Narcissists and Empaths

Both narcissists and empaths suffered childhood trauma. The empaths use their pain and anger to help them grow more compassion for themselves and others, not wanting others to suffer like they once did, while the narcissists allow their pain and anger to drive them to take revenge on scapegoats. Vowing to put themselves first. 

Empaths were strong enough not to let the trauma destroy their soul. While narcissists lack the courage to face and consciously feel their pain and anger within the context of their own childhood, they are weak and a bunch of cowards. 

A narcissist demands that you give up everything, especially your soul, in order to be their nothing 

What’s a dog breeder?

Anyone who uses dogs’ reproduction to make a profit is a breeder. Some may be small-time “backyard” operations, while others could be filthy industrial-sized puppy mills. Regardless of size, every breeder is responsible for exacerbating the overpopulation crisis.

In a time of extreme companion animal overpopulation, breeding dogs is always irresponsible and cruel. Dog breeders treat living individuals as commodities to be genetically manipulated for profit. In this industry, many dogs are kept in crates and cages, where they live alone, never experiencing the affection of a loving family.

How are dog breeders worsening the overpopulation crisis?

There’s no excuse for bringing more puppies into the world. More than 6 million animals end up homeless every year, and half of them must be euthanized because there simply aren’t enough proper homes for them. Every time a dog is bred, more dogs lose the opportunity to have a good life.

Few breeders require the puppies they sell to be spayed or neutered, so they can soon have litters of their own, further exacerbating the overpopulation crisis. Just one unaltered female dog and her offspring can produce 67,000 puppies in only six years.

Breeders don’t see dogs as individuals with personalities and specific needs—they just see dollar signs. When fleeting trends arise around particular breeds, such as the craze for huskies fueled by HBO’s Game of Thrones, dog breeders pump out dogs just to satisfy humans’ most recent whim. The pet trade encourages the public to view animals as impulse purchases, no different from fashion accessories or home decor, rather than as thinking, feeling beings who deserve love, respect, and a lifetime commitment.

Many other unwanted animals—who are abandoned but never make it into a shelter—suffer and die after being hit by cars or attacked by other animals, succumbing to disease or the elements, or enduring other awful fates.

Are dog breeders always bad news?

When millions of dogs must die every year because no one will adopt them, breeding a dog even once is unethical. Instead, guardians should be having their animal companions spayed or neutered.

Let go of the Reins of Control if You Want to Save Yourself

 I. has to understand that the old tactics she used with L to get money no longer work because C won't let that happen. 

I. has to let L and her money go. L doesn't care about her. L. and I. are at different ends of the same stick. There are Fxcked up people with money on one end and there are Fxcked people without money on the other end, but both are Fxcked up nevertheless, the only difference is one has money and the other doesn’t. 

Have no doubts if I. was better off financially instead of C. L would be at I's house running away from her daughter. For L, money, status symbols, and being around people with financial success is what is most important to her, no matter if they have a heart or not! 

If I. wants to save herself, she has to let L. and her money go and let go of the reins of control and leave everything behind. And start mourning all the things lost and what could have been but never was. 

Even if I. could get money from L. would just buy her more time. She has to face the inevitable and the sooner the better. 

Her health issues are caused by the pressure from all that she has been repressing all of her life and running from facing and feeling the painful truths in her life. 

The moment she lets go of the reins of control and lets everything go her health will improve. 

The words below by Alice Miller are so true. The body never lies, It sticks to the facts.

“Inability to face up to the suffering undergone in childhood can be observed both in the form of religious obedience and in cynicism, irony, and other forms of self-alienation frequently masquerading as philosophy or literature.  But ultimately the body will rebel. Even if it can be temporarily pacified with the help of drugs, nicotine, or medicine, it usually has the last word, because it is quicker to see through self-deception than the mind, particularly if the mind has been trained to function as an alienated self. We may ignore or deride the messages of the body, but its rebellion demands to be heeded because its language is the authentic expression of our true selves and of the strength of our vitality.” From the book “The Body Never Lies: The Lingering Effects of Hurtful Parenting” by Alice Miller

Another truthful quote by Alice Miller comes to mind: “Children who have been beaten, humiliated, and abused, and who find no witness to come to their aid often develop a grave syndrome in later life: they have no knowledge of their true feelings, fear them like the plague, and are therefore incapable of recognizing vital connections.” — Alice Miller

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2022/05/swords-and-knives-review-of-alice.html

Unfortunately having children is how many people unconsciously deal with childhood traumas. That's how many people get to live long lives by making the vulnerable feel what they themselves can't feel. These words by Alice Miller come to mind: " Individuals who believe that they feel what they ought to feel and constantly do their best not to feel what they forbid themselves to feel will ultimately fall ill---unless, that is, they leave it to their children to pick up the check by projections onto them the emotions they cannot admit to themselves." 

