Using Abortion as Hook to Manipulate

F, 

Thank you for writing. You are right, an unintended pregnancy means not desired and every time someone is born that is not desired, planned and wanted for the rights reasons, it’s a very sad and tragic beginning indeed and because most people cannot face and feel the tragedy of their own history, they hang onto their illusion of love and this explains the hypocrisy that governs our world. 

This is why I fight so hard for the women’s right to choose to carry or not to carry a pregnancy to term and give birth to a new being. 

I am also doing all I can to remove the stigma from abortion, so if women find themselves pregnant with an unintended pregnancy --she will not feel pressure -- to carry a pregnancy to term and give birth to a new being she does not want and feels ready to love and in this way prevent from more unwanted children from being born to just suffer-- and as an adult -- because of these disowned and unresolved childhood injuries will become openly and aided by hypocrisy a danger to society, allowing this insanity and suffering to go on until the end time. 

You are right many women unconsciously have a baby just to trap the father and takes advantage of the stigma of abortion in our society to force fatherhood on her partner, but sadly these women don’t realize that they are really trapping themselves and the innocent new being they bringing into the world to use as a tool of manipulation, because in most cases men just walk away and the worse it can happen to them, is that they have to throw money at what they see as a problem, triggering the mother’s unresolved repressed rage of the child she once was, because the instrument she created “the child” to use as a tool of manipulation didn’t work and now feels trapped and blames the child for her plight and starts taking it out on the child that has nothing to do with it, and this is another reason why I want to do all I can to remove the stigma from abortion and put the stigma where it belongs, because if it should be a stigma somewhere, it should be on those that bring children into the world to unconsciously to use and exploit.

Abortion can also be used by women to unconsciously manipulate the man in their lives. I know a case of a young woman with a lot of unresolved childhood injuries that became pregnant and her partner did not feel ready to be a father and talked her into having an abortion, which she did, but then she used unconsciously the abortion, to make her partner feel guilt and have control over him by accusing him that he had turned her into a murderer and blaming all her problems on the abortion, of course society stigma on abortion gives unconscious very sick women reins to use abortion as the hook to control men, and then to alleviate their guilt feelings they decide to have a child, conceiving a child out of guilt instead out of love to use as a medication to alleviate their guilt feelings, by many hours talking with this lady it was revealed how she used the abortion as the hanger to hook on the partner’s unresolved guilt feelings from his own childhood traumas to have control over him. 

I am wondering if you were trapped into fatherhood. Anyway this young man was very angry at his, now ex-partner, for deceiving him, because besides using his unresolved guilt feelings to control and manipulate him, she also had several affairs during their 20 years of marriage and confessed to never have loved him, but that she married him to take revenge on him, she also came to see clear that she was taking revenge on this man for the wrongs done to her by her own father when she was defenseless little girl, of course, today they are divorced, because their marriage was not real and they decide to become real and not live a lie anymore, but he is very angry and feeling all his anger at his ex and of course she deserves some of his anger, because she deceived him too, but who deserves most of his anger is his mother, because his mother was the first women that deceived him and used him as a tool of manipulation to force his father to marry his Mather, if he had a mother that truly loved him and never used him as an instrument of manipulation to get what she wanted, he would not ever had fallen in love in the first place with a very damaged women that would exploit and deceive him like his mother did when he was a defenseless little boy, as a child he could not leave his disturbed mother and father, but as an adult can gather the courage to face and feel the tragedy of his own childhood and leave a woman standing in symbolizing his mother, but he still has difficulty in feeling his feelings within the context of his own childhood and stays stuck, because as long the repressed feelings are not seen and felt within the context of our own childhood, they blind us and they drive us into repetition compulsion to reenact our childhood drama sooner  or later in one form or another and sadly I am seeing him repeating or reenacting his childhood drama all over again with a new woman he is getting involved with.

I agree that we need to do all we can to help young girls become conscious of their childhood traumas before having children, so they do not pass their own traumas into their children, just like Alice Miller says: “This incapacity to love from the outset occurs much more often than we imagine. It is not the fault of the mothers but of the ignorance of society. In a progressive maternity ward, a woman having her baby should have access to enlightened assistance in perceiving and becoming fully aware of the body memories within her. This would prevent her from passing on the traumas of her own childhood (abandonment, violence, and so on) to her baby."

"If the repression stays unresolved, the parents’ childhood tragedy is unconsciously continued on in their children” Alice Miller (The Drama of the Gifted Child: The search for the True Self) Page 23

I don’t think it’s a good idea to make mandatory or force vasectomy into young men, because I don’t think nothing should be forced on anyone, but I do agree it’s a great idea and should be encouraged for young men to volunteer for the procedure to protect themselves from women that might try to get pregnant just to trap them into fatherhood and to prevent unintended pregnancies altogether!

Men are not included in the punishment for abortions for the same reason the bible asks for women to be stoned for adultery and men go Scot free. Because these laws and the bible were written by men!!! 
Yes,  it's about control and abortion is the perfect hook.

