Living with my Truth

“To live with one’s own truth is to be at home with oneself. That is the opposite of isolation. We only need confirmation when we are alienated from ourselves and in flight from the truth. All the friends and devoted admires in the world cannot make up for the loss.” I too like Alice, since feeling the almost unfathomable isolation of my childhood and youth, I no longer feel isolated.

Today, I feel like a child, but I think like a mature conscious adult and every day is an adventure for me. I remember when I was a little kid in the village, probably about 4, being so excited about being alive and I could not wait for the sun to come up in the morning so I could go into the woods and explore all the little things and be in awe with all the deferent life forms. And today I am the same way I am looking forward to getting up every morning.

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2023/05/i-feel-like-child-but-i-think-like.html?m=1

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2017/08/the-avoidance-of-truth-in-medicine-and.html?m=1

Seductive Stalking

"The period of influence consists in leading someone, without argument, to think, make decisions, and behave other than he would spontaneously on his own. During the "seductive stalking" period, the targeted  is unable to freely consent a priori because his sensibilities and vulnerabilities are influenced and manipulated.  As in any manipulative process, the victim must first be made to believe he is free, even when he is insidiously deprived of the freedom to act. There can be no question of a discussion between equals; the abuser must subtly impose himself while preventing the other from becoming aware of the process and from discussing or resisting it. The victim's ability to defend himself is withdrawn, and his judgment is negated, thereby eliminating any possibility of rebellion. We find here the types of situations in which one individual exerts undue and abusive influence over another without his knowledge. In daily life we constantly being manipulated, destabilized, and muddled, and every time it happens we are furious at the perpetrator but even more ashamed of ourselves." 

Except from the book Stalking the Soul: Emotional Abuse and Erosion of Identity by Marie - France Herigoyen, page 90.

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/search?q=Stalking+&m=1

What Is The End Game For A Narcissist's Spite?

Narcissists are forever toddlers who don't know themselves and mimic or copy people around them. I have a niece who alternates between copying me and the master manipulator in my family. But saying no to her and refusing to go along with her and money are her big triggers that remove her masks and show her true colors...

"Let Them Lose You

You need to let people lose you Let them go along with the crowd Let them believe what they want to believe

Let them think they have better Let them sleep on your worth

Because in due time they will realize the mistake they made. And it will be just enough time for you to accept that you're better off without them." Morgan Richard Ouvier

https://youtube.com/shorts/dFATTiNcSTU?si=ougKIjSdCwCpI9IM

https://youtube.com/shorts/vHgMwDmYP-I?si=iZpu02Ej48_sEIrr

https://youtube.com/shorts/8OOsw17jaq4?si=-M17geV0ys4HA8xU

https://youtube.com/shorts/EhbxXHq3bVc?si=YQhovZr4AWfyZQsr

https://youtube.com/shorts/rXeVSS14d68?si=M7qWBtSjVYvyblUc

Why a Narcissistic Can Stay Married for Decades

 

Nothing is more important to a narcissist than his or her image. 

They are forever toddlers in an adult body acting as if personality pretending to be adults. Endless reenacting their disastrous childhood dramas. 

All of my life people tried to make me feel my perceptions were wrong and that I was crazy so they could go on with their illusions, as usual, to keep their own repression intact -- and I doubted myself most of my life -- But now I know my true myself and I no longer doubt myself. 

I will not allow anyone to come to my life and change my perceptions and reality, so people can be comfortable and go on with their illusions as usual.

Narcissists are Stuck in the Diaper Stage -- chasing the pacifier of “money” to keep repressing childhood pain, money alone without facing our childhood repression -- is just another illusion. We live in an Upside Down World 

In most cases, rich and poor are different ends of the same stick. Fucked up people with money at one end and fucked up people with no money at the other end. 

The words below by Alice Miller explain beautifully why so many "intelligent" and "talented" people fall for the games of narcissists, the capacity to resist a totalitarian state has nothing to do with intelligence, but with the degree of access to our true self.