Most People’s Love is Nothing But a Farce, a Sham, and a Façade

Just like Alice Miller wrote in the introduction of her book The Body Never Lies “ As long as the children allow themselves to be used in this way, it is entirely possible to live to be one hundred without any awareness of one’s personal truth and without any illness ensuing from this protracted form of self-deception. A mother who is forced to realize that the deprivations imposed on her in her youth make it impossible for her to love a child of her own, however hard she may try, can certainly expect to be accused of immorality if she has the courage to put that truth into words. But I believe that it is precisely this explicit acceptance of her true feelings, independent of the claims of morality, that will enable her to give both herself and her children the honest and sincere kind of support they need most, and at the same time will allow her to free herself from the shackles of self-deception.” 

Maybe one of the secrets to living a long life is to be disconnected from one’s own truth and feelings, but it’s done at the expense of others and the next generations. When I was a kid I used to say to myself: the pain stops with me and I was willing to die than passing it into an innocent being. I much prefer resolving my own childhood repression to have a chance of living a long life than living a long life at the expense of others. 

These words by Alice Miller also come to mind: 

Deception Kills Love

"Only unflinching realization of one’s own past reality, of what really happened can break through the chain of abuse. If I know and can feel what my parents did to me when I was totally defenseless, I no longer need victims to befog my awareness. I no longer need to reenact what happened to me with the help of innocent people because now I KNOW what happened. And if I want to live my life consciously, without exploiting others, then I must actively accept that knowledge.

A

m I saying that forgiveness for crimes done to a child is not only ineffective but actively harmful? Yes, that is precisely what I am saying. The body does not understand moral precepts. It fights against the denial of genuine emotions and for the admission of the truth to our conscious minds. This is something the child cannot afford to do, it has to deceive itself and turn a blind eye to the parents’ crimes in order to survive. Adults no longer need to do this, but if they do, the price they pay is high. Either they ruin their own health or they make others pay the price – their children, their patients, the people who work for them, etc."

 

Violence is an Illusion or a Trap

Violence is an Illusion or a trap and you will never find or maintain freedom through violence but it doesn't mean we give up working towards liberating ourselves and staying free. 

Most people's objective in life is not freedom for themselves and others. Most people's objective in life is to one day own their own slaves. They work very hard to get into positions of power over others so they can suppress others the same way they once were suppressed. Most people are unconscious and compulsively looking for scapegoats to take revenge for the wrongs done to them...

"Sadism is not an infectious disease that strikes a person all of a sudden. It has a long prehistory in childhood and always originates in the desperate fantasies of a child who is searching for a way out of a hopeless situation."
 http://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2011/01/unlived-anger.html

Pretty much no matter where we live there is half of the people who try to suppress the other half to a degree, either with manipulation tactics or violence. 

People can be right about a lot of things but the moment they resort to violence to make a point or bring attention to their cause by killing innocent beings -- they lose the argument completely -- even if they were right at first in a lot of things. 

People and countries have the right to defend themselves when attacked, but they need to be careful not to let themselves be blinded by hatred and pain, they need to take all the precautions to protect the innocent on both sides. 

No one can liberate us but ourselves, so when people scream; Free Palestine or Free Britney Spears, they are just making a bunch of noise because no one can free Britney Spears from her emotional prison but herself. 

All of my life I have been surrounded by people trying to suppress me and it took me over 40 years to liberate myself. 

Since my personal liberation, I have been the target of three psychological warfare in the workplace but if I had resorted to violence to get justice I would not be here today! They want to bring me back into an emotional prison but a mind that is truly free can never be captured again, they can kill me, but my mind dies free!

The words below by John Lennon could not be truer. The sociopaths at my job of nine and half years were hoping I would react to their lies, mind games, and smear campaign and I would become violent in some form. The system is thirsty for blood, but I don't play their game.

"When it gets down to having to use violence, then you are playing the system's game. The establishment will irritate you - pull your beard, flick your face - to make you fight. Because once they've got you violent, then they know how to handle you. The only thing they don't know how to handle is non-violence and humor." John Lennon

"Children who are told the truth and are not brought up to tolerate lies and cruelty can develop as freely as a plant whose roots have not been attacked by pests (in our case, lies)" Alice Miller 

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2020/02/telling-children-truth.html

Lies are the fuel that creates wars. And religion is one of the biggest lies ever! 

“If you were born in Israel, you’d probably be Jewish. If you were born in Saudi Arabia, you’d probably be a Muslim.  If you were born in India, you’d be Hindu. But because you were born in North America, you’re probably a Christian.  Your faith is not inspired by some divine, constant truth, it’s simply geography.”

"Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the politicians helpful."

