Money Issues

Thank you for writing.

I hope you are able to let go of the people around you and just focus on developing two healthy legs to stand on. The reality of life is that we must learn to be alone. Leave M alone, she is obsessed with the illusion of money. Money alone is one of the greatest illusions of all time. Money is to serve us and not be a slave to money... right now it seems M is a slave to money... 

Good evening! Thank you very much for the message. It's so real and in fact, the money "blinds" some people to the point of going crazy. In fact, there are people we really need to get away from... They hurt us so badly, they hurt a lot.

I'm so sorry to hear about your difficulties. I'm also sorry you don't have a stable family to give you assistance.

I hope you can find professional assistance to help you...

Yes, it's very important to get away from toxic people family or not family...

It's very sad that M all the time she spent with me and all the enlightened information I shared with her, she didn't apply it to help herself and help her grow into a mature conscious adult.

And find the courage to stand on her own two feet to free herself from the emotional prison she was born in.

But instead uses the enlightened information she got from me to have an advantage in the games people play to feel superior to others and powerful --- and plays mind games with those stuck in an emotional prison with her...

It’s very sad she doesn't find the courage to free herself but instead tries to control everything and everyone around her -- holding tight -- like a drowning person -- not seeing that sooner or later in one form or another, they will all drown together and no amount of money will save them.

Money alone saves no one! We have to find the courage to let go and learn to stand alone on our own two feet...

Glad to hear that in spite of your difficulties, you find the will to live.

Hello, First of all, I am very grateful for the wise words and advice she gave me, as well as the clarifications.  I don't know how or why, but all of a sudden she distorted everything for a long time. And yes, you're right, she plays... I also helped her by giving her advice and strength but that's okay, it's no use…

I’m glad to hear M give you some useful advice. She gathered a lot of intellectual knowledge from me. It's just a shame she has not been able to apply it in her own life when she is triggered. M distorted everything because she is still blind by the unresolved repressed emotions of the child she once was and is not able to consciously feel and understand her emotions within the context of her childhood.

But instead is lost in projections and transferring her emotions into scapegoats like me, MI, and MI's daughter.  Money is M’s biggest trigger because she finds herself entitled to her mother’s money just like MI does.  She is not much different than MI that just wants money! MI, we don’t know what she does with so much money and M just wants to hoard a lot of money in the bank but both have money issues nevertheless! They all have money issues! L included! No matter how much money they have it’s never enough and they always want more like an addict is addicted to heroin, always wants more, never satisfied! 

M if she wanted to be free, she needed to let go of her mother and her money…

Let go of those around you and focus on developing two healthy legs to stand alone…

You might like reading my blogs on how to use our triggers productively!

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2021/10/using-our-triggers-constructively.html

These words Alice Miller wrote to me come truer every day: “Thank you for your thoughtful letter I agree with you that there is a difference between the powerless, legitimate rage of a desperate child that reacts to the cruelty of their parents and the rage of the adult who is attacking others out of denial of their history by imitating the behavior of own parents from the position of "power" (even grandiosity). The first rage (of the child) should be felt and expressed in therapy, it can be then RESOLVED. The second one (of the adult), directed toward scapegoats, can NEVER be resolved (see dictators). If therapists see it as an endpoint of their therapies and don’t enable the patients to confront the early parents and the feelings of that time they do much HARM to them. Staying trapped in the hatred toward scapegoats can't be the successful end of a therapy. I hope that you can continue your work if you have this difference in mind and can also explain it in your forum.”

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2017/05/scapegoating.html

Addiction and greed are the same things.  Greed or addiction means that whatever the object of our affection is, we can never get enough of it.  Addicts live in constant fear of losing the object of their affection and go to any lengths to protect it.  They will lie, cheat, steal, go to war without thinking twice, and exploit others even their own children.  No wonder so many young people are so angry; for when we feel used and exploited we get angry.

What is addiction really?

“Recovery From Self-Betrayal: What is addiction really? It is a sign, a signal, a symptom of distress. It is a language that tells us about a plight that must be understood.

 The drug business would not flourish if there were not so many people who, in refusing to acknowledge their wounds, are in a permanent state of self-betrayal.

Thus, people work to get rid of symptoms instead of searching out the cause.

There are plenty of means to combat symptoms of distress: medications, sermons, numerous "treatments," "miracles," threats, cults, pedagogical indoctrination, and even blackmail.

They can all work for a while, but only because they reinforce the repression and reinforce the fear of resolving it.

However, many people who become abstinent this way are driven into another addiction because the real reasons for becoming addicted must be kept hidden.

A lot of money and fame comes from this business of repression because it satisfies the longing of so many grown-up children: to be loved as a good child (I am blind as you want me to be. I am ready to forget all your cruelty, even at the cost of my life. Can you love me now?).

In the long term, we have to pay a high price for this repression. The repressed story continues to try, again and again, to be heard at long last. Thus your plight will look for other symptoms, another language, until it is taken seriously enough. An addiction is an attempt by a person in despair, who is not allowed to be in despair, to get rid of his or her memory, to forget his or her plight.

Of course, this "solution" is no longer needed if the goal is exactly the opposite, if you want to remember, if you want to feel your plight and to understand its reasons, if you slowly become aware of why you were so afraid of acknowledging the reasons.

This can happen once you decide to stop running away, to stop betraying yourself, to allow the truth to enter your consciousness.

You decide to do so because you finally understand that everything else is useless and because you no longer want to watch your life go by before having even begun to live. You decide to stop betraying yourself because you understand that only you can give yourself the love and care you never received and that you can't do that as long as you deny the truth.” Breaking Down The Wall Of Silence: The Liberating Experience Of Facing Painful Truth by Alice Miller, page 126

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2014/04/addiction-and-greed-is-same-thing.html

Very good text, I thank you very much for sharing. In fact, I don't think they have a cure. It's been many years. I've always believed in M well but it's not really worth it. On top of that, they're hurting others and anyone who helps is still seen as the bad guy and "the crazy ones", there is, the scapegoat

Wishing you peace and serenity and of course, most importantly good health

Yes, they don't have a cure because they lack courage and, therefore, are in constant need of scapegoats to transfer their unresolved repressed emotions to temporarily and superficially alleviate their own childhood repression...Here are a couple of good blogs about transference.

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2022/07/someone-reenacted-his-childhood-drama.html

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2021/11/lost-in-projections-and-transferences.html

Glad you understand this psychological mechanism... I agree our physical and mental health is the most important. Take good care of yourself