Hi L, I was not going to respond to your comment, because I did not think you were ready to hear what I see and feel, but you asked for my thoughts and here they are:
Only children need to repress and deny their plight in order to survive, but as an adult what once was a lifesaving mechanism will keep us unconscious and compulsively repeating or reenacting our childhood drama over and over again keeping us eternally trapped in an emotional prison. As an adult, if we gather the courage to see and feel we will not die to the contrary we will save our lives and the future of our children and be free to really live.
I understand your fears and anxiety and you went around in your head tip-toeing using your intellect, creating a smokescreen that is confusing you and others that are still emotionally blind so you did not have to see the truth and feel your fears and anxiety and took the side of a person that is too threating just like your abusive uncle was because the little boy you once were still trapped in that bathroom, I hope one day the adult in you, now, finds the courage and strength to face the internalized intimidating uncle and you rescue the little boy you once were out of that bathroom and liberate yourself so when in the present moment you are in the presence of intimidating person you can stand up to him/her and not let the fear of the child you once were from exposing the truth and facts.
Your friend gave me more evidence that in most cases people desire to have children comes from their unconscious need to have an available object to project themselves because at the moment I stated that she lashed out at me with personal attacks, I understand these projections and now that I have freed myself I can handle them without losing my balance, but a child has no way of understanding these projections and this is why I would never carry a pregnancy to term and give birth to a new life I could not take care of and protect and would never give the baby up for adoption because the chance of ending up with a person that will use the baby unconsciously and compulsively to satisfy her needs and to project herself into is very high and I would never take that risk.
Of course, that can be exceptions to the rule, but those exceptions are very rare making it a very costly risk -- it's playing Russian Roulette with the lives of defenseless little babies -- for example, I now sometimes think about adopting a child, but not because I have a need to be a mother, but because I now know, without a doubt, I am in place of being a conscious mother and there are so many children unfortunately out there in need of a mother because so many women were not conscious of the risks of carrying a pregnancy to term and given birth to a new life they can’t take care of emotionally and financially.
When a person cannot have children should feel fortunate of the clue their bodies are given them and not force it, because I know without a doubt when we force things is never a good outcome and to this day I have not seen a happy child that the parents went to extreme lengths to conceive him/her. I wish I had saved the letter of a girl that wrote to me from England that was the product of first test-tube babies in the seventies and how she hated her mother because her mother only thought of what she wanted and never thought once about her child’s feelings and how she felt used by her mother all her life.
And yes a lot of people are not as fortunate to have their body giving them the clue that they are not in position of being conscious parents and if they became aware of their reality they have to take steps to prevent from bringing new life into the world they cannot really love and nurture, so I know without a doubt from my experiences Alice Miller’s words in most cases are facts and very true and Alice Miller herself never said that are no exceptions to the rule.
“(Daryl, you're a genius) I am neither pro-choice nor pro-life. I am pro-education.”
Education alone does nothing because unless people are able to face and feel the repressed feelings of the child they once were in the right context their compulsion to repeat will continue endless no matter how much education they get. The more educated people are the more they use their intellect and rationalizations and pass their psychological virus silently and covertly under the disguise of help with very seductive lies coated with disconnected truths deceiving themselves and the masses.
Sylvie Imelda Shene:
Friday, November 4, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Parents Lay the Ground
Hi C,
I am so sorry it took me so long to answer your letter.
First I like to congratulate you for your courage to speak up about the abuse
you suffer at the hands of a sadistic teacher. What she did was a crime, but sadly crimes
against children still go unrecognized and unpunished by society at large. You
say that your parents did nothing to protect you and they themselves were
abusive towards you. Usually that’s the case parents lay the ground and make
their children vulnerable to abusers, schools and all society’s institutions
are very happy to continue the abuse that parents started at home. Your parents
deserve most of your justified anger for abusing you and making you vulnerable
to abusers that crossed your path and for not taking any steps to protect you
from an extreme abusive sadistic teacher. I think it’s great that you are using
your support group, a safe place, to start speaking up about your abuse and how
you feel. I feel is very important we feel the repressed intense excruciating
feelings of the child we once were towards our real abusers and allow those
wounds to heal first naturally, before we go into the general public seeking
justice, because if we still repressed and wounded we run the risk of feeling
victimized all over again by people that act similar and remind us of our
childhood abusers triggering our repressed excruciating intense feelings and
making us lose our balance and cool when we need it the most to make a stand
for ourselves and other children. Unfortunately most people in our society in
power positions are wounded children themselves and they don’t want to be reminded
of the abuse and that is why they unconsciously and compulsively worked so hard
to be in power over others, so they would not have to face and feel the abuse
they suffered at their parents hands when they were defenseless little children
remaining for eternity scared little children to face and question their own internalized
parents and they use unconsciously the same tactics to silence others the same way
their parents silence them, but if we have resolved our own repression we will
be able to keep our composure when we encounter repressed and unconscious
people in power position.
I did not suffer the extreme abuse you suffered. I was
hit in the head and hands by teachers and constantly emotionally humiliated in
front of the class for not spelling my words correctly and not giving the
answers the teachers wanted to hear, but never went to the extreme of them
removing my clothes and spanking me in my bare bottom. What happened to you is
completely an extreme of abuse of power and is also sexual abuse, because I
have no doubt the teacher has some type of sexual gratification by putting your
pants down and spanking you bare bottom and for sure she should be brought to
justice for crimes against children that are the worst crimes against humanity,
but society chooses to look the other way.
You say: “My father was also extremenly abusive verbally,
emotonally and some what physically. I am single. I wil remain single as to not
infect anyone with my fathers genes. I swore his DNA would end with me but my
brother and sister has children so...
