Most People Unconsciously and Compulsively are Endlessly Reenacting Their Own Childhood Dramas

Most people unconsciously and compulsively are endlessly reenacting their own childhood dramas with people that have nothing to do with what happened to them when they were little children -- they tell their own true stories of what really went on in their own childhoods with their endless unconscious reenactments. My boss in 2015 and my last boss, both were raised with master manipulators and lies because they grew up to be masters manipulators and liars.  I could see their lies, traps and mind games so clearly

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2023/01/my-face-when-someone-tries-to.html

And this is why "prolifers" fight so hard for the unborn to be born so new beings are born to suffer as they did -- they suffer and make others suffer -- they are afraid of running out of scapegoats to take revenge for the wrongs done to them when they were powerless and defenseless little children.

 "prolifers" are a bunch of cowards! 

There are two types of people in this world those that want others to suffer as they do and those that do everything to make sure the pain stops with them. 

Misery doesn't like to be alone and loves company! Prolifers are destroyers of life under the disguise of being prolifers. 

“The Romanian dictator Nicolae Ceausescu knew nothing of the way he suffered as a child from having been pent up in one room with ten brothers and sisters in a state of extreme neglect. As an adult living in the monomaniacal opulence of luxurious palaces, he repressed all explicit memory of it. But implicit (body) memories of his childhood suffering remained, and they incited him to take vengeance on a whole nation. 

Like his own mother, the women in this dictatorship were not allowed to have abortions. Like his own parents, most couples in Romania were forced to have more children than they wanted or were able to take for. As a result, Romanian orphanages were full of bursting with youngsters displaying severe behavioral disorders and disabilities caused by extreme neglect. Who needed all those children? No one. Only the dictator himself, whose unconscious memories spurred him to commit atrocities and whose mental barriers prevented him from recognizing them as atrocities. “ Taken from the book “The Truth Will Set you free” by Alice Miller

As long people's  childhood repressed goes unresolved, they have no free will; the dead hand of their own repression will drive them endless into the state of compulsion repetition.

Vindictive Narcissists: 10 Signs & How to Handle One

Vindictive Narcissists: 10 Signs & How to Handle One

"1. They’re Easily Offended

Research suggests that narcissistic rage and vindictiveness are commonly exhibited when a narcissist takes offense to something that someone did or said.^2,4 Because narcissists often think only of themselves, they tend to take things personally and get offended in situations most people wouldn’t be bothered by. The more sensitive a narcissist is to criticism, the more likely it is they’ll become mean, vengeful, and vindictive.³

2. They Hold Grudges & Harbor Resentment

Vindictive narcissists are known to have a hard time letting go of anger and resentment, and may hold grudges against people for things that happened long ago. It’s almost as if they’re mentally ‘keeping score’ of every slight, critical remark, or joke made at their expense.^3,8,9 They may blow up in the moment and still harbor resentment. Other times, they appear aloof or unbothered while inwardly plotting their revenge.³

3. They Are Usually Angry or Upset With Someone

It’s not unusual for a vindictive narcissist to be angry or upset with someone. They may even share their frustrations with others and rehash the reasons why they are irate. If you’re dealing with a vindictive narcissist, there’s a good chance that they are always mad at someone, as vindictive behavior is mainly driven by anger.¹ Partners of vindictive narcissists often feel like they can’t do anything right, are constantly being criticized, and that their partner is continually upset with them.^2,5

4. They Blame Everything on Someone Else

A refusal to accept accountability is a telltale sign of narcissism, but may be more prevalent in narcissists with a vindictive streak.^2,3,7 Projecting blame onto someone else (even if they’re innocent) serves many purposes for a vindictive narcissist. One is that it allows them to dodge personal responsibility for anything they may have done wrong, further protecting their egos. Painting someone else as the ‘bad guy’ provides an excuse to target and retaliate against the person.⁴

5. They Don’t Know How to Work Through Conflict

Poor emotion regulation and impulse control are at the core of NPD, making it difficult for them to remain calm enough to ‘fight fair.’ Immature defenses, fits of rage, and vindictive acts are most obvious during conflicts and disagreements.^2,3,4 Because vindictive narcissists are easily upset and unable to express themselves peacefully, they tend to either explode, storm off, or shut down during conflict. This also means that most of their disputes are unresolved, which may partly explain why they hold grudges and plot ways to get revenge.⁴

