Saturday, November 26, 2022

Time is More Powerful than You

Power and control are big illusions! My most recent boss has the illusion that he has the power and is in control. I'm glad I will not be close to him when his illusions burst because it will not be pretty! I feel sorry for his wife...

"When a bird is alive... it eats ants. When the bird has died... ants eat it. One tree can be made into a million matchsticks... but only one match is needed to burn a million trees! Circumstances can change at any time... Don't devalue or hurt anyone in this life... You may be powerful today but time is more powerful than you!"

"Loyalty means nothing to a sociopath or narcissist. Healthy people feel attachment and love for the people closest to them, but psychopaths can drop anyone whenever it's convenient for them, and they do so without a hint of guilt or self-doubt. The casual way they discard people illuminates the same shallowness experienced when they idealize people. Although their flattery is personalized and calculated, it's never authentic or genuine. This is why they can backstab and betray "loved ones" without a second thought." [These words describe my most recent boss and this is why he hated me so much because he knew I could see through him and that's why he wanted me gone at all costs] 

A NARCISSIST IS STUCK IN CHILDHOOD AND WILL NEVER GROW UP. THEY BELIEVE THAT THEY ARE PERFECT AND THAT IT'S THE WORLD AROUND THEM THAT MUST CATER TO THEM.

The quickest way - and the only way - to change society - is for every member of society to face and resolve childhood repression.

The words below I wrote in a comment are so true! I bet you the sociopaths, bad players, assholes, or whatever you like to call these evil people that kept targeting me in the workplace and tried so hard to destroy me after I published my book, were all once very well-behaved children.
...all the religious nuts and politicians screwing everyone’s life, I guarantee you, they were all once very well-behaved children. Watch out for the well-behaved children, because once they become adults, they are the ones that will screw us in one form or another.

Since publishing my book has been a constant dance with Lucifer...

Addiction and greed are the same things.  Greed or addiction means that whatever the object of our affection is, we can never get enough of it.  Addicts live in constant fear of losing the object of their affection and go to any lengths to protect it.  They will lie, cheat, steal, go to war without thinking twice, and exploit others even their own children.  No wonder so many young people are so angry; for when we feel used and exploited we get angry.  

M: you are not completely alone, I guess we are a bunch of us each of us in our little corner. what you post is significant as is your book. And the world is falling apart, I refuse to deny it, Things are getting stranger and stranger. Somehow even this Corona reveals a lot, there is even a video somewhere on youtube about corona and narcissists. To me, it is a sort of catalyst, the nakedness of who we are when some of the distractions are being shut off. But I do feel sorry for the weak, kids, some women... 

V: I like your description of addiction. It reminds me of Gabor Mate's description. He points out that the most dangerous addiction is an addiction to power. He sees the addictions that we normally perceive as addictions to drugs and substances as maladaptive soothing behaviors that are taught in less-than-happy childhoods.

V, In the end, we only can heal ourselves and if we can accomplish that, that's a lot! I agree the most dangerous addiction is the addiction to power and money.

Emotional abuse is so much worse than physical abuse, if I had been shot in retaliation for writing my book sharing my life experiences and psychological discoveries, I would have had the attention and sympathy of the whole world, but because of the violence I suffered to try to silence me was psychological nobody cares. And I'm left alone to deal with it! 

MC: The worst trauma is invisible, it subjects the victim to suffer even more in isolation with the ignorant ones labeled as playing the victim. I have received hints about such an annoying attitude.

MC: It is difficult to keep it all inside you, I am sorry I had to expose what I went through and may have lost much sympathy from former colleagues and friends.  But it was more important and healing for me to speak it out.  Those that have let or avoided me were not friends after all.  The real ones remain, always.
 
My book has cleaned up all the fakes and phonies in my life, that's what I like the most about my book! It freed me!!! I can count all the real people on one hand.

ST: People can really stink sometimes.  Hang in there, Sylvie.

Thank you, S, for your support and the courage to stand by me!

S, the quote below describes what the sociopaths at my last job were trying to accomplish, but thanks to Alice Miller's books helping me resolve my childhood repression, they were not able to regress me to the wounded child I once was. I guess they didn't believe what I wrote in my book and were confident they could regress me and make me look emotionally unstable. 

This is why I keep posting about these very dangerous evil people because other people that have not resolved their own childhood repression can be driven to hurt themselves, others, or both. These people need to be exposed. for the fraud that they are.
"The whole intention of gaslighting is to decrease someone’s self-esteem and self-confidence so they are unable to function in an independent manner. The person being gaslighted will eventually become so insecure that they will fail to trust their own judgment, their intuition and find themselves unable to make decisions." Alex Myles
http://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2015/10/enablers-are-just-as-guilty.html?m=1

You see, S. The truly evil people are not the ones doing the evil acts, the truly evil people are just pulling the strings. The ones doing the evil acts are just being manipulated. Cowards always manipulate others to do their evil work for them. Just like I wrote in my book: a criminal is never guilty all by himself. We are all responsible for the violence we witness in our world. Because society enables and allows the truly evil people pulling the strings to go on for a very long time.

In a world where almost everyone is fake - acting as if personality - pretending to be good people - but are wolves in sheep's clothing. People have a hard time believing I'm real and look at me stone-faced! This is why malignant narcissists love to target me! They want to prove that I'm fake like them, but by coming after me - they end up exposing themselves!


