Very true most people don't leave their jobs, they leave bad bosses and management because of their emotional blindness -- they lost a good employee -- I loved my job! Management that sucked! Quitting was the best thing I did for myself in a very long time! I'm so much better off and not just financially!
3. People Leave Bad Bosses, so Don't Be One [well, they can't help but be who they are. It's people that need to open their eyes to see them for who they really are and not put them in a power position over others]
Denise's third lesson is one that managers everywhere can use. She says, "People don't leave jobs. They leave bosses — specifically, they leave two types of bosses. First type of boss is a toxic boss, a bad boss, somebody who harasses you, micromanages you, maybe ignores you, and gives you the silent treatment.
"The second type of boss, though, that people leave more often than not is a boss that fails to see you. That's a boss who doesn't give you credit, doesn't think about your growth, doesn't think about your development, and doesn't come through with the raise or promotion that they promise over and over again. Those bosses get left all the time. Don't be one of those types of bosses."
7. ”[X person] didn’t mean what they said.”
This essentially translates to: “I hear your complaint, but I am protecting the other person and discrediting you.” Rather than providing support or validating vulnerability, you are gaslighting with the “good guy” defense. [This is exactly what the ladies in HR did. They gaslight me with the "good guy" defense. But the truth will come to the surface sooner or later in one form or another. But in the meantime, they will lose a lot of business and gain a bad reputation.]
[my last boss was one of the most toxic bosses I ever had! Yes, he ignored me, gave me the silent treatment, and never gave me credit for my hard good work. He was even worse than my boss the bank robber! The first time I saw him I knew right away that he was bad news and I should have left right there and then but I stuck around for 4 years working with a target on my back! He knew I knew who he really is and he felt threatened by me so he wanted me out!]
For whatever reason, and bless their little pointed heads, narcissists use bullshit to bulldoze everyone out of their way. Bullshit in the technical sense: Claiming to speak the truth without caring what’s true. Narcissists don’t care what they say. Their words are territorial braying noises that they hope will back you off. But they hope you’ll care. If you’ve got a conscience, they can manipulate it with their words without ever thinking about what their words mean.
We all get narcissistic. What, then, makes someone a narcissist? Decent people know that their narcissistic impulses are a problem they have to manage. Narcissists treat narcissism as the solution to all of their problems. And it works if we let them get away with it. Their mindless bullshitdozing can get so reliable that they seek conflict just so they can relive their triumph, their fake eternal winning streak.
No matter how you react, narcissists have a way of interpreting it as a win for them and a loss for you. If you walk away, you’re a quitter. If you get upset, you’re hypersensitive. If you curse them, you’re impolite. If you reason with them, you’re a sucker. If you get angry, you’re overreacting. Your every predictable response triggers a track off their mindless victory, broken-record soundtrack.
Once you’ve made a careful guess that you’re dealing with a narcissist, stop listening to their words as if they mean them. Concentrate only on relentlessly exposing their mindless mind game. Relentlessly. They’ll try to change the subject. Don’t let them lead you by the nose to the topics where they can win. You have one mission, exposing their bullshitdozing." Read more in the link below
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/jerkology/202212/how-to-outsmart-a-narcissist
[yes, my last boss is full of bullshitdozing! I do my best to expose their bullshidozing!]
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