6. They Have a ‘Get Even’ Mentality

Vindictive narcissists have a ‘get even’ mentality and keep score of when someone has upset or offended them, often with a long list of names attached. Being unable to regulate emotions, take responsibility, resolve conflicts, or find empathy and forgiveness for others means getting even is the only way to let go and move on.^3,4

7. They Weaponize Information

When people make the mistake of sharing their secrets, insecurities, and sensitive ‘intel’ with a vindictive narcissist, they usually end up regretting it. After collecting this information through charm, manipulation tactics, or other dishonest means, a vindictive narcissist commonly weaponizes this information. They may use it to blackmail, control, or threaten someone; or they may use it in a smear campaign designed to ruin someone’s career, life, or reputation.^2,3,5

8. They Belittle Others to Feel Bigger

Vindictiveness is sometimes believed to be an indication of severe narcissism, especially because it’s closely tied to antisocial and abusive behavior.^4,5,6 One may this may be exhibited in daily interactions is belittlement. A vindictive narcissist will often put people down, give back-handed compliments, make cruel remarks, or say and do things to make others feel small (especially when they’re feeling small themselves).^2,4

9. They Have a Mean & Sadistic Side

The more severe a person’s NPD is, the more likely it is that they’ll behave in ways that are cruel, dishonest, and even abusive. These antisocial tendencies can show up as a lack of empathy, callousness, or cruelty.⁶ The most psychopathic narcissists may even enjoy causing pain and suffering. These sadistic tendencies can be a sign that someone has both antisocial and narcissistic personality disorder (called malignant narcissism). This is also known as ‘Schadenfreude,’ a German term referring to the pleasure of hurting others.

10. They Use, Abuse & Then Discard People

Extreme narcissists are unable to form close, healthy, and lasting relationships with other people.^2,3,5 They usually view relationships in a transactional way, strategically trying to charm and con their way into the inner circles of people who have things they want. This could be fortune, fame, power, status, or valuable skills or personality traits that can be exploited. Once they’ve acquired their target or found a new and ‘better’ alternative, vindictive narcissists quickly end the relationship and move on to their next victim (aka narcissistic discard).

Causes of Vindictive Narcissism

Narcissistic personality disorder is believed to be caused by a combination of genetic, environmental, and social factors. Certain research suggests that some people with narcissistic and antisocial personalities have abnormalities in parts of the brain linked to empathy, emotional intelligence, and impulse control. Others may be at higher risk for NPD based on their personality type and temperament.⁸

While these predispositions and genetic factors may play a role in NPD, studies suggest that childhood trauma is one of the main contributing factors to the disorder. Extreme parenting styles and attachment trauma in childhood are highly common in narcissists. For example, both excessive praise and extreme physical or emotional neglect in childhood make someone much more likely to develop NPD as an adult.⁸

Triggers for Vindictiveness in Narcissists

Both overt and covert narcissists can be vindictive, but research suggests they may have slightly different triggers and motivations for seeking revenge. According to one study, ‘narcissistic rage’ (the projection of anger onto others) in covert or vulnerable narcissists is often triggered by abandonment issues and insecure attachment styles. In overt/grandiose narcissists, triggers are commonly centered around competition, achievement, and failures that threaten one’s ‘God complex.’²

In both subtypes, the triggers for vindictive, angry, and defensive behaviors usually involve an ‘ego wound’ that results in feelings of shame, humiliation, or insecurity.^2,3 Many psychologists believe that vindictiveness is a defense mechanism used to boost one’s self-esteem and regulate emotions when feeling insecure or threatened. It’s often tied to other immature defenses used by people with NPD like projection, denial, idealization of themselves, and devaluation of others.⁴

Examples of triggers for narcissistic rage and vindictiveness include:^2,3,4,8

• Being challenged, debated, or disagreed with
• Being told “no,” rejected, or denied special treatment
• Feeling envious, insecure, or threatened by someone viewed as ‘competition’
• Being told what to do by an authority figure or someone in a position of power
• Hearing critical or corrective feedback about themselves or their performance
• Feeling embarrassed or humiliated, especially in front of others
• Having someone hold them accountable for their actions or mistakes"

Read more in the link below:

https://www.choosingtherapy.com/vindictive-narcissist/

Carrot and stick

"The phrase "carrot and stick" is a metaphor for the use of a combination of reward and punishment to induce a desired behaviour.^[1]

In politics, "carrot or stick" sometimes refers to the realist concept of soft and hard power. The carrot in this context could be the promise of economic or diplomatic aid between nations, while the stick might be the threat of military action."