Monday, November 21, 2022

Authoritarianism and the Suppression of Information and Dissent

The words below are so true. That is what I witnessed while I was a guest in a group/cult. The person that invited me was very nice at first, but the moment I started sharing my concerns about the top leaders, it was like they were gods, and pointing out any of their wrongs, was a no, no and he would get really annoyed with me for doing it and even mean. Unconsciously he rather has health problems and protect the leaders than see them as they really are, very sad.

You can read more about this cult in the links below:

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/search?q=People+unlimited+

Also, this has been my experience in the workplace, especially, since I published my book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions. With my book they learn, I can see through their BS and I become their target they must destroy, so they can go on with their lies, illusions, and mind games as usual. But coming after me they end up exposing themselves and eventually they are the ones to self-destruct. Just like my boss at my job of nine and a half years did in 2016. He treated me like a criminal but he was the one to turn out to be the criminal. But now is a big cover-up. If it was me, the little woman to commit a crime my name and face would have been splashed all over the news stations! And then all probably go on TV talking about how disturbed the little woman was -- to discredit me and my book --and make a name for themselves by standing on my head.

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2017/09/big-cover-up-by-sociopaths-at-my-ex-job.html

“Authoritarian personalities are ones that “kiss above and kick below”, in other words, they are loyal to their leaders, but will attack those of lower rank.  They also protect their “in-group” and attack the “out-group”. Social Dominance Orientation (SDO) personalities, on the other hand, tend to be those who lead the authoritarians, they are more interested in being on top.”

The words above describe exactly my boss for the last almost 4 years.

"What can you do?

Unfortunately, this is a type of personality disorder, and there is little you can do when working for or with this type of person. If you are working for this person long term, you need to leave the organization or company as soon as possible. Their negativity will be extremely stressful and ultimately do damage to your career. 

Do not think you can talk to the person and ask them to consider changing. They do not allow anyone to challenge them, and they despise admitting mistakes. In fact, if you are questioning their decisions or behavior, they have already put a plan in motion to whisper about your own competency or value to the company or organization."   

https://tportis.wordpress.com/2011/01/02/understanding-the-psychology-of-the-kiss-upkick-down-leader/

Very true that's why I worked with the target on my back for so long! I survived almost 4 years working with this kind of boss but finally, I left last week because was starting to affect my physical and mental health. No Job is Worth Health Destruction.

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2022/11/no-job-is-worth-health-destruction.html

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/search?q=primal+therapy

"The goal of abusive individual is to gain or maintain power by whatever means possible or else to mask his own incompetence. 

In order to accomplish this, he must get rid of anyone who impedes his progress or sees through him."  

Stalking the Soul: Emotional Abuse and Erosion of Identity by Marie-France Hirigoyen page 71

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2015/02/stalking-soul.html?m=1

Past Lives Theory

Indian health minister claims cancer is caused by sins from a past life

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/india-health-minister-cancer-past-life-sins-assam-state-himanta-biswa-sarma-a8071546.html

It's insanity! How about it's caused by the repressed emotions in our childhood. But in our society, we can't blame parents or childhood caregivers for not given us the freedom to express our true emotions, so people come up with all kind of theories like past lives to protect the parents or childhood caregivers. 

"I too believe that hatred can poison the organism, but only as long as it is unconscious and directed vicariously at substitute figures or scapegoats. 

When that happens, hatred cannot be resolved. Suppose, for example, that I hate a specific ethnic group but have never allowed myself to realize how my parents treated me when I was a child, how they left me crying for hours in my cot when I was a baby, how they never gave me so much as a loving glance. If that is the case, then I will suffer from a latent form of hatred that can pursue me throughout my whole life and cause all kinds of physical symptoms. But if I know what my parents did to me in their ignorance and have a conscious awareness of my indignation at their behavior, then I have no need to re-direct my hatred at other persons. 

In the course of time, my hatred for my parents may weaken, or it may resolve itself temporarily, only to flare up again as a result of events in the present or new memories. But I know what this hatred is all about. Thanks to the feelings I have actively experienced, I now know myself well enough, AND I HAVE NO COMPULSION TO KILL OR HARM ANYONE BECAUSE OF MY FEELINGS OF HATRED.

We frequently meet people who are grateful to their parents for the beatings they received when they were little, or who assert that they have long since forgotten the sexual molestation they suffered at their hands. 

They say that in prayer they have forgiven their parents for their “sins.” But at the same time, they feel a compulsion to resort to physical violence in the upbringing of their children and/or to interfere with them sexually. 

Every pedophile openly displays his “love” of children and has no idea that deep down he is avenging himself for the things done to him as a child. Though he is not consciously aware of this hatred, he is still subject to its dictates.

Such LATENT hatred is indeed dangerous and difficult to resolve because it is not directed at the person who has caused it but at substitute figures. Cemented in different kinds of perversion, it can sustain itself for life and represents a serious threat, not only to the environment of the person harboring it, but also to that person him/herself.