"Just as in the symbiosis of the "diaper stage," there is no separation here of subject and object. If the child learns to view corporal punishment as "a necessary measure" against "wrongdoers," then as an adult he will attempt to protect himself from punishment by being obedient and will not hesitate to cooperate with the penal system. In a totalitarian state, which is a mirror of his upbringing, this citizen can also carry out any form of torture or persecution without having a guilty conscience. His "will" is completely identical with that of the government.

Now that we have seen how easy it is for intellectuals in a dictatorship to be corrupted, it would be a vestige of aristocratic snobbery to think that only "the uneducated masses" are susceptible to propaganda. Both Hitler and Stalin had a surprisingly large number of enthusiastic followers among intellectuals. Our capacity to resist has nothing to do with our intelligence but with the degree of access to our true self. 

Indeed, intelligence is capable of innumerable rationalizations when it comes to the matter of adaptation. 

Educators have always known this and have exploited it for their own purposes, as the following proverb suggests: "The clever person gives in, the stupid one balks." For example, we read in a work on child raising by Grünwald (1899): "I have never yet found willfulness in an intellectually advanced or exceptionally gifted child" (quoted in Rutschky). Such a child can, in later life, exhibit extraordinary acuity in criticizing the ideologies of his opponents--and in puberty even the views by his own parents-- because in these cases his intellectual powers can function without impairment. 

Only within a group--such as one consisting of adherents of an ideology or a theoretical school--that represents the early family situation will this person on occasion still display a naïve submissiveness and uncritical attitude that completely belie his brilliance in other situations. 

Here, tragically, his early dependence upon tyrannical parents is preserved, a dependence that--in keeping with the program of "poisonous pedagogy"--goes undetected. 

This explains why Martin Heidegger, for example, who had no trouble in breaking with traditional philosophy and leaving behind the teachers of his adolescence, was not able to see the contradictions in Hitler's ideology that should have been obvious to someone of his intelligence. He responded to this ideology with an infantile fascination and devotion that brooked no criticism.”

From the book For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-rearing and the Roots of Violence pages 42 and 43

How Narcissists React When they Leave you but you Refuse to Chase

 

No, I don't chase after them.

Yes, holding information that can be helpful to others is a form of lying and is abuse. Being a passive liar is just as destructive as the people speaking out loud lies. 

Many people are hoards of money and information so they can feel superior and powerful. All they want is power over others. 

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/search?q=Holding+information+is+a+form+of+lying+

Most people's objective in life, no matter what race, is not freedom for themselves and others. Most people's objective is to one day own their own slaves. This is what most people, no matter of race, is fighting so hard for! Most people want to be on top, no matter what race, and they don't care who they step on to get to the top! 

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/search?q=slaves

Addiction and greed are the same things.  Greed or addiction means that whatever the object of our affection is, we can never get enough of it.  Addicts live in constant fear of losing the object of their affection and go to any lengths to protect it.  They will lie, cheat, steal, go to war without thinking twice, and exploit others even their own children.  No wonder so many young people are so angry; for when we feel used and exploited we get angry.  Only addicts will elect and support an addict to be our leader.  This means there are a lot of addictive or greedy people in our society!!!

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2014/04/addiction-and-greed-is-same-thing.html

"If a man has an apartment stacked to the ceiling with newspapers, we call him crazy. If a woman has a trailer house full of cats, we call her nuts.

But when people pathologically hoard so much cash that they impoverish the entire nation, we put them on the cover of Fortune magazine and pretend that they are role models." ~B. Lester

"The goal of an abusive individual is to gain or maintain power by whatever means possible or else to mask his own incompetence. 

In order to accomplish this, he must get rid of anyone who impedes his progress or sees through him."  

Stalking the Soul: Emotional Abuse and Erosion of Identity by Marie-France Hirigoyen page 71

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2015/02/stalking-soul.html?m=1

 How would you define abuse?