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrot_and_stick

XB,

It's sad that you come to my blog not to look for information to help you resolve your own childhood repression and grow into an autonomous mature conscious adult with compassion for yourself and others, but instead, you come here looking for information you can use to play mind games with those around you, especially with your mother so you don't have to let go of your mother and her money and face your fears of resolving your own childhood repression and the fears of being alone. 

You keep saying that you thought I was your friend. I don't know what your interpretation of friendship is, but it seems to you friendship means to go along with you all the time and kiss your ass -- you just want to be surrounded by people that kiss your ass -- and go along with you all the time -- and tell you only what you like to hear. Just because I didn't go along in joining you in satisfying your thirst for revenge NOW I'm your number one enemy!

You really didn't know me if you thought I would just go along with you all the time and I would kiss your ass just because you are well off financially!

You are like the person riding the donkey in the picture above, you use your money as the carrot on the stick to control the people in your life so you don't have to face and feel your fears. I have been saying to people for a very long time: face your fears or they will keep biting you in the ass.  

I'm everyone's friend. I write back to everyone that writes to me and if you wrote to me asking any questions I would answer you back! I'm a friend forever! You might not like what I have to say but you can be assured that you will get an honest answer. 

XI, your cousin is coming to visit me for one week. I know she is a big trigger of your unresolved childhood repression. 

I'm very aware that when you both were growing up, she was favored by most in the family and created resentment and jealousy in the child you once were, just like in my childhood my sister  MI was favored by everyone in the family over me. I don't favor anyone. I'm just taking the same risk with D I took with you and giving her the opportunity to spend some time with me too. Your cousin is as much of a victim of her childhood as you are. Being the favored and spoiled child causes a lot of emotional problems in adulthood as does being the scapegoated and rejected child, actually, I think the hero and favored child remain endlessly stuck and have a lot more problems as adults. Everyone needs to find the courage and strength to heal and break free.

 https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2022/11/narcissism-is-epidemic.html

The words below by Alice Miller are so true.

"I think that violent teenagers are demonstrating what happened to them emotionally when they were small. I have no doubt about that. It might not always be a harsh discipline but in most cases, there is emotional neglect, lack of authentic communication, of warm, friendly contact. If this lack is also covered by what is called "spoiling" (buying a lot of expensive objects to replace love), the child is often unable to detect the neglect and stays bound to denial. Anyway, every child must deny the pain in order to survive. Only in adulthood is it possible to realize the truth. But the more the childhood history is repressed, the more its cruelty is denied, the less these young people are able to feel, to confront the actual reasons for their distress, and the stronger they feel urged to act destructively. They have not always have conscious memories of what happened in their childhood, especially in infancy, but this knowledge is stored up in their body's cells and, amazingly enough, they threaten others exactly the same way as they were threatened at the beginning of their life. Unfortunately, the common, ever-present avoidance of the issue of "childhood" doesn't make things easier. I discuss this problem in my book Paths of Life, 1999, and The Truth Will Set You Free, 2002.

“Opposing Miller are those who claim that a law forbidding parents to hit their children brings us uncomfortably close to totalitarianism. Many people believe that smacking children remains a private right, and would have grave misgivings if government legislation intruded into an area as sacrosanct as the home. Her answer is emphatic: "You can't claim the right to play with nuclear weapons on your territory because they belong to you. Similarly, society's interests must go before your pleasure and your habits, and the government must defend these interests. “Parents may claim the right to hit children when they are small as though they are property. Yet as soon as those children become violent delinquents or drug abusers the same parents are eager to turn the problem over to society. The anonymous taxpayer has to fund the hospitals and prisons these once so eagerly disciplined teenagers will need." 

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2020/10/spoiling-children-is-form-of-child-abuse_29.html?m=1

Don't worry I know very well that every time I allow someone to get close to me, family or not family, who has not become conscious of their own childhood repression, it's always a risk of being exploited and taken advantage of. And trying to make me their poison container or scapegoat for their unresolved childhood repression -- it's always a risk when dealing with human beings.