CONSCIOUS, REACTIVE hatred is different. Like any other feeling, this can recede and fade away once we have lived it through. If our parents have treated us badly, possibly even sadistically, and we are able to face up to the fact, then, of course, we will experience feelings of hatred. As I have said, such feelings may weaken or fade away altogether in the course of time, though this never happens from one day to the next. The full extent of the mistreatment inflicted upon a child cannot be dealt with all at once. Coming to terms with it is an extended process in which aspects of the mistreatment are allowed into our consciousness one after the other, thus rekindling the feeling of hatred. But in such cases, hatred is not dangerous. It is a logical consequence of what happened to us, a consequence only fully perceived by the adult, whereas the child was forced to tolerate it in silence for years.

Alongside reactive hatred of the parents and latent hatred deflected onto scapegoats, there is also the justified hatred for a person tormenting us in the present, either physically or mentally, a person we are at the mercy of and either cannot free ourselves of, or at least believe that we cannot. As long as we are in such a state of dependency, or think we are, then hatred is the inevitable outcome. 

It is hardly conceivable that a person being tortured will not feel hatred for the torturer. If we deny ourselves this feeling, we will suffer from physical symptoms. 

The biographies of Christian martyrs are full of descriptions of the dreadful ailments they suffered from, and a significant portion of them are skin diseases. This is how the body defends itself against self-betrayal. These “saints” were enjoined to forgive their tormentors, to “turn the other cheek,” but their inflamed skin was a clear indication of the extreme anger and resentment they were suppressing.

Once such victims have managed to free themselves from the power of their tormentors, they will not have to live with this hatred day in, day out. Of course, the memories of their impotence and the horrors they went through may well up again on occasion. But it is probable that the intensity of their hatred will be tempered as time goes on. (I have discussed this aspect in more detail in my recent book “Our Body Never Lies – The Lingering Effects of Cruel Parenting”, Norton, New York).

Hatred is only a feeling, albeit a very strong and assertive one. Like any other feeling, it is a sign of our vitality. So if we try to suppress it, there will be a price to pay. Hatred tries to tell us something about the injuries we have been subjected to, and also about ourselves, our values, our specific sensitivity. We must learn to pay heed to it and understand the message it conveys. If we can do that, we no longer need to fear hatred. If we hate hypocrisy, insincerity, and mendacity, then we grant ourselves the right to fight them wherever we can or to withdraw from people who only trust in lies. But if we pretend that we are impervious to these things, then we are betraying ourselves.

The almost universal, but in fact highly destructive, injunction to forgive our “trespassers” encourages such self-betrayal. Religion and traditional morality constantly prize forgiveness as a virtue, and in numerous forms of therapy it is erroneously recommended as a path to “healing.” But it is easy to demonstrate that neither prayer nor auto-suggestive exercises in “positive thinking” are able to counteract the body’s justified and vital responses to humiliations and other injuries to our integrity inflicted on us in early childhood. The martyrs’ crippling ailments are a clear indication of the price they had to pay for the denial of their feelings. So would it not be simpler to ask whom this hatred is directed at, and to recognize why it is in fact justified? Then we have a chance of living responsibly with our feelings, without denying them and paying for this “virtue” with illnesses.

There are still countries where physical correction is part and parcel of the acknowledged approach to “upbringing.” But no teacher will beat the children entrusted to his care unless he himself was beaten as a child and forced to learn to suppress his anger. He will take it out on the children in the class without knowing why he does so. I believe that awareness of this fact could save many children from exposure to such brutality. And if statesmen had a genuine awareness of their own personal histories, this would spare whole nations the effects of their ignorance and cruelty.

It is not our feelings that make us a danger to ourselves and our environment, it is the dissociation of those feelings caused by our fear of them. It is here that we must seek the reasons for amok killers, for suicide bombers, and for the countless court judges who close their eyes to the real causes of crime, so as to spare the parents of the delinquents and to keep their own histories in the dark."

https://www.alice-miller.com/en/what-is-hatred/

“Inability to face up to the suffering undergone in childhood can be observed both in the form of religious obedience and in cynicism, irony, and other forms of self-alienation frequently masquerading as philosophy or literature.  But ultimately the body will rebel. Even if it can be temporarily pacified with the help of drugs, nicotine, or medicine, it usually has the last word, because it is quicker to see through self-deception than the mind, particularly if the mind has been trained to function as an alienated self. We may ignore or deride the messages of the body, but its rebellion demands to be heeded because its language is the authentic expression of our true selves and of the strength of our vitality.” From the book the “The Body Never Lies: The Lingering Effects ofHurtful parenting” by Alice Miller

Sunday, November 20, 2022

Narcissism is an Epidemic


This is exactly what happens in many families -- and later reenacted in the workplace -- this is how the workplace everywhere becomes a toxic work environment -- What happens in families, it happens in the countries, what happens in the countries, it happens in the stage of the world. Narcissism is an epidemic 

Most people fear the most is not the darkness, but the light. In the darkness, they can carry on with all their dirty tricks.

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2017/05/scapegoating.html?m=1

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/search?q=Narcissism+&m=1

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/search?q=Narcissism+is+an+Epidemic&m=1

"To be free to express resentment dating back to early childhood does not mean that one now becomes a resentful person, but rather the exact opposite." Alice Miller

Alice Miller on Child Abuse and Mistreatment at 

http://www.alice-miller.com/index_en.php

Thursday, November 17, 2022

No Job is Worth Health Destruction.

Sylvie,

I understand this has been building for some time and it finally hit a point where you could not tolerate it any longer.   