Abuse means to me using a person for whatever I want from her, or him, without asking for their agreement, without respecting their will and their interests. With children, it is very easy to do so, because they are loving, they trust their parents and most adults, and they don’t realize that they were abused, that their love had been exploited. Especially if they were forced to ignore their emotions from the beginning, they might have lost their sensibility for the warning signals.

A small girl will follow to the cellar the neighbor who promised her chocolate, although she may feel uncomfortable. But if she learned from the beginning of her life that her feelings didn’t matter and that she should obey every adult person, even if she feels resistance, she will follow the neighbor. She will behave like the Little Red Riding-Hood in the fairytale. And she may later suffer in her relationship with men for her whole life if she didn’t work out this early experience in the cellar. However, if she does, she will no longer be in danger of becoming a victim of rape or any other kind of molestation.

https://www.alice-miller.com/en/how-to-combat-denial/

George Carlin: pro-life, abortation & the sanctity of life...

George Carlin was a visionary.

Confronting the Internalized Parents

We have to confront the internalized parents in ourselves if we don't want to become like them. 

Marty, my boyfriend of 10 years triggered my internalized older sisters that raised me. 

Growing up I had promised myself I would not become like them but all I had done until I met Marty was to repress them. Marty was the perfect trigger to bring them to the surface and I was becoming like my older sisters and hated myself and Marty for it. 

My older sisters used to stalk me and here I caught myself stalking Marty just like I was stalked when I was little. He forced me to confront my internalized older sisters and liberate myself to become a true mature conscious adult!

Falling in love and sexual attraction means that we have found the perfect person to trigger us, rise to the surface, all that was repressed in us; no one can trigger in us what is not already in ourselves. Once we have faced our repression and felt the excruciating feelings of the child we once were in the right context. We don’t fall in love anymore and have sexual attraction. We are in love; and if we meet another person in love, and if we choose to stay together, then we'll be two people in love together. We find love when we are love. Falling in love is more dangerous than most people are willing to admit. If we knew falling in love meant going into all the dark chambers of the soul, none of us would risk it. To become a real lover in life involves opening up our whole being.

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2012/01/no-divorce-or-separation-cannot-make.html

People need to heal their traumas by confronting their internalized parents with the help of a truly enlightened witness, to develop their inner child to truly grow and leave the parents and become autonomous independent adults. 

Otherwise, it is just like leaving one cult to join another. How can I make it clear that until we feel the repressed emotions within the context of our own childhood, we will never leave the prison of our childhood, and it doesn't matter if we never talk to our family of origin again, because we just keep endless reenacting our childhood drama with substitute mothers and fathers’ figures in one form or another?  

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2014/02/how-use-of-information-is-abused.html?m=1

Transference

I seem to have the talent of triggering people’s repressed emotions of the child they once were, but handling people’s transference I am not as good as I like to be. It’s never comfortable when people project or transfer into me their repressed hatred of the child they once were at their parents.

 “Should we as adults be treated in the same way as our parents treated us as children, many of us - especially if we have been through therapy - can become aware of the cruelty endured before. But the knowledge of the whole amount of cruelty can still rest repressed because the terror happened when we had not yet a name for it. For this reason, we need what we call "the transference", hating, for instance, another person instead of our mother or father.

The transference is unavoidable if we were once abused, as children. It can also be highly confusing.

But it can be liberating as well if we are ready to see it as a consequence of our early life.

If we have summoned the courage to look our outraged, hateful YOUNG parents in the eyes,

and to feel the fear of the small child we once were, then the misleading, confusing, and defensive role of the transference disappears.

We can then strive to feel the fear of the small baby, scared to death by the two big human beings holding our body and soul in their hands and doing or saying to us whatever they wanted, totally careless about our future, about what consequences their abuse might have on our lives.

They acted like robots, directed by their own childhoods, unable of any kind of reflection whatsoever.