I will take extra precautions and  I will be very careful.

With you, I waited for many, many years to see if you would find the courage to get off the fence and start your true journey to your authentic self. I gave you more time than I ever gave anyone else in my entire life. You only give value to money but time is a lot more valuable. I no longer have the time and patience to wait on people as I did with you.

Money can always be recovered but time can never be recovered once is lost! All these years you exploited my time and my love and now you act like you are my victim! My only mistake with you was not confronting you sooner...

You never really supported me on anything and the little support you tried to give me was not authentic and was done in a way without compromising yourself too much. Just like Marty and some residents at my job of nine and a half years that you met most of them at my 53rd birthday party. You, like Marty and some of the residents that pretended to love me -- the moment they felt confronted by the truths in my book, they all started plotting against me... if people can't be authentic I rather they block me out of their lives. 

It's amazing that the moment I confront people with their BS, they all go on the attack right away instead of looking in the mirror and taking responsibility for their own childhood repression. What do we call people like this?! We call them cowards! Unfortunately, our world is full of cowards.   

It's so sad that you gathered good information from me and joined the cult of the WOKE like millions of people who acquire good information but don't apply it to themselves first and go out into the world pointing fingers at everyone else and acting like they know better and are superior to others.   

If your cousin visiting me triggers you I hope you are able to understand your painful feelings and consciously feel them within the context of your own childhood. Once we understand our painful feelings and consciously feel them in the right context, they start to subside and are replaced with authentic love and happiness and we feel liberated.  

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2012/12/facing-and-feeling-repressed-emotions.html

Just like I wrote in my book on pages 129, 163, and 164:

“The key to effective therapy is learning how to use your present triggers productively. They can help us clarify, understand, and consciously feel our intense emotions within the context of our own childhoods without losing our adult consciousness. A good therapist can help us regain our adult consciousness if we lose it and encourage our autonomy, so we can deal with present issues from an adult perspective.

… Just remember this: If particular people or circumstances trigger excruciatingly intense feelings inside you, just keep telling yourself that these are the repressed feelings of the child you once were. Feelings don’t kill anyone no matter how intense they are. Only actions kill. So if you ride your intense feelings into shore, direct them at the real culprits who hurt you when you were a defenseless child and avoid taking any actions you may regret later, you’ll be free and no one will get hurt. As an autonomous adult, you do have some control over the people you let into your inner circle, and you may have to make some relationship adjustments as you do your emotional work. I took a lot of extra time to be with myself in solitude because most of the people in my life just didn’t understand what I was going through. When you’re trying to resolve your repression, being around unconscious people who are doing everything they can to avoid their own truths puts you at risk of relapsing into playing your old roles.”

I wish you the courage and strength to spend time alone in solitude to face your painful truths and feel your triggered emotions within the context of your own childhood.

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2021/10/using-our-triggers-constructively.html

How to become a WOKE idiot

https://youtube.com/shorts/u_vm5ng-HCE?feature=share

I Wonder How Many Lives These Monsters Destroy

I was doing research online about the bank robbery from 2016 involving KW and came across your blog. From what I can tell, there is nothing online that publicly named KW as the culprit. Do you have anything official that names him as such? I only know specifics through acquaintances. 

Hi there,

You will not find anything online that publicly names him because it's a big cover-up!

Everything I know it's in my blog! You can make the connection that the day he robbed a bank and kill himself is the same as his obituary! 

Don't you think it's a big coincidence?! 

I'm sure if it was me the little woman to commit a crime my name and face would have been all over the news stations. 

Call the FBI and the media, and ask them why they won't release his name to the general public?

I contacted the media many times but I never heard back from them!

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2017/04/the-silence-from-media-is-deafening.html

Feel free to share with me what you know.

Sylvie

Yeah, I figured it was a long shot. I assume it’s not public info because he was a former cop. If it was released that he was a criminal, his previous arrests would likely need to be retried. Due to the headache that would cause, the FBI probably just kept that all sealed/quiet. Again, thanks for the reply. I appreciate it.

Hi there!

He was previously arrested?! Please tell me what you know about his previous arrests.