I will not have children and wouldnt want to do to them
what was done to me. I might be a spanker and wouldnt want to have their
sexuality corrupted by these abusive spankings. It wasnt/isnt worth the risk.
Ive read no books and had no special therapy”
I congratulate you for your courage to see of what
happened to you and your fear of passing it into others is very understandable
and I am so sorry you sacrificed getting close to others and your
fatherhood. I too felt the same way as
you and I used to say to myself: the pain stops in me, but it does not have to
be this way. Genes has nothing to do with it. We can learn to take
responsibility for our feelings and resolve our repression and become open to
enter into relationships with people that also have become conscious of their
own history and taking responsibility for their own repressed feelings and no
longer unconsciously and compulsively doing into others what once was done to
them when they were defenseless little children.
I suggest you read Alice Miller’s books and visit her
website www.alice-miller.com her books and website helped me resolve
my own repression and liberate myself and become a voice for other children.
I wish you courage and strength on your journey to liberation
and much success in becoming a strong voice for children still suffering at the
hands of ignorant adults.
Sylvie
P.S. You are also welcome to visit my website www.sylvieshene.com
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Congratulations for your courage,
Sylvie
Sure, Sylvie. I was horrified when I woke up this morning and saw those two just being hateful all over the place, but this is something you and I are used to dealing with on the Net. I figured there wasn't any point in joining the fray if, as you mentioned, L is not going to ditch those people.
I feel sorry for L and hope he finds a way out someday.
Talk to you later,
J
Hi J,
I did not read L’s full comments this morning and I just read most of it right now, but I did not finish reading it, because he is just making me his scapegoat or poisonous container! It just shows how lost he still is unconsciously and compulsively making innocent people that have nothing to do with his anger and pain, but I was just the trigger of it and by making me the scapegoat or poisonous container he loses a great opportunity to resolve this hate and free himself. Sadly I see him dependent on his real abusers and on the disability check from the government for his whole life and therefore will not be able to feel his hate in the right context and endless needing scapegoats to relieve his pent up anger, very sad.
These words Alice wrote to me became very true once again.
AM: I have learned over the years of my work on the internet that there are readers who SEEM to understand SOME of what I have written, at least intellectually, but they are still so afraid of their very cruel parents and of their repressed FEELINGS of rage towards them that they are constantly looking for scapegoats. They thus live in a continual confusion pretending that they are healed and even offering help and empathy to others. But eventually, they use unconsciously other people (even the ones who are quite friendly to them) as a poisonous container like their parents did to them, and if the offended people begin to defend themselves they can become very mean. I can only urge you to trust your feelings and to NOT offer your empathy and interest to everybody just because they say they read and understood everything I have written. In most of the cases, it is a lie. To understand my books means to overcome the fear of one’s parents, to honestly feel the justified rage TOWARD THEM and to no longer use others to getting free from the accumulated rage.
Again thanks for your support
Sylvie
What Alice says, it is very true. Especially the part about them understanding just enough of this stuff intellectually. An advanced ego defense is intellectualization, which I find people doing a lot after years of the older, less sophisticated defense mechanism can no longer shield them from the facts about their abusive history.
Stef also talks a lot about how people will try to make the enlightened witness/philosopher so angry and fed up with humanity that they become withdrawn and stop trying to help the world. I want to avoid stepping into that trap. I will help people regardless of how many adult victims wish to project on me.
Thank you very much, Sylvie.
J
I think I read it and I too did not bother saying anything either, because I could feel L is not open for real feedback and I could tell if we express our true perceptions and he did not agree with it he would come out swinging viciously the same way his childhood abusers intimidate him. And now that I expressed to him how I truthful saw his situation he came out viciously with personal attacks toward me and Alice Miller. He still among my friends on Facebook, but he has been restricted and cannot see everything I post. Me too I want to avoid stepping into that trap and keep on trying exposing abusers and give support to people that really want to help themselves to break free from their emotional prison.
Congratulations on liberating yourself and not letting other people’s projections stopping you.
I wish much success in this very important work you are doing and again thank you for your support,
Sylvie
I just remember now having the chat below with D when L made Stefan Molyneux his scapegoat. D wrote to me asking for my thoughts on what L had written. I thought you might like to read the words I wrote at the bottom.
August 22Sen...t from Chat
D
can you chat by chance?
August 22Sent from Chat
Sylvie Imelda Shene
I am not too busy right now, but I am at work and things can change.
August 22Sent from Chat
D
sure, I understand 9same here). could we maybe schedule a time for a skype convo? I wanted to get your thoughts/feedback on what L has written
August 22Sent from Chat
Sylvie Imelda Shene
I am reading L notes too!
August 22Sent from Chat
D
ok
I'd like to know your thoughts on how (or even if) to respond
August 22
Sylvie Imelda Shene
I am thinking about to respond if I can find the right words. He has some valid points, and maybe the words Stefan picked are not the best ones like if we were rejected as a child we will desire rejection, of course at the conscious level we don’t desire rejection, but unconsciously and compulsively we will be attracted to people that will reenact our childhood drama because unconsciously we still have the illusion that we can change our childhood abuser now in the substitute figures standing in symbolizing our parents or childhood caretakers and finally get the love we been longing for all of our lives, but it will never happen and we only get better after we let go of that illusion and face the fact that no one can ever make up for the love that we needed as a child and now only us can learn to love and care for ourselves. I see L stuck in his story and not able to get out looking for someone with a miracle to save him like he has the illusion that if he could afford primal therapy with Arthur Janov, he would get better, but regression therapy can be very dangerous because it can make people addictive to pain and keep people stuck in the state of the helpless child. I am free to talk for a little bit at 2:45PM my time, Let me know if you are available at that time. Sylvie