At first i was surprised it hit that point late in the evening, yet once more reflection it made sense. 

You showed your commitment to E X by the very long time you dealt with the stress. As I have told you before the community all loves you.

Thank you for showing T how to enter the RFID tags into MyQ. I have requested credentials for T From C G.

Yes, I agree one's mental health is the most important thing. You must do what is necessary to take care of and protect yourself. It was at a point where you could not tolerate any more. I understand this.

B
 
B H

EX
FX, Az. Xxxxx

Thank you for understanding

It means a lot to me. 

I will be at EX Tuesday around 9am to show T how to program RFID tags.

RM and his cronies at AXX are very toxic and dangerous people going around acting as if personality pretending to be good people but are wolves in sheep's clothing and unfortunately it's not the first time I have been the target of malignant narcissists or assholes like Mr. RM in the workplace.
 
These type of people don't like honest, authentic and transparent people like me. Once they discover that I'm true and authentic and I'm not like them and once they know that you know of who they really are _-- you become a target they must have to destroy.  

In dysfunctional, toxic and narcissistic groups, friendly empaths are outcasted and scapegoated while predators and bullies are popular and glorified.

The words written in this article below couldn't be more true:

"6 Signs You're Dealing With A Machiavellian & What To Do
Machiavellians generally share the following behaviors and traits:

1. Manipulation Machiavellians lie, cheat, and flatter to get their way. They are long-term planners and calculated strategists, able to read people and to use their fears or weaknesses against them. They will bend rules, trick people, and fake sympathy to gain favors, McIntosh says. 

They can be charming at first but later resort to more aggressive tactics like bullying. Overall, they lack morals and are more than willing to cause harm to get what they want. (Here is how to recognize manipulation, for what it's worth.)


I'm so sorry I was not able to give much notice of my departure but I was at the end of my rope with RM and his cronies at AXX I couldn't take thier emotional harassment one more day. 

They didn't have relieve for me on Saturday and they wanted to force me to work a 12 hour shift when I have been telling them for over a year that I'm burned out and i can't work overtime anymore. 

I guess they don't care about their employees health and well being. 

But isn't interesting how all of the sudden they didn't have trouble finding coverage?!

I hope you understand my mental health is more important. 

Thank you for your support.

Sylvie 



https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/search?q=primal+therapy

"The goal of abusive individual is to gain or maintain power by whatever means possible or else to mask his own incompetence. 

In order to accomplish this, he must get rid of anyone who impedes his progress or sees through him."  

Stalking the Soul: Emotional Abuse and Erosion of Identity by Marie-France Hirigoyen page 71

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2015/02/stalking-soul.html?m=1

This has been my experience in the workplace. Once they learn, I can see through their BS I become their target they must destroy, so they can go on with their lies, illusions, and mind games as usual. But coming after me they end up exposing themselves and eventually they are the ones to self-destruct. Just like my boss at my job of nine and a half years did in 2016. He treated me like a criminal but he was the one to turn out to be the criminal. But now is a big cover-up. If it was me, the little woman to commit a crime my name and face would have been splashed all over the news stations! And then all probably go on TV talking about how disturbed the little woman was -- to discredit me  --and make a name for themselves by standing on my head.

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2017/09/big-cover-up-by-sociopaths-at-my-ex-job.html

“Authoritarian personalities are ones that “kiss above and kick below”, in other words, they are loyal to their leaders, but will attack those of lower rank.  They also protect their “in-group” and attack the “out-group”. Social Dominance Orientation (SDO) personalities, on the other hand, tend to be those who lead the authoritarians, they are more interested in being on top.”

The words above describe exactly my boss for the last almost 4 years.

"What can you do?

Unfortunately, this is a type of personality disorder, and there is little you can do when working for or with this type of person. If you are working for this person long term, you need to leave the organization or company as soon as possible. Their negativity will be extremely stressful and ultimately do damage to your career. 

Do not think you can talk to the person and ask them to consider changing. They do not allow anyone to challenge them, and they despise admitting mistakes. In fact, if you are questioning their decisions or behavior, they have already put a plan in motion to whisper about your own competency or value to the company or organization."   

https://tportis.wordpress.com/2011/01/02/understanding-the-psychology-of-the-kiss-upkick-down-leader/

Very true that's why I worked with the target on my back for so long! I survived almost 4 years working with this kind of boss but finally, I left last week because was starting to affect my physical and mental health. No Job is Worth Health Destruction.


Saturday, November 12, 2022

What People Need Most in Life is Courage

Your wishes of good luck are empty just like every word Mr. M writes sounds very good but are all empty.  

You all know what to write and are very articulate but have no heart and are not authentic....  

This is why Mr. M targeted me because I'm real and authentic -  he likes phony fake people like him... 

Good luck to you all too but have in mind everyone will meet their own destiny sooner or later in one form or another -- there's no escape...

When all your illusions burst I'm glad I will not be around because it will not be pretty

Most important I wish you all courage and strength to get through it when all your illusions burst.

A lot of the times the "helpers" covertly and behind closed doors are the ones creating the chaos, so later they can appear to be the heroes and nice people. The most dangerous terrorists are in board rooms. We live in a world where some very smart people have become masters manipulators at creating big illusions to fool the emotional blind public.