I just went through a similar experience again at my last job of almost 8 years and once again I had to change jobs. It’s so crazy!  My last boss worked with Kyle Wilson at Securitas and he too used to be in law enforcement he just like Kyle treated me like a criminal but we know who the true criminals are -- hiding behind badges and titles -- he is just like Kyle -- a lying and deceitful man. Actually, I think my last boss is even worse than Kyle Wilson and much more arrogant! He knew what had happened with Kyle Wilson, but he thought was a much more talented sociopath and assure of himself that he would be the one to get me to self-destruct! Some sociopaths love a challenge! These people are predators and I was their ultimate prey! Their grand prize! Most police officers are corrupt and so are most security companies. We live in a very sad world. 

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2023/01/criminals-work-well-together.html  

Sylvie

My bad. I must have worded my reply poorly. He was a cop before. Because he was caught robbing banks, I assume the FBI kept his identity a secret to prevent arrests made when he was a cop from needing to be retried. That’s my best guess as to why nobody can find info naming Kyle as the culprit. 

Hello there,

Thanks for clarifying! You worded it just fine. I just read it wrong. That makes a lot of sense! I can imagine how many people he hurt with false reporting. Me, he only hurt me financially and caused me to suffer for a while from PTSD, the goal of their very well-orchestrated smear campaigns was to see me dead, in jail, or in a mental hospital. 

My very last boss that also worked with Kyle Wilson at Securitas with his false reporting to HR also was hoping I would react to his lies and mind games and drive me insane. 

These monsters in power positions over others destroying lives need to be exposed everywhere. I wonder how many lives my last boss destroyed during his carrier as a police officer because he is a bigger monster than Kyle Wilson.

Society at large doesn't seem to care. As long doesn't affect them personally no one cares.

 We live in a very sad world. 

Thank you for writing,

Sylvie 

Happy Valentine's Day

You know the old cliché love heals, well it is true, but the love must come from within, doesn’t matter how much love we get from the external world, if we don’t love ourselves, the love we get from the external world will have no effect on us. The only love that matters is the love we have for ourselves.

Work on growing your own love for yourself and find the courage and strength to face your fears of being alone and learn to stand on your own two feet. 

No one out there can learn to love you better than you can. Love grows from within and never comes from the external world. We find love when we are love. If we ever meet another person with authentic love also and we choose to stay together then will be two people in love together! But good luck finding another person with authentic love. What I find most is people acting as if personalities giving the illusion of love.  Most People’s Love is Nothing But a Farce, a Sham, and a Façade

“We cannot really love if we are forbidden to know our truth, the truth about our parents and caregivers as well as about ourselves. We can only try to behave as if we were loving, but this hypocritical behavior is the opposite of love. It is confusing and deceptive, and it produces much helpless rage in the deceived person. This rage must be repressed in the presence of the pretended “love,” especially if one is dependent, as a child is, on the person who is masquerading in this illusion of love.” Alice Miller (The Drama of the Gifted Child: The search for the True Self) Page 23

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2013/07/most-peoples-love-is-nothing-but-farce.html

Falling in love is more dangerous than most people are willing to admit. If we knew falling in love meant going into all the dark chambers of the soul, none of us would risk it. Becoming a real lover in life involves opening up our whole being.

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/search?q=We+find+love+when+we+are+love

The song Flowers by Miley Cyrus expresses beautifully where I have been for many years after Marty left in the year 2000. If I was still Dancing today I would be dancing on the stage to Miley Cyrus' song Flowers! 

This is me outside my house in 1990 when Dancing was clean fun and good money sitting on the bike that I bought for Marty!  

Me on the stage!

In my kitchen getting ready for work at the first house I bought in Scottsdale. 

And here is Marty! Even better looking than Leonardo DiCaprio. When I met him his hair was a little longer and he looked even better!

He was 11 years younger than me. No one can ever accuse me of going out with older men for their money! But I went out with a younger guy and bought him expensive gifts! My audience was young affluent ASU students. Going out with Marty I had the college experience without ever going to college! I had no need to go to college! Formal education alone without resolving childhood repression is just another big illusion in our world full of illusions! Dangerously repressed people with college degrees are very dangerous people destroying lives everywhere behind closed doors in board rooms...

More pictures 

I'll never regret meeting you. You were the best mistake I ever made.

All the tears I shed, all the time I lost, and the overthinking I did weren't in vain because they taught me to never give my love out so freely ever again.

So, I thank you for everything you put me through. You helped me grow. You helped me build the woman I am today and remind me of the type of woman I'll never be again.