Dear H,
Thank you for writing.
“I would wish, that this woman does better than me. That she will look at her own truth. If she is like me, be glad, that she run away...”
Every day I thank the stars that she runs away, because if she lacks the courage to consciously face and feel her emotions within the context of her own childhood. I’m better off she runs -- otherwise sooner or later would make me her poison container or scapegoat. And she was starting to do it -- if I didn't make my boundaries clear to her --- of what I would tolerate and what I would not tolerate.
If it’s true she read my book again and the words she wrote are authentic --- maybe she is not a full blown sociopath --- and maybe down the road when she feels -- it’s safe for me to be around her without making me her poison container or scapegoat -- then we can spend time together again.
The fact you question it -- if you might be a sociopath -- it means you are not--- you don’t go out of your way to hurt people intentionally, right?!
So you are not a sociopath. It’s normal sometimes to feel hateful feelings towards some people that disappoint us in the present moment and triggers the repressed pain -- if not yet worked through – or for reminding us of the pain we suffered as a child, but if we don’t go out of our way and take actions to deliberately hurt people, then we are not sociopaths or malignant narcissists.
Remember thoughts and feelings don’t hurt people – actions hurt people.
Sociopaths or malignant narcissists go out of their way to hurt people and take pleasure in destroying lives and see people hurting.
Hurting and destroying others’ lives is their painkilling drug. It's an addiction that keeps their own childhood repression intact.
I agree! Alice Miller is the only person I know with the courage to go to the bottom of our repression to retrieve the real key that really opens the door to true liberation and everyone else out there is just selling an illusion.
If you think talking with me might help you see clearly if taken the new job offer would be a good move for you and a risk you can afford to take --- we can try to schedule a time to talk via Skype if you like.
“most of the therapists assume, that there is a kind of a core or a center, within us, which is our pilot, our healer etc. but this might be not true, not in that easy way: just to connect with that force and using it as a basis...”
No, I don’t think is true either, if a person’s spirit was completely murdered in childhood. These people don’t have an inner center or pilot to trigger their healing and as adults can become very dangerous people. But I don’t think it’s your case dough. I feel there is a lot of spirit left in you to trigger your own healing and with courage and the right support you can liberate yourself from your childhood emotional prison.
Hang in there and take good care.
Much love,
Sylvie
