Thursday, January 31, 2013

Removing the stigma

Yes I HEAR stigma everywhere! One of my missions in life is to help remove the stigma from abortion and put it where it belongs, because if should be stigma somewhere it should be on the people that unconsciously and compulsively coerce, manipulate vulnerable women to bring new life into this world that are in no position to take care of and protect emotionally and physically and because of these unresolved childhood wounds when they grow up put life on this planet in danger.  

“I HEAR stigma everywhere:

“Abortion should be rare”
“Abortion is a tragedy”
“Abortion is only 3% of our budget”
“I am pro-choice but I’d never have an abortion”
“I am not like those other women”
“I don’t believe in abortion as birth control”

You may have heard these statements. You may have said these words yourselves. You may have thought these thoughts.

The reality is, however, that without us there is no choice. Without providers, the right to abortion is just an idea – it is just something on paper that means nothing to women in actuality.

So, what does it take to keep 47 million women and their loved ones silent? You have to spend millions of dollars to shame them – to tell them they are murderers over and over until they believe it themselves. And you must threaten and intimidate and ultimately murder those who provide them this care. For over 35 years abortion providers have been the buffer between the anti-abortion movement and the women who have abortions. We have tried to protect women and shield them from the hostility of the antis as well as provide them with impeccable medical care. This is not working.

To me, eradicating stigma is the single most important thing we can do for abortion rights in this country and it is my life’s work.

I believe my work is to honor women. Making an abortion decision is a time when a woman acts with intention. When she chooses a path for her life and the direction she will travel. I want to NOTICE that moment of acting with intention and hold it up high for the woman to notice and to feel and own as hers. I invite her to experience her life as though she were in charge of it. There are many times in a woman’s life where “life happens to them” and abortion stands out as a time when I can support a woman to be the actor in her own life – the chooser – not a victim but an intentional, deliberate and ethical person choosing what is best for them.”

Also read the excerpt in the link below from the book “"Breaking Down the Wall of Silence: The Liberating Experience of Facing Painful Truth" By Alice Miller

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Uncovering Therapy

“I call therapy “uncovering” if it helps clients to get to know their own suppressed, painful childhood history with the help of reawakened feelings and dreams. Then they no longer fear the dangers that threatened them in childhood but now threaten them no more. These clients stop unconsciously fearing and repeating what happened to them at such a tender age because they know their childhood reality and respond to it with rage and grief in the company of a therapist acting as an empathic witness. They stop treating themselves like nobodies, blaming themselves, harming themselves with all kinds of addictions, because they have now been able to develop empathy for the child that suffered so severely from the parents’ behavior. If in their adult lives they should be threatened by dangers, they will be better equipped to withstand them because they understand their old fears and can assess them for what they were.

This kind of procedure differs crucially from the kinds of treatment that involve practicing new behavior or improving one’s wellbeing (via yoga, meditation, positive thinking, or whatever.) Here the subject of childhood is invariably skirted. Fear of it is ubiquitous in our society. I trace it to the fear felt by the abused children, the fear of the next bow that bound to follow if they should dare to see through their parents’ cruelty.

 Psychoanalytic theory is also grounded in this fear of parents. Sometimes for decades on end, clients and analysts remain bogged down in a maze of half-baked concepts, permanently suffering from guilt feelings because they made it so difficult for their parents to understand their “disturbed” children. In all this, they frequently have no idea that they were in fact severely abused children. Whether therapists will be able to make this knowledge accessible will depend on what they know about their own lives and their first few years.” From the book “Free From Lies: Discovering your true needs” Page 132

Friday, January 18, 2013

The story of lance Armstrong is sad and tragic

The story of Lance Armstrong is sad and tragic and it seems he is going to keep on running. He went to the extreme lengths to win the gold medal by taking drugs, so he could earn the love and admiration from the public and then he became a bully to protect this admiration and this illusion of love and now Oprah is exploiting him to get more ratings, her fix to keep the painful feelings of the child she once was repressed and Lance Armstrong exploiting her to try to fix his image and get the admiration of the public back, they are using each other to run from facing and feel their own repression. When we admire people for who they are, instead of for what they have or do, we will have a better society. We are not the things we have or what we do. If you are the things you have or what you do, one day if you lose all your things and cannot longer do what you do, you are nothing, right? It came to mind this answer Alice Miller gave to one of her readers:

AM: You describe the life of millions of people, brilliant, unconscious, running for the the gold medaille in Vancouver or elsewhere and never feeling their sadness or rage about their parents who couldn't love them as they were. Fortunately, you found access to your feelings and you will lose your symptoms once you can fully face EMOTIONALLY your tragic life, once you become free of wanting to understand them, help them etc. As a child you had no choice, now you have one. You can stop to run.




Friday, January 11, 2013

We live in upside down world

The link below it kind of shows how Steve Jobs reenacted what happened to him by rejecting his daughter the same way he was rejected by his mother that carried him inside her for nine months, and gives birth to him and then gives him away just like a kitten or puppy and he took it out unconsciously and compulsively on others for the betrayal he suffered when he was just an infant and a little boy. 

The saddest thing about Steve Jobs is that he never understood himself and these psychological mechanisms and unconsciously and compulsively reenacted the trauma he suffered when he was just an infant and little boy until the very end of his life by betraying himself and his own body rejected him also, just like his mother did when he was a tiny little baby, causing him to die prematurely. 

It’s very sad that society at large cannot connect the dots and learn from the story of this man that got into the stage of the world and told his true story unconsciously in a symbolic way.  And what really is the saddest is that “pro-lifers” exploit his story to push their agenda.  We really live in an upside-down society! Most people in our society are not interested in the true plight of Steve Jobs and how he suffered. They only admire his successes, his inventions, and all his money, that’s all they care about. 

"In disbelief, one asks oneself:  Is it possible that the people behind such actions really are so clueless?  Do they not know that no less than one hundred percent of all seriously abused children are unwanted?  Do they not know what that can lead to?  Do they not know that mistreatment is a parent’s way of taking revenge on the children they never wanted?  Shouldn’t the authorities do everything in their power, in the light of this information, to see to it that the only children who are born are wanted, planned for, and loved?  If they did, then we could put an end to the creation and continuation of evil in our world.  To force the role of a mother on a woman who does not wish to be a mother is an offense not just against her, but against the whole human community, because the child she brings into the world is likely to take criminal revenge for its birth, as do the many (mis)leaders threatening our lives.  All wars we ever had were the deeds of once unwanted, heinously mistreated children.  It is the right to lived life that we must protect wherever and whenever it is threatened. And it should never be sacrificed to an abstract idea.
Not everyone is capable of thinking in real, concrete terms.  Many seek refuge in religious beliefs.  In their weakness, they place their trust in “relics,” awaiting salvation at the hands of one stronger than themselves.  Anyone who claims to be a strong and knowledgeable authority for such people, and to be acting on their behalf, has the duty to be conscious of the appropriate facts.  If they aren’t, if they ignore or neglect that duty, clamming instead that their palpable lack of information and their abstract conceptions of “life” are sanctioned by God and practiced in the name of humanity, they are acting against life, by misusing the weakness and trust of the faithful and dangerously confusing them.  The injunction against abortion goes even further:  Consciously or unconsciously, it represents support for cruelty against children and active complicity in the creation of unwanted existences, existences that can easily become a liability for the community at large.