It's Funny and Sad at the Same Time

Good honest workers are pushed out and BS and ass kissers are favored and allowed to get away with murder...

It’s the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.

Mathematicsthis comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience.

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...and it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%?

What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions: If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But, A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5  = 100%

And, B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T

2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G

1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there.

It’s the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.

Now you know why some people are where they are!


Tuesday, November 8, 2022

Who is afraid of Alice Miller?

I found a film online titled who is afraid of Alice Miller? I would say the same people that are Afraid of Sylvie Shene. Because they know we have lanterns and we can shine the light on them and expose them for the fraud that they are -- so they want to do anything in their power to discredit us --  people that have not resolved their own childhood repression --  they are hiding behind pretty seductive theories and intellectual knowledge only -- and they are not real or authentic -- and now they have grown into full-blown malignant narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths, bad players, assholes, or what you like to call now these evil people. I have compassion for the little children they once were but I have little compassion for the monstrous adults they have become. 

These people are trying to stand on Alice Miller’s head to make a name for themselves and make a buck.

In the introduction of the film Who is Afraid of Alice Miller, Martin Miller accuses his mother of telling him that he had become like his father! Well, he did -- that's what happens -- we become just like our childhood abusers -- when we don’t face our internalized childhood abusers and resolve our own childhood repression -- we become just like them... most people are shackled into the chains of repetitive compulsion. AND THIS IS WHY HISTORY ALWAYS KEEPS REPEATING ITSELF. 

The journalists interviewing these people are so annoying emphasizing their degrees and their licenses as psychotherapists to give them credibility. 

Having a degree in psychology and a license to practice psychotherapy means nothing. What matters is to have the courage to resolve our own childhood repression and you don’t get that in an university. Most people in our world lack courage and are a bunch of cowards like the son of Alice Miller that waited for his mother to die to try to stand on her head and make a name for himself. Just like a reviewer of his book wrote: 

"First of all, the fact that this "writer" was able to write a book using all her mother's techniques, indicates very clearly that said techniques actually work.

I am really sorry to hear that this guy had such a difficult life with a traumatized mother who seemed to have lacked the ability to implement her theories with her own son. [Alice Miller could not have implemented her techniques with her own son -- because she developed her techniques later in life -- when her son was already an adult in his thirties. Once we reach adulthood we are responsible for our own healing and Alice Miller with her books gives us the enlightened information to guide us through our own healing] That makes her a flawed and fallible human being, but that doesn't take away the merits of her brilliant writings.

Whatever this guy went through in his own childhood, I am really sorry to hear. But what he is choosing to do with his own pain is a coward and self-serving strategy to make a name for himself by trashing his mother, because he knows very well he doesn't even have 1% of the talent, the courage, the insight, the brilliance that Alice Miller had, both as a healer (since she didn’t like to be called a psychoanalyst) and as a writer." Read more in the link below:

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2022/08/these-are-most-likely-only-two.html?m=1

Most mental health professionals, they just memorize some good knowledge that they use to play mind games and manipulate their subjects.  Alice Miller found that psychoanalysis theory and practice actually, hinder true liberation because it was just another form of what she called poisonous pedagogy. She was so convinced that psychoanalysis was dangerous that she resigned from the psychoanalytical associations she belonged to. 

"I have described the path to my new insights in Pictures of a Childhood (1986), The Untouched Key (1990), Banished Knowledge (1990), and Breaking Dawn the Wall of Silence (1991). In 1988, I officially broke away from psychoanalysis by resigning from the Swiss and the International psychoan­alytical associations. My first three books, originally pub­lished in Germany between 1979 and 1981, mark the beginning of this development, for it was only as I was writ­ing them that I began systematically to explore childhood, including my own. Thanks to my work on those books, to my spontaneous painting, and later to the exploration of my own childhood, I could see what, despite my critical attitude toward the drive theory, had remained concealed from me during the twenty years of my analytical practice. It was not easy to escape from the labyrinth of psychoanalysis. It took me fifteen years to accomplish this liberation process: from 1973, when spontaneous painting allowed me vaguely to sense the truth, until 1988, when I was finally able to artic­ulate it completely." Alice Miller

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2012/08/introduction-to-revised-edition-1995.html

Like I wrote in my book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions pages 129, 131, 132 “…I really want to reinforce the idea that so-called therapists and gurus only substitute one dangerous illusion for another. As Alice Miller writes, “What can happen when a doctor doesn’t stop at self-deception in his flight from pain, but deceives his patients, even founding dogmatic institutions in which further ‘helpers’ are recruited to a faith advertised as scientific ‘truth,’ can be catastrophic.”64 

… Since the beginning of human history, priests, teachers, gurus, psychics, doctors, philosophers, and psychologists have all duped people into thinking they could provide real assistance, when it was never possible because the healers were also victims of their own childhoods. Alice Miller saw the promise of psychotherapy to help people understand why they behave like helpless victims as adults and also to help them take responsibility for their actions. But she was disillusioned when she realized that practitioners couldn’t treat patients effectively as long as they failed to deal with their own repression. 

