Wednesday, June 12, 2013

A list of some of the books I read

Below is a list of some of the books I read, even though they were all a little helpful to help me become aware of how I was affected by my childhood. I now find them to be tinted with manipulations, morality, and poisonous pedagogy and preaching forgiveness which kept me repressed and stuck. I only was able to really liberate myself from the compulsion of reenacting my childhood drama when I focused on Alice Miller’s books and website that I finally was able to break free. To me Alice Miller was IT and I felt I no longer needed to look anymore and now I read others people’s books not looking for answers anymore, but simply out of curiosity to see what other people are saying and I have not found anyone that comes close to the clarity of Alice Miller.

Melody Beattie
“Codependent no more: How to stop controlling others and start caring for yourself” (the first book I read)
“Beyond Codependency: and getting better all the time”

“Codependents Guide to the twelve steps” In this book at the end in references I found the title of the book “Thou Shalt Not Be Aware: Society Betrayal of the Child” By Alice Miller - I had to buy this book because of the subtitle “Society Betrayal of the Child” because growing up, I always felt betrayed by everyone. And that is how I found Alice Miller. I now see the 12 steps programs are a religious cult that keeps people in the state of the child and they don’t help liberate people.

An reviewer of the great book by Ken Ragges “The Real AA: Behind the Myth of 12 Step Recovery” Says it beautifully:

“I am 25 years old and have already belonged to 2 cults (No, I'm not bragging). The first was the Unification Church aka the Moonies, the second was Alcoholics Anonymous. I'll try to explain briefly some of the similarities.

A few years ago I was going through a lot of pain over the breakup of a relationship. I chose to ignore it and drink. I drank pretty heavily for a while, almost every night and almost always till I passed out. I knew that I needed help and was told about AA.

I started going to meetings and was immediately told to get a sponsor, make 90 meetings in 90 days, and to start reading the big book. And once again, just like the Moonie experience, it did work for a while. Until one day I realized that they labeled everything they had ever done wrong as being the result of their diseased alcoholic thinking, even the things they did before they ever picked up a drink!

I started to realize what a B.S. concept it was, to oversimplify every little thing down to this one tiny "fact": that we're alcoholics.

OK, so the resentment I was feeling toward my parents wasn't the result of abuse, but rather an alcoholic character defect, and that as long as I worked the steps, it would go away.

I was also told that if I ever left the program, that I will most likely drink again, and even if I don't I'll just be a miserable dry drunk.

I realized at that moment that this was the exact same thing the Moonies had told me ("if you leave the church you are rejecting the Messiah and will be miserable.") I began seeing the connections.

The Moonies assigned me a "spiritual father" to guide me on the path to serving Moon, AA gave me a "sponsor" to show me how to work the steps.

The Moonies had 1000s of members who always had these phony smiles on their faces and believed that what they were doing was the right thing in Gods eyes and that other religions were wrong, AA had the same thing. The similarities don't stop there, but I think I've said enough.”

“The Language of letting go”

John Bradshaw
“Healing the shame that binds you”
“Home Coming”

Julia Sokol
“He scared, she scared: Understanding the hidden fears that sabotage your relationships”

Jean J. Jensen
“Reclaiming your life: A step by step guide to using regression therapy to overcome the effects of childhood abuse”

Charlie L. Whitfield, MD
“Co-dependency – healing the human condition”
“Healing the child within”

José Stevens, PH.D.
“Transforming your Dragons: How to turn Fear Patterns Into Personal Power”

Gary Zukav
“The seat of the soul”
“The heart of the soul: Emotional Awareness”

M. Scott Peck
“The road less travel”
“Further along the road less travel”
“People Of the lie”

Melody Pia
“ Facing Codependency: what it is, where it comes from, how it sabotages our lives”

Robin Norwwod
“Women who love too much: when you keep whishing and hoping he’ll change”

Susan Forward
“Toxic Parents: overcoming their hurtful legacy and reclaiming your life”

Eckhart Tolle
“The Power of now”

Deepak Chopra
All his books until the book “How to know god”

“The Emotional Incest Syndrome” by Dr. Patricia Love and Jo Robinson

“Silently Seduced: When Parents Make their Children Partners –

Understanding Covert Incest” By Kenneth M. Adms

“The Addictive Personality: Understanding the Addictive Process and Compulsive Behavior” By Craig Nakken

Anne Katherine -- “Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin”

Harriet Lerner – “The Dance of Anger” and ‘The Dance of Intimacy”

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