If we don’t want to become like them we must strive to SEE them as exactly as possible. We can use in this way the transference as a means for discovering the feelings of the small child that we once were and to deepen our understanding for him or her. At this moment the transference becomes our guide that will enable the small child in us to BELIEVE what their body KNEW it’s whole life but his mind could never believe: that so much evil and hatred can be directed towards a small, innocent child only because the parents have endured the same and have never questioned this.”

http://www.alice-miller.com/en/about-transference/

Here is where most of humanity is stuck. unconsciously and compulsively looking for scapegoats or poisonous containers to temporally alleviate their own childhood repression. Repeating exactly what their own parents did to them and this vicious circle goes on endlessly...

Elon Musk is Reenacting his Childhood Drama on the Stage of the World

Elon Musk is reenacting his childhood drama on the stage of the world unconsciously and compulsively, telling his true story by treating others the same way he was treated as a small child. He gives us evidence that money, success, and intelligence alone are not enough to liberate a person from his childhood emotional prison. 

As long as people's childhood repression goes unresolved -- they will be shackled into the chains of compulsion repetition -- and it doesn't matter how well anyone articulates very nice ideas... The problem is not a lack of knowledge and educated people, there are plenty of educated people with intellectual knowledge, the problem is an emotional blockage with the so-called “professionals” or “educated people” hiding behind their rationalizations and seductive theories to protect themselves from having to face and feel their own emotional pain. It takes courage to see, face, and feel our painful truths, intelligence alone is not enough; but it rather helps create seductive, rationalizations, theories, illusions, and lies. 

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2016/05/education-alone-is-just-another-illusion.html?m=1

""Only unflinching realization of one’s own past reality, of what really happened can break through the chain of abuse. If I know and can feel what my parents did to me when I was totally defenseless, I no longer need victims to befog my awareness. I no longer need to reenact what happened to me with the help of innocent people because now I KNOW what happened. And if I want to live my life consciously, without exploiting others, then I must actively accept that knowledge.

..Am I saying that forgiveness for crimes done to a child is not only ineffective but actively harmful? Yes, that is precisely what I am saying. The body does not understand moral precepts. It fights against the denial of genuine emotions and for the admission of the truth to our conscious minds. This is something the child cannot afford to do, it has to deceive itself and turn a blind eye to the parents’ crimes in order to survive. Adults no longer need to do this, but if they do, the price they pay is high. Either they ruin their own health or they make others pay the price – their children, their patients, the people who work for them, etc." -- Alice Miller

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2013/11/dependency-breeds-hatred.html?m=1

Why Narcissists Stumble When they Can't Control You

At my age I don't give people second chances anymore! 

If you try to make me your scapegoat or poison container once, or try to control me or manipulate me in any way and it will be the last time, because I have learned to walk away, mourn my losses and move on. 

https://youtube.com/shorts/9QwzTbWp-O4?si=sRDB-aAJxUpxn5e9

Cordiality

Just because I'm cordial and I refused to be used by MC to join her unresolved repressed hatred to satisfy her thirst for revenge -- don't think NOW you can manipulate me -- to use me for what you want... 

MC is too emotionally blind by the unresolved repressed emotions to see that taking revenge, especially on scapegoats, does nothing for us other than digging our own graves. If she doesn't manage to stop her compulsion to want to take revenge all she is doing is digging her own grave.

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2017/05/scapegoating.html?m=1

I refuse to let myself be someone's puppet no matter how much charm and charisma they have, who they are and how much money they have.

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2018/06/we-live-in-world-of-puppets-and.html?m=1

All the time MC spent with me was not to learn and grow into a mature conscious adult but to collect information she could use against other people, including me, to give her an advantage in the games people play. 