… It is the major flaw in most human therapies that they are themselves grounded in the fear of the parents and the repressed emotions of traumatic experiences. It’s why therapy so often doesn’t work, and it frustrated Alice Miller and encouraged her to find a new way. “Sometimes for decades on end, clients and analysts remain bogged down in a maze of half-baked concepts,”68 she writes. Whether or not a therapist has been freed of his or her own repression is what will determine the success or failure of a given therapy. Only Alice Miller offers a complete and total solution for our problems because she gets to the root of the matter and frees us from the pain, fear, and anger that, if left untreated, can lead us into a state of depression.”

I have no doubt that Alice Miller's son Martin Miller was the trigger for all of Alice Miller's books. And if he had not been born we would not have had Alice Miller's enlightened books to help us liberate ourselves from the emotional prison of our own childhoods. And I would probably be dead NOW or still living in an emotional prison.  He is just like a double-edged sword.  

Read more in the link below:


Abusive Procedures - Emotional Abuse in the Workplace

"Physical violence can be testified to be outside evidence: eyewitness, police, and medical reports. With emotional abuse, there is no proof. It's a clean violence. Nobody sees anything. Violence and abuse originate in companies when envy of power and perversity collide. The overpoweringly destructive examples of emotional abuse in couples are less likely to be found but, unfortunately, the small abuse of daily living that does exist in businesses are largely trivialized or ignored.

In companies, universities, and institutions, harassing or abusive procedures are more stereotypical than in the private arena. 

They are no less destructive, although the victims are less exposed because they often leave (illness or resignation) in order to survive. 

WHAT IS ABUSE?
By emotional abuse in the workplace, we mean any abusive conduct---whether by words, looks, gestures, or in writing---that infringes upon the personality, the dignity, or the physical or psychical integrity of a person; also, behavior that endangers the employment of said person or degrades the climate of the workplace.

… Businesses, as well as the media, have tended to focus on sexual harassment, which is only one aspect of harassment in the larger sense. This psychological war in the workplace consists of two elements:
. Abuse of power: often quickly revealed and not accepted by the employees

. Emotional manipulation: more insidious and more destructive from the beginning

Emotional abuse and harassment starts harmless enough and spread insidiously. Initially, the people involved are reluctant to take offense and gloss over quarrels and bullying. Later, the attacks multiply and the victim is regularly besieged; he is made to feel inferior and submitted to hostile and degrading maneuvers over a long period. Obviously, one does not drop dead on the spot as a result of these aggressions, but one does lose a part of oneself. One gets home every night worn out, humiliated, and damaged. It’s difficult to recover.

WHO IS TARGETED
Contrary to what their aggressors have others believe, victims are not, at the outset, particularly weak or mentally unhealthy individuals. Quite the opposite: harassment is often set in motion when a victim refuses to give in to a boss’s authoritarian procedures. She is targeted because of her capacity to resist authority, even under pressure. …
…The victim is stigmatized once the process of harassment gets going. They say she’s impossible to work with, has a terrible disposition, or even that she’s crazy. They attribute to her character the consequences of the conflict, forgetting what she was before or what she is now in another context. Pushed to the limit, she often becomes what the employer wants her to become
ISOLATION
Once the decision has been made to psychologically destroy an employee, in order to forestall any possible defense, the person must be isolated by breaking up potential alliances. It’s much more difficult to rebel if you’re alone, especially if you’ve been made to believe that everyone is against you. 
Excerpt from the book 
Stalking the Soul by Marie-France Hirigoyen Chapter about Emotional Abuse in the Work Place

Read about the harassment and emotional abuse I went through at my job of nine and a half years in the links below. 



Also, read the article in the link below:

Monday, November 7, 2022

Blame Shifting

Manipulation is when they blame you for your reaction to their disrespect.

In dysfunctional, toxic and narcissistic groups, friendly empaths are outcasted and scapegoated while predators and bullies are popular and glorified.

Narcissists only surround themselves with people who enable their behavior, ignore their behavior or encourage their behavior. Anyone who tries to hold them accountable will be accused and blamed of the exact things the narcissist is guilty of. And the people who know the truth, will remain silent.

A narcissist paints a picture of themselves as being the victim or innocent in all aspects. They will be offended by the truth. But what is done in the dark will come to light. Time has a way of showing people's true colors." KARLA GRIMES

When someone treats you like crap, just remember it's because there's something wrong with them, not you. Normal people don't go around destroying other people's lives.

When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you.

"The misinformation will feel unfair, but stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth, just like you did." Jill Blakeway

Narcissists cannot ever admit to any wrongdoing. Why would they? In their eyes, they don't ever do anything wrong. They think they don't make mistakes. What they do is blame others. It's called Blame Shifting.

"When the narcissist begins to think that someone will blame them for an action, they go into self-preservation mode and will deflect all blame from themselves and onto someone else. This is where the blame-shifting happens." 

"Narcissists THRIVE on manipulating our emotions to THEIR advantage! We MUST learn this and NEVER take anything they say seriously. They are purposely doing this to provoke us and to get a reaction that creates chaos, drama, and NEGATIVE emotions. Making people feel small, diminished, and on edge makes them feel superior, powerful, and in control of us!" From Greg Zaffuto's book From Charm to Harm and Everything Else in Between with a Narcissist

Pay very close attention to what your narcissist barks at you about Specifically what s/he accuses you of It's the closest thing to a confession you'll get.

