Better Alone than in Bad Company

Dear J,

I started responding to your e-mail weeks ago! Let’s see if I can finish it today! :-)

I appreciate all you are trying to do to get my book out there. I feel it that eventually, my book will get all the attention it deserves, but it might be after I’m dead.

It would be nice to see it happening while I’m still alive and be recognized for my hard work, but I also feel that I’m cursed by my childhood experiences of being ignored, not seen or heard.

Would be nice to get the world’s attention to deliver Alice Miller’s enlightening information to the masses, but I personally don’t need the world’s attention! The world has a lot more to gain by paying attention to my story than I have to gain from the world.

No matter what, even if anyone never sees how amazing my story is! It doesn’t change the fact that my story is amazing and I’m so proud of my journey! I have arrived and NOW I have two healthy legs to stand on and not afraid to stand alone! 

I love the simple life I have created for myself.  The less I interact with people the happier I am! 

On my days off from work if I go a day without seeing and talking with people – I’m so happy and peaceful -- I have come to a place that unless people have the courage to be honest and open to exploring their own feelings within the context of their own childhood without making me their scapegoat or poison container -- I just want them to stay away from me and leave me alone – I don’t have time anymore for phony superficial people and cowards.

Pretty much almost everyone I have met so far -- sooner or later thinks it’s okay to make me their scapegoat or poisonous container and I’m tired of people showing me unconsciously and compulsively how they were treated as defenseless little children by treating me the same way -- because in their delusional world they think I’m a nobody and therefore a safe scapegoat or poisonous container for them.

Just like Alice Miller wrote to one of her readers: "Thank you very much for sending us this important quote. We don’t know if it was actually said by Jesus or invented by Mathiew. Both is possible. In any case, to me, it is a pure invitation to hypocrisy and lie, it flies in the face of the laws of life. If as adult you try to love a person who hates and hurt you-you are betraying your body that will suffer because of this. 

Christianity adopted this demand that contradicts with the human nature but it was not invented by it. Since humanity exists children probably were used as poisonous containers. They had to bear whatever adults wanted from them, and, as nobody was allowed to rebel, the new generations repeated what has been done to them. And probably almost all religions helped to cover up this crime and this ignorance concerning the human nature.. They do it still." Read more HERE

Thanks for sharing Sergei Polunin"s video. It’s amazingly beautiful! I think you shared it with me before! :-)

And thank you for being there! I really enjoy reading your e-mails and at least knowing one person in this world that doesn’t try to make me her scapegoat or poisonous container

Hung in there and take good care,

Sylvie

The World is in Big Trouble

You can't teach what you don't have... and from my experience, most people out there are corrupted without authentic values and sure don't appreciate independent thinking, teamwork and don't like people that care about the well-being of everyone. For having these qualities is the reason I lost my job of nine and half years. So all I can say the world is in big trouble! 

Steve Weitzenkorn this guy in the video above is in line with the message in your new book The Catalyst Effect: 12 Skills and Behaviors to Boost Your Impact and Elevate Team Performance. 

Too Invested in Lies and Illusions

Dear S,

Thank you for writing.

I understand you feeling devastated, but it’s the way it is! 

Most people fall into a trap/illusion/bubble and then try to sell it to others. 

I have learned that when people have a lot invested in these traps/illusions/bubbles/lies, etc. --- As he appears to be -- that he even wrote a book promoting these lies/illusions/traps/bubbles -- that is a huge investment --- that will not be easy for him to let go of  -- unless something tragic happens and bursts their illusions/bubbles/traps/lies -- even when tragedy hits them -- still try to hold on to their  illusions/bubbles/traps/lies, because it's too painful for them to face the truth that they deceived themselves and others and they rather die or destroy others than face this painful truth. 

So he might resent my book, but you never know, maybe he will find the courage to question the 12 steps program, but I doubt.

Do what you feel like – it won’t hurt to send him my book -- if he doesn’t send it back  and just throws it way, it’s okay, don’t worry about it, maybe will end up in someone's hands that really is ready to let go of all the lies and illusions and my book will be the support they have been waiting all of their lives, like I once was.

Thank you for sharing with me Pachelbel Canon in D Major - the original and best version in your lasts e-mail -- it was absolutely beautiful!

You said in your e-mail you are hiding. Hiding it’s all I like to do too NOW! If I didn’t have to work to keep a roof over my head I would never leave my little condo and deal with people.

I’m so happy and at peace when not around people! I savor every moment alone!

Hugs from Arizona,

Sylvie

Australia’s Worst Pedophiles Could Get $150,000 Compensation

Great comment by Steve Thomas on the article  Australia’s Worst Pedophiles Could Get $150,000 Compensation he shared on Facebook.

Jan Whitaker Let's not dismiss this out of hand. I think this is about people who were abused as children themselves and then went on to behave the same. Why should they not be compensated?

Steve Thomas For the same reason murderers who were mistreated as children (which amounts to all of them) forfeit any right they had to any sympathy for it. 

Pick your favorite mass murderer and I don't care if it's Stalin or Hitler or Richard Speck. Do you realize what crap those people went through as kids? Do you think they should have been given monetary "redress" for it *after* they killed all those people?

If society wants to acknowledge that child mistreatment is everybody's business, that's great. Because whether people realize it or not, it absolutely is. But the buck has to stop somewhere. 

Predatory adults have no excuse. It's a known fact that most abused children *don't* turn on the rest of us later on. To reward those who do it doesn't just diminish the ones who successfully fought against and surmounted the piles of crap they were handed, it comes *extremely* close to saying that nobody's responsible for their behavior because of determinism. 

My strongly held opinion is that that attitude actually makes sense when applied to children, but somewhere around age 18 or 21, I think it's crucial that the opposite concept of free will be recognized. 

Protection is a legitimate role of government. Paying people who have themselves preyed on children serves no protective function.

It arguably does the opposite.

Sylvie Imelda Shene I'm with you Steve Thomas! I could not agree more with you! I have compassion for the children they once were, but I have no compassion for the adults they have become! As adults, we can use our privilege of being adults to go on a journey to find the help and support we need. As a child, I always said to myself: the pain stops in me and I will never be like them. It has been a long journey for me, it took me over 40 years to find the help and the support I needed, but I broke the circle of repetition compulsion and this is my proudest achievement in life. My experience was the same as Alice Miller: "It has taken me all my life to allow myself to be what I am and to listen to what my inner self is telling me, more and more directly, without waiting for permission from others or currying approval from people symbolizing my parents." 

Steve Thomas The Ghost of Christmas Present quoting Scrooge's words back to him once he had changed his attitude regarding charity.

An Alice Miller line that for some reason made an impact on me was "We put these people in prison because we don't know what else to do with them."

Punishment is actually not just beside the point, it's pointless. I also think that Australian Robin Grille is right in his assessment that the carrot is as poisonous as the stick, that reward is the just same manipulative authoritarianism showing its sweet side. 

Predatory pedophiles belong in jail because we're entitled to protect ourselves and don't know what else to do with them. "Treatment", from what I understand, has so far been close to 100% ineffective. You can argue how long or short sentences ought to be, but money is or at least probably should be useless to people behind bars. 

If somehow Australian experts have inadvertently stumbled onto some kind of crazy magic bullet that eventually shows itself to lower recidivism rates, I'll applaud it. Excuse me if I remain skeptical until then.