Yes,  it's about control and abortion is the perfect hook.

Also, read my answer to S in the blog titled  Removing the reins of guilt

Liberating the Child Within

The words written by Alice Miller in the answer below to one of her readers could not be truer! We can preach all we want about the dangers of child abuse, but until people liberate the child within of the strong repressed bitterness, the compulsion to repeat will continue in one form or another sooner or later. People that can't consciously feel the authentic repressed feelings of the child they once were, within the context of their own childhoods, are dangerous to themselves and others and can't be trusted, because sooner or later in one form or another will be driven by the repressed legitimate hate towards their parents or parents substitutes to use others as scapegoats or poisonous container to temporarily relieve repressed hatred. I rather be alone than being someone's scapegoat! 

"Yes, it would be wonderful if we could initiate a powerful movement towards more awareness. In fact, by understanding the emotional needs of children we would come to understand OURSELVES too, the basis of our existence, of our own Being as responsible adults. But this is impossible without liberating the strong bitterness of the abused child we hide deeply in our bodies because of the fears of our parents. Unfortunately, ALL religions FORBID this emotional liberation, they rather allow wars, some of them even consider wars as sacred because they have never understood that feeling the legitimate rage PROTECTS us from acting out in wars and criminality. The last are organized exactly by people who DON’T feel."
Read more here

The Past Always Catches up with Us

People that preach that focusing on the past is a waste of time and unhealthy and  we only need is to forgive and forget, they don’t realize that we can’t live in the present and look forward into the future without first looking into our past and face and feel the repressed feelings of the child we once were. As long the repressed feelings of our painful past remain repressed, we will be driven by them to unconsciously and compulsively reenact the painful dramas of the past. They are clueless that they have fallen into a trap that makes them feel better temporally and superficially and now unconsciously are alluring others into their traps, so they can feel superior and be in power over others to protect them from having to face and feel their painful past and they don't realize they are stuck in the past. This is how cult leaders are born. Until we face our past, the past will keep catching up with us in our relationship with others, especially with our children, if we have children.

White supremacists urge trolling Clinton supporters to suicide

Comments from the  Facebook post of the sharing of the article in the link above. 

Sylvie Imelda Shene This was the same strategy the sociopaths at my job of nine and half years were shooting for, they wanted me dead, in jail or mental hospital!  Read Open Letter to the Media

Elizabeth Laren wtf is WRONG with people?

Sylvie Imelda Shene They are very sick people.. this election revealed that most people in America is much more sexist than it is racist. People blinded by the repressed hatred of the child they once were towards their own mothers or mothers substitute were driving by the dead hand of their own repression to vote for a man that will lead them to commit mass suicide. Read  Driven by the dead hand of their own repression to create stupid laws

Elizabeth Laren Exactly. My go-to response when people were throwing around Clinton invective was "Please get therapy for your mommy issues." Freud was on the right track but got it wrong.

Sylvie Imelda Shene Yes, Freud was on the right track, but could not deal with society's backlash and created the theory of oedipal complex that blames the child instead of the parents in order to be accepted by the masses. The funny thing is that this group of people would like us to commit suicide and don't realize they themselves are committing mass suicide.

"For political leaders in the Hitler mold, the jubilation of the masses is as indispensable to still their effective craving as a drug is for an addict. The millions of cheering supporters do not realize that they are needed for the purpose and that purpose alone. Read  Gurus and Cults Leaders How They Function

David Feeney Very interesting stuff. Makes it a little easier to forgive bad actors even monsters like Hitler. Not that they shouldn't be removed from circulation.

The Secret by James Arthur Ray -- Fatal Retreat

The exchange of our last texts brought to mind the followers of The Secret by James Arthur Ray, that because they didn't listen to the messages of their bodies, but instead listened to the stupid guru of the stupid book The Secret, they lost their lives. I am sure his followers were very well behaved children and did what their parents asked of them and now they do what people symbolizing their parents ask them to do, even if their lives are in danger. And never question themselves why they feel something is missing in them? And they allow themselves to be exploited by charming gurus or cult leaders, just like they were exploited when they were defenseless little children.

Arizona Sweat Lodge: The Inside Story of James Ray's Fatal Retreat

My experience is the same as Alice Miller, it has taken me all my life! " … It has taken me all my life to allow myself to be what I am and to listen to what my inner self is telling me, more and more directly, without waiting for permission from others or currying approval from people symbolizing my parents… Successful therapy should shorten this long journey. It should liberate us from our ingrained adaptation strategies and help us learn to trust our own feelings - something our parents have made difficult, if not impossible. Because it was prohibited, and hence feared, right from the beginning, many people find it impossible to embark on such a journey. Later, the role played initially by our parents is taken over by teachers, priests, society, and morality, all of them conspiring to cement this fear. And cement, as we know, is very difficult to soften.” The Longest Journey