Self-Deception
by Alice Miller

Deep-seated Trauma

Something I keep witnessing --- people with unresolved deep-seated trauma, that it has been transmitted from generations to generations, either overtly through abuse or covertly with the illusion of love aided by the hypocrisy of a political or religious cult, they are obsessed with politics or religion or both, so they don’t have to face, see and feel their deep-seated trauma.

Comments from the sharing of this post on Facebook:

Petra Helm I'm going to translate it into Spanish and share it! Thanks for being one of the few authentic people! <3


Fred Koepke Recent studies show that mental distress can be transmitted genetically.....sigh

Sylvie Imelda Shene Thanks Petra, for the translation! Maripaz, Armando, Eduardo y Lole te puede interesarte. "Algo que sigo observando --- personas con un trauma profundamente arraigado que ha sido trasmitido de generación en generación, o abiertamente a través de abusos o encubierto por la ilusión de amor y con ayuda de la hipocresia de un culto político o religioso. Se obsesionan con la política o la religión , o ambos, para que no tengan que encararse, ver y sentir su trauma profundamente arraigado." de mi amiga Sylvie Imelda Shene
YO TAMBIÉN LO SIGO OBSERVANDO A DIARO

Heart beating gives the illusion of life

To all pro-life people, if there is no function in the brain stem, heartbeat gives only the illusion of life! I always knew this! Just because a fetus has a heart beating doesn't mean there is life, until, there is a functioning brain that can live outside of the womb and breath on their own, there is no life yet.

"Unlike brain-damaged individuals who are living in what’s called a “persistent vegetative state,” people who are declared brain dead are simply deceased. There’s no function in their brain stem, and they can no longer breathe on their own. Although their heart may remain beating, giving the illusion of life, it is inaccurate to suggest that a ventilator is actually keeping them alive. In fact, most medical professionals believe it’s highly unethical to attempt this type of medical intervention with a deceased person’s body."

Read more here

Indiegogo Campaign Update

We did it! What’s next?

Great news everybody! Thanks to your generosity, I’ve reached my goal of raising the money I need to publish A Dance to Freedom. I’ve been working on this book for several years, and I can’t tell you how much your support means to me at this amazing moment. Because of you, more people will have access to the work of Alice Miller through my story. Just think, your contribution may help free someone from an emotional prison. Your support may help someone find the freedom to be themselves for the first time. And your belief in this project may even save a life — or several lives. I really can’t thank you enough for your confidence in this, my life’s work. I hope you know how important this is, not only to me but also to our society as a whole.

Now that we’ve reached our goal, I’d like to set another one. If we can raise another $7,500 in the remaining days of the campaign, I’ll upgrade everyone’s signed paperback copy of my book to a signed hardcover copy. Please help me spread the word!

No matter where the campaign ends up on March 11, you’ve already made it a success. I can’t wait to start providing you with project progress reports as we begin the design and publishing process and move toward a July release date. I love you all, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for making my dream of helping others a reality.

Sylvie Imelda Shene, March 2, 2014

  http://igg.me/at/DanceToFreedom/x/5985685       

  

Don’t let Others Exploit your Repressed Anger to do Harm

Hi J
Yes, I think MM's anger of the child he once was is very much justified, but as an adult, he is responsible how he expresses his repressed anger, in a way that is not destructive to himself and others.