"Narcissists will have everyone believing that because you speak up and talk about how they treated you with others, or because you cut contact with them, that you are out for revenge, or holding a grudge. In reality, all you are doing is using boundaries and holding them accountable"

"Holding a narcissist accountable for anything is thoroughly impossible. That's a fact. They will explode, reject, stonewall, deny, blame-shift and lie with absolutely no conscience or remorse. This is not "conflict avoidance." It is a pathological aversion to ACCOUNTABILITY."

"Agreeing to things just to keep the peace is actually a trauma response. When you do this, you're disrespecting your boundaries. No more making yourself uncomfortable for others to feel comfortable. You have control now. You run your life. Take up space and use your voice."

WHY NARCISSISTS WILL NEVER BE HAPPY No matter what type of relationships narcissists seek, they are never happy. They go about their lives seeking something that is not achievable because the ego has created the biggest fog especially for them.

If narcissists should be in a long term relationship, it is only to act as camouflage. Sort of leading a normal life but the lies, the cheating, the fakeness, the selfishness and the hate will always be there.

"WHY DO NARCISSISTS GET MARRIED? The answer is... Narcissists get married because they need a slave, a supply, and a source of gratification. Marriage for a narcissist is just a social license to use their partner as a housemaid, sex partner and a cook. For them, marriage also means a way to insult, blame shift, project their Insecurities on their partner. It is never about love, care or affection; it is all about the user."

The only principle that governs their minds is the question "How do I look?"

Narcissists are trapped in the mind of a two year old, and they possess no cognitive ability to reason, to negotiate, to cooperate, to give and take, to love, to empathize. Rather their lives consist of ultimatums, demands, greed, egocentric thinking, bullying, temper tantrums, silent treatments and a plethora of 'I WANTS' and 'GIVE ME'S'. My way or the highway



Sunday, November 6, 2022

Most Therapies Slides Over to the Realm of the False Self

“Because of his early experiences with his mother, he cannot believe that this need not happen. If he gives way to this fear and adapts himself, the therapy slides over into the realm of the false self, and the true self remains hidden and undeveloped. 

It is therefore extremely important that the therapist not allow his own needs to impel him to formulate connections that the patient himself is discovering with the help of his own feelings. Otherwise, he is in danger of behaving like a friend who brings a good meal to a prisoner in his cell, at the precise moment when that prisoner has the chance to escape --- perhaps to spend his first night hungry and without shelter, but in freedom nevertheless. Since this first step into unknown territory would require a great deal of courage, the prisoner may comfort himself with his food and shelter and thus miss his chance and stay in prison.”

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2012/11/facing-and-feeling-repressed-emotions_29.html?m=1

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2016/02/quotes-from-book-drama-of-gifted-child.html

I Love all Animals


Animals are born innocent and die innocent. We can't say the same for most humans.

Many humans want to destroy me and my only crime also is that I exist and I want to do good in my life.

It's sad we live in a world where authentic real people are harassed, prosecuted and ostracized. and the liars, bullies and cheaters are protected and promoted...



For that scientists would have to find the courage to face their own childhood repression and who wants to do that?! After I published my book I have learned people rather kill or be killed than face their own painful truths...

"When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction." --- Mark Twain

Saturday, November 5, 2022

Non violence does not equal passivity

 A lot of people annoy me because some of the suggestions they give are to repress our true feelings and just to act loving and forgiving, but to get to a place of love and forgiveness we need to feel and express our true feelings responsibly.

Forgiveness is a gift that comes to us naturally at the end of feeling our painful feelings and emotions. There is no need to preach forgiveness; otherwise, forgiveness becomes a lid to keep our pain repressed.

We can’t be afraid to speak up and express how we feel and how we see things. Some of the People that write to me are a great example of how they use spirituality to run from their true painful feelings.

They are too afraid to face and feel the painful truths in their own lives. Repressing our pain and emotions is the root problem of the violence we witness in the world.

Most people live in the illusion that is part of the solution, but because they are still repressed, in reality, they are part of the problem. The article in the link below shows eloquently how spirituality can cement blindness.

http://www.alice-miller.com/en/the-longest-journey/

My experience has been the same as Dr. Alice Miller’s, it has been a very long journey, and it has taken me also all of my life to finally free myself of all the crutches and get two healthy legs to stand on.
If we want to free ourselves we have to face, acknowledge, articulate, and feel our painful truth.

Also, read my blog Spirituality and Religion Are Blinders that Hide the Truth

Abuse of Power

It's so sad that in the 21 century people still are debating if it's ok to spank a child. In the 21 century everyone should know the dangers of spanking children and every person in power should be doing everything to make sure every child is protected from harm. Would we be debating today if slavery of black people or any other race is ok, fortunately is common knowledge that slavery of another race is cruel and ignorant. Why can't human beings see that doing it to children is even more cruel, ignorant and very dangerous?


Hi C,

I am so sorry it took me so long to answer your letter. First I like to congratulate you for your courage to speak up about the abuse you suffer at the hands of a sadistic teacher.

What she did was a crime, but sadly crimes against children still go unrecognized and unpunished by society at large. You say that your parents did nothing to protect you and they themselves were abusive towards you.

Usually, that’s the case, parents lay the ground and make their children vulnerable to abusers, schools and all society’s institutions are very happy to continue the abuse that parents started at home.

Your parents deserve most of your justified anger for abusing you and making you vulnerable to abusers that crossed your path and for not taking any steps to protect you from an extremely abusive sadistic teacher.

