Sunday, May 10, 2015

Expressing our Fears

Dear J,

Thank you for writing expressing your fears for me! I feel those fears too! Of course, they are going to try to discredit me, that’s what the property manager and a few residents tried so hard to do at my last job! 

Whatever happens, will not change what I know and even if the law takes their side and goes against me, I will not lose anything and move on! 

I am not dependent on these people like the child I once was on the adults around me. I am just using this experience to try to expose the lies, if it works great and if it doesn’t I will move on. 

When something scares me is when I have to do it! If I had let the fears control me I would never have moved to the United States and I would never have written my book. 

While I was writing the book with my co-writer, I mentioned to him a few times that I might lose my job for writing my book, because it might trigger some people not ready to deal with their on repression and might try to destroy me for reminding them of their own childhood repression, so I was very well aware that this could happen, but it didn’t stop me and I trusted myself that I was strong enough to get through it of whatever my book might trigger. 

Alice Miller would not have written her books too if she had let her fears control her and of course people tried and still try to discredit her, always is going to be people trying to discredit us in order to keep their own lies, illusions, and repression intact, but I am not worried about those people and don’t care about them and what they think of me. 

I care about the people that are in the same place I once was that like to deal with the reality in their lives and can't live with the lies around them, but feel alone and hopefully my book together with Alice Miller’s books be a support and an enlightened witness in their lives.
You asked me if I have had dreams about this. Not really! All the dreams I have are pretty calm, but when I am awake I do worry about losing my present job and every time I get a call from my work my heart drops because I think they are calling me to fire me, but usually is just to talk to me about the schedule!

You asked me if I know what motivates my friends to want to help me. I don’t worry about what motivates other people, but I do worry about what motivates me and be clear to myself and others of my motives. Other people motives are of their concern, not mine, but I hope whatever their motives are they do get to fulfill them and learn and grow from the experience of working with me.
Wish me luck and strength because psychologically I am trying to climb a big mountain, bigger than Mount Everest! That is going to test me psychologically at every level!

Thank you for thinking of me and take good care of yourself,

Dear Sylvie, your latest mail vibrates from pure strength, power, and consciousness within you. I totally agree, that what you do is least as challenging as climbing Mount Everest. You step above the "sick cultural taboo" which had last for centuries and kept people unconscious. Every word you wrote is sincere and honest, essential and thoughtful. I like to read about your "plans" if things won't work out...whatever it will be. If your dreams are calm, there should be no big danger ahead; this is what I think about it. I wish you the very best luck one ever can have, believe me.  With "love" from J

Dear J,

Thank you for writing and for your very encouraging words. I will keep you posted on my temp to climbing to the very top of the biggest mountain ever! When I was 9 or ten years old that I noticed it humanity was so lost that I wished I could get on the highest top ever and scream really loud to humanity and tell them to stop what they were doing because it hurts children and animals! Well, I guess by writing my book I am trying to get to the highest point on earth and scream to people that they are on the path to destruction if they don’t stop what they are doing and change course!


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