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/search?q=the+games+people+play+

In 2020 I wrote her a letter to tell her that she has been at a crossroads for a long time and the time has come to choose what road she wanted to take -- the road most traveled or the road less traveled -- but she paid no attention to it -- and I just let her be -- but now life is forcing her to make a choice and unconsciously she is picking the road most traveled and taking the same road of her mother and of most people in our world that's why is the road most traveled!  She thinks is better, superior, and on the top of her game but your aunt was once on top of her game too, the people going through insolvency that she makes a lot of money of, they too once thought, they were on top of their game. These are illusions that can end at any time! 

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2020/09/at-crossroads-pick-road-less-travelled.html

MC or anyone can change roads at any time but have to find the courage to stand alone and walk alone.

 https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/search?q=fears

There is a saying here in the US that says: the chickens are coming home to roost and that's exactly what is happening NOW! "The idiom "chickens come home to roost" means that past actions or mistakes cause problems later. 

"...I had this hope 30 years ago when I wrote the Drama of the Gifted Child. I thought that showing the truth could change so much. Meanwhile, I became more skeptical or just more impatient after I discovered the fear of the beaten child in all of us that built up the omnipresent resistance against the truth." Alice Miller

(Me too like Alice Miller I had the hope that the writing of my book would help pass this knowledge to the masses, but like Alice Miller, I have become skeptical, and with the writing of my book, I too learned that people's repressed fears at the parents builds omnipresent resistance against the truth. People rather destroy others than face and consciously feel their repressed fears to see the truth. This is why I have been harassed, prosecuted, and ostracized in the workplace since I published my book A Dance to Freedom. I understand people's fears of consciously feeling their childhood pain that they have been trying to keep repressed all of their lives, but it is still disappointing that pretty much everyone I meet doesn't dare to face their fears and become real and grow into a mature conscious adult) 

"...It is impossible without liberating the strong bitterness of the abused child we hide deep in our bodies because of the fears of our parents. Unfortunately, ALL religions FORBID this emotional liberation, they rather allow wars, some of them even consider wars as sacred because they have never understood that feeling the legitimate rage PROTECTS us from acting out in wars and criminality. The last is organized exactly by people who DON’T feel."

The words below by Alice Miller articulate what MC is becoming if she doesn't manage to stop her compulsion for revenge.

"The unconscious compulsion to revenge repressed injuries is more powerful than reason. That is the lesson that all tyrants teach us. One should not expect judiciousness from a mad person motivated by compulsive panic. One should, however, protect oneself from such a person." Alice Miller -- Breaking Down the Wall of Silence page 82

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/search?q=protect+ourselves

https://youtube.com/shorts/Ii1GRDdsFcA?si=uZjqt241d61m4R-R

9 benefits of living alone that society rarely talks about

"Living alone can feel like a big, intimidating leap into the unknown. It’s a journey that society often overlooks, focusing more on the value of companionship.

What if I told you that living alone has its own unique benefits? Benefits that are rarely talked about, but can truly enhance your life.

In this article, we’re going to dive into the incredible perks of solo living. Just you, your space, and the freedom to live exactly as you please.

Join me as we explore 9 benefits of living alone that society rarely discusses. Benefits that might just make you reconsider the way you perceive solitude.

1) Personal freedom

Living alone often means an unparalleled level of personal freedom.

When you’re living solo, you’re the master of your own domain. No compromises on the thermostat, no debates over what to watch on TV, and certainly no judgment for eating cereal for dinner.

This freedom is more than just about being able to do what you want when you want. It’s about being able to live your life on your terms, without having to answer to anyone else.

You can create an environment that perfectly suits your tastes and needs. You can be messy or neat, loud or quiet, early bird or night owl – all without the worry of disturbing someone else.

Living alone allows you to fully express yourself within your own space. And in a world where we often have to compromise and conform, this personal freedom is a luxury that’s rarely discussed.

But it’s a precious benefit of living alone that we should truly appreciate. Because it’s not just about freedom from others – it’s about freedom for you."

I totally agree with the author of this article.  I love my freedom! Click on the link below to read all the 9 benefits of living alone.

https://geediting.com/9-benefits-of-living-alone-that-society-rarely-talks-about/