I think it’s great that you are using your support group, a safe place, to start speaking up about your abuse and how you feel.

I feel is very important we feel the repressed intense excruciating feelings of the child we once were towards our real abusers and allow those wounds to heal first naturally before we go into the general public seeking justice, because if we are still repressed and wounded we run the risk of feeling victimized all over again by people that act similar and remind us of our childhood abusers triggering our repressed excruciating intense feelings and making us lose our balance and cool when we need it the most to make a stand for ourselves and other children.

Unfortunately, most people in our society in power positions are wounded children themselves and they don’t want to be reminded of the abuse that is why they unconsciously and compulsively worked so hard to be in power over others, so they would not have to face and feel the abuse they suffered at their parents' hands when they were defenseless little children remaining endless scared little children to face and question their own internalized parents and they use unconsciously and compulsively the same tactics to silence others the same way their parents silence them, but if we have resolved our own repression we will be able to keep our composure when we encounter repressed and unconscious people in power positions.

I did not suffer the extreme abuse you suffered. I was hit in the head and hands by teachers and constantly emotionally humiliated in front of the class for not spelling my words correctly and not giving the answers the teachers wanted to hear, but never went to the extreme of them removing my clothes and spanking me in my bare bottom. What happened to you is completely an extreme abuse of power and is also sexual abuse, because I have no doubt the teacher has some type of sexual gratification by putting your pants down and spanking your bare bottom and for sure she should be brought to justice for crimes against children that are the worst crimes against humanity, but society chooses to look the other way.

You say: “My father was also extremely abusive verbally, emotionally and somewhat physically. I am single. I will remain single so as to not infect anyone with my father's genes. I swore his DNA would end with me but my brother and sister have children so...

I will not have children and wouldn't want to do to them what was done to me. I might be a spanker and wouldn't want to have their sexuality corrupted by these abusive spankings. It wasn't/isnt worth the risk. I've read no books and had no special therapy”

I congratulate you for your courage to see what happened to you -- your fear of passing it into others -- is very understandable and I am so sorry you sacrificed getting close to others and your fatherhood.

I too felt the same way as you and I used to say to myself: the pain stops in me, but it does not have to be this way. Genes have nothing to do with it. We can learn to take responsibility for our feelings and resolve our repression and become open to entering into relationships with people that also have become conscious of their own history and taking responsibility for their own repressed feelings and no longer unconsciously and compulsively do into others what once was done to them when they were defenseless little children.

I suggest you read Alice Miller’s books and visit her website

www.alice-miller.com

her books and website helped me resolve my own repression and liberate myself and become a voice for other children.

I wish you courage and strength on your journey to liberation and much success in becoming a strong voice for children still suffering at the hands of ignorant adults.

Sylvie


The Roots of Violence are NOT Unknown

The misled brain and the banned emotions

The Facts:

1. The development of the human brain is use-dependent. The brain develops its structure in the first four years of life, depending on the experiences the environment offers the child. The brain of a child who has mostly loving experiences will develop differently from the brain of a child who has been treated cruelly.

2. Almost all children on our planet are beaten in the first years of their lives. They learn from the start violence, and this lesson is wired into their developing brains. No child is ever born violent. Violence is NOT genetic, it exists because beaten children use, in their adult lives, the lesson that their brains have learned.

3. As beaten children are not allowed to defend themselves, they must suppress their anger and rage against their parents who have humiliated them, killed their inborn empathy, and insulted their dignity. They will take out this rage later, as adults, on scapegoats, mostly on their own children. Deprived of empathy, some of them will direct their anger against themselves (in eating disorders, drug addiction, depression, etc.), or against other adults (in wars, terrorism, delinquency, etc.)

Questions and Answers:

Q: Parents beat their children without a second thought, to make them obedient. Nobody, except a very small minority, protests against this dangerous habit. Why is the logical sequence (from being a misled victim to becoming a misleading perpetrator) totally ignored worldwide? Why have even the Popes, responsible for the moral behavior of many millions of believers, until now never informed them that beating children is a crime?

A: Because almost ALL of us were beaten, and we had to learn very early that these cruel acts were normal, harmless, and even good for us. Nobody ever told us that they were crimes against humanity. The wrong, immoral, and absurd lesson was wired into our developing brains, and this explains the emotional blindness governing our world.

Q: Can we free ourselves from the emotional blindness we developed in childhood?

A: We can – at least to some degree – liberate ourselves from this blindness by daring to feel our repressed emotions, including our fear and forbidden rage against our parents who had often scared us to death for periods of many years, which should have been the most beautiful years of our lives. We can’t retrieve those years. But thanks to facing our truth we can transform ourselves from the children who still live in us full of fear and denial into responsible, well-informed adults who regained their empathy, so early stolen from them. By becoming feeling persons we can no longer deny that beating children is a criminal act that should be forbidden on the whole planet.

Conclusion:

Caring for the emotional needs of our children means more than giving them a happy childhood. It means to enable the brains of the future adults to function in a healthy, rational way, free from perversion and madness. Being forced to learn in childhood that hitting children is a blessing for them is a most absurd, confusing lesson, one with the most dangerous consequences: This lesson as such, together with being cut off from the true emotions, creates the roots of violence.