Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Parents Lay the Ground
I am so sorry it took me so long to answer your letter. First I like to congratulate you for your courage to speak up about the abuse you suffer at the hands of a sadistic teacher. What she did was a crime, but sadly crimes against children still go unrecognized and unpunished by society at large. You say that your parents did nothing to protect you and they themselves were abusive towards you. Usually that’s the case parents lay the ground and make their children vulnerable to abusers, schools and all society’s institutions are very happy to continue the abuse that parents started at home. Your parents deserve most of your justified anger for abusing you and making you vulnerable to abusers that crossed your path and for not taking any steps to protect you from an extreme abusive sadistic teacher. I think it’s great that you are using your support group, a safe place, to start speaking up about your abuse and how you feel. I feel is very important we feel the repressed intense excruciating feelings of the child we once were towards our real abusers and allow those wounds to heal first naturally, before we go into the general public seeking justice, because if we still repressed and wounded we run the risk of feeling victimized all over again by people that act similar and remind us of our childhood abusers triggering our repressed excruciating intense feelings and making us lose our balance and cool when we need it the most to make a stand for ourselves and other children. Unfortunately most people in our society in power positions are wounded children themselves and they don’t want to be reminded of the abuse and that is why they unconsciously and compulsively worked so hard to be in power over others, so they would not have to face and feel the abuse they suffered at their parents hands when they were defenseless little children remaining for eternity scared little children to face and question their own internalized parents and they use unconsciously the same tactics to silence others the same way their parents silence them, but if we have resolved our own repression we will be able to keep our composure when we encounter repressed and unconscious people in power position.
I did not suffer the extreme abuse you suffered. I was hit in the head and hands by teachers and constantly emotionally humiliated in front of the class for not spelling my words correctly and not giving the answers the teachers wanted to hear, but never went to the extreme of them removing my clothes and spanking me in my bare bottom. What happened to you is completely an extreme of abuse of power and is also sexual abuse, because I have no doubt the teacher has some type of sexual gratification by putting your pants down and spanking you bare bottom and for sure she should be brought to justice for crimes against children that are the worst crimes against humanity, but society chooses to look the other way.
You say: “My father was also extremenly abusive verbally, emotonally and some what physically. I am single. I wil remain single as to not infect anyone with my fathers genes. I swore his DNA would end with me but my brother and sister has children so...
I will not have children and wouldnt want to do to them what was done to me. I might be a spanker and wouldnt want to have their sexuality corrupted by these abusive spankings. It wasnt/isnt worth the risk. Ive read no books and had no special therapy”
I congratulate you for your courage to see of what happened to you and your fear of passing it into others is very understandable and I am so sorry you sacrificed getting close to others and your fatherhood. I too felt the same way as you and I used to say to myself: the pain stops in me, but it does not have to be this way. Genes has nothing to do with it. We can learn to take responsibility for our feelings and resolve our repression and become open to enter into relationships with people that also have become conscious of their own history and taking responsibility for their own repressed feelings and no longer unconsciously and compulsively doing into others what once was done to them when they were defenseless little children.
I suggest you read Alice Miller’s books and visit her website www.alice-miller.com her books and website helped me resolve my own repression and liberate myself and become a voice for other children.
I wish you courage and strength on your journey to liberation and much success in becoming a strong voice for children still suffering at the hands of ignorant adults.
P.S. You are also welcome to visit my website www.sylvieshene.com