You said that you were seeing a therapist and left her because you didn't agree with her on MM. You are being a perfect example, of why it's dangerous for people to go public, before liberating themselves, and how it creates much confusion to the general public. He is hurting you and you can't see it, because of you still emotionally blind, by the repressed emotions of the child you once were. You are abandoning your own inner child, that still is stuck in the emotional prison of your own childhood, to go to the emotional prison of MM, and trying to save and protect him, but you or anyone else, can help him, but himself, and what you are doing unconsciously, is joining him in hating the ghost of his mother, because she left her emotional prison long ago, and now MM is only fighting with the ghost of his own mother, it was heartbreaking for her to leave her adult child there, but once a child becomes an adult no one can help him, not even his own mother, and Alice Miller learned, that she could not save him, and to save herself, she would have to let him go. Now you are in MM's emotional prison, joining your anger at your own mother, to MM's anger at his mother, and you are making Alice Miller your scapegoat, blocking your own liberation, because anger cannot ever be resolved directed at scapegoats. If you want to liberate yourself, leave MM's emotional prison because he is now an adult and only he can liberate himself. And don't let him exploit your repressed anger, to join his own anger to help him fulfill the fantasies of revenge of the child he once was, to symbolically kill his own mother in the public arena, by trying to destroy her very courageous and pioneering work she did in her adult life, that cannot save the children of the past, like her own child, but can save others, like saved me, and the children of the future. People like you that are joining their own unresolved repressed anger at their own parents, to MM's anger at his mother are hurting themselves and others by creating much confusion.

I will not get in the game he she said with you, because that would be letting you bring me into MM's emotional prison with you, and I don't go into anybody's emotional prisons anymore, because once people are adults only them can save themselves, I will offer emotional support to anyone that has the courage to do their own emotional work to really leave their emotional prisons, and truly liberate themselves, but I will not let anyone bring me into their emotional prisons to use me, and exploit me, to fulfill the fantasies of revenge of the child they once were, to hurt themselves and others. But I know this: Alice Miller apologized to him publicly and in her books, for not being the mother, he needed when he was little. And how she wishes she had the information, she is now sharing in her books, when she was a young mother, so other young mothers can resolve their own repression, and not pass their own childhood suffering into their own children like she unconsciously did as a young mother.

If it was true, MM had healed his childhood traumas and liberated himself, he would be talking about his childhood pain, and how he liberated himself, in a way that would not create confusion, the fact that he is creating much confusion, it shows he has not healed or liberated himself, and still a confused child, in his emotional prison, and using his mother well know name, to gain sympathy from a lot of people, and bring them into his emotional prison with him, to manipulate them to join their own hate, at their own mothers, to his own anger to hate his mother with him, and is confusing a lot of still emotionally vulnerable people. This is very destructive. This is how psychopaths work, and that's how Hitler, got people to join their hate to his hate to kill a lot of innocent people.

I don't know if you or MM are true psychopaths, but this is the behavior of psychopaths, that exploit the repressed anger of other people, to join their own anger, to help them feed their thirst for revenge, and the masks and illusion to hide behind, like for example the psychiatric doctor did to me when I was 17 years old, that exploited my anger at my family, to feed his sexual perversions, under the disguise of the mask or illusion of "mental health provider". You said that you like him were left out of the parents' will. Dependency breeds anger, as long we are dependent on the family's money; we remain stuck with them, in their emotional prisons, and hate instead of being resolved, it increases. We have to work to find our autonomy and not depend on the family or others standing in symbolizing our parents. As long we are dependent on the family or others financially, we remain prisoners of our childhood. Read my blogs Dependency Breeds Anger and Liberating Ourselves from Dependency that Breeds Hatred. 

  

When people go public with their stories, before liberating themselves, it will be a big distraction from doing their own emotional work and creates confusion in the general public, that is already very confused. Our wounds need to be healed first in private with the assistance of a true enlightened witness. But when people go public with their sad tragic childhood stories, playing the victim card, to gain sympathy from others, are exploiting the wounded child within themselves, just like their own parents exploited them, when they were little, to fulfill their own needs and perversions, now the adult is exploiting the wounded child in them, to gain sympathy from others and exploit others repressed anger to join their own anger, to fulfill the adults perversions and fantasies for revenge. This is the mechanisms of psychopathy. 

I hope my letter answers your questions and helps you see the danger of going public before liberating ourselves. 

Wishing you courage and strength to leave MM's emotional prison, and focus on liberating your own inner child from your own childhood prison.
Sylvie

Also, read my blogs in the links below:
Letter to P About Martin Miller's book
Then Pain of a Mother
In Most Cases is a Lie