Religion is an emotional prison that keeps people chained with invisible reins of guilt, shame, and fear. In different parts of the world the prison of religion has different names and gods and in some parts of the world some religions/prisons, might treat you a little better and give you the illusion you have freedom because it gives you longer reins and more room to roam, but still in prison nevertheless. I have removed the invisible reins of guilt, shame, and fear and broke free completely from the prison of religion.

https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2013/02/religion-is-emotional-prison.html

The Roots of Violence are NOT Unknown

The misled brain and the banned emotions

The Facts:

1. The development of the human brain is use-dependent. The brain develops its structure in the first four years of life, depending on the experiences the environment offers the child. The brain of a child who has mostly loving experiences will develop differently from the brain of a child who has been treated cruelly.

2. Almost all children on our planet are beaten in the first years of their lives. They learn from the start violence, and this lesson is wired into their developing brains. No child is ever born violent. Violence is NOT genetic, it exists because beaten children use, in their adult lives, the lesson that their brains have learned.

3. As beaten children are not allowed to defend themselves, they must suppress their anger and rage against their parents who have humiliated them, killed their inborn empathy, and insulted their dignity. They will take out this rage later, as adults, on scapegoats, mostly on their own children. Deprived of empathy, some of them will direct their anger against themselves (in eating disorders, drug addiction, depression etc.), or against other adults (in wars, terrorism, delinquency etc.)
 
Questions and Answers:

Q: Parents beat their children without a second thought, to make them obedient. Nobody, except a very small minority, protests against this dangerous habit. Why is the logical sequence (from being a misled victim to becoming a misleading perpetrator) totally ignored world-wide? Why have even the Popes, responsible for the moral behaviour of many millions of believers, until now never informed them that beating children is a crime?

A: Because almost ALL of us were beaten, and we had to learn very early that these cruel acts were normal, harmless, and even good for us. Nobody ever told us that they were crimes against humanity. The wrong, immoral, and absurd lesson was wired into our developing brains, and this explains the emotional blindness governing our world.

Q: Can we free ourselves from the emotional blindness we developed in childhood?

A: We can - at least to some degree - liberate ourselves from this blindness by daring to feel our repressed emotions, including our fear and forbidden rage against our parents who had often scared us to death for periods of many years, which should have been the most beautiful years of our lives. We can't retrieve those years. But thanks to facing our truth we can transform ourselves from the children who still live in us full of fear and denial into responsible, well-informed adults who regained their empathy, so early stolen from them. By becoming feeling persons we can no longer deny that beating children is a criminal act that should be forbidden on the whole planet.

Conclusion:

Caring for the emotional needs of our children means more than giving them a happy childhood. It means to enable the brains of the future adults to function in a healthy, rational way, free from perversion and madness. Being forced to learn in childhood that hitting children is a blessing for them is a most absurd, confusing lesson, one with the most dangerous consequences: This lesson as such, together with being cut off from the true emotions, creates the roots of violence.  Alice Miller

Asshole Factory

I agree with Bill Maher that going to college can be a total waste of time and money. 

"I wonder how the high colleges managed to produce so many high asses." Paracelsus

As long people's childhood repression goes unresolved -- they will be shackled into the chains of compulsion  repetition -- and it doesn't matter how well anyone articulates very nice ideas... The problem is not lack of knowledge and educated people, there are plenty of educated people with intellectual knowledge, the problem is an emotional blockage with the so-called “professionals” or “educated people” hiding behind their rationalizations and seductive theories to protect themselves from having to face and feel their own emotional pain.  It takes courage to see, face and feel our painful truths, intelligence alone is not enough; but it rather helps create seductive, rationalizations, theories, illusions, and lies. 

Alice Miller explains beautifully  in her book For Your Own Good: hidden cruelty in child-rearing and the roots of violence page 42 and 43: "Just as in the symbiosis of the "diaper stage," there is no separation here of subject and object. If the child learns to view corporal punishment as "a necessary measure" against "wrongdoers," then as an adult he will attempt to protect himself from punishment by being obedient and will not hesitate to cooperate with the penal system. In a totalitarian state, which is a mirror of his upbringing, this citizen can also carry out any form of torture or persecution without having a guilty conscience. His "will" is completely identical with that of the government.

Now that we have seen how easy it is for intellectuals in a dictatorship to be corrupted, it would be a vestige of aristocratic snobbery to think that only "the uneducated masses" are susceptible to propaganda. Both Hitler and Stalin had a surprisingly large number of enthusiastic followers among intellectuals. Our capacity to resist has nothing to do with our intelligence but with the degree of access to our true self. Indeed, intelligence is capable of innumerable rationalizations when it comes to the matter of adaptation. 

Educators have always known this and have exploited it for their own purposes, as the following proverb suggests: "The clever person gives in, the stupid one balks." For example, we read in a work on child raising by Grünwald (1899): "I have never yet found willfulness in an intellectually advanced or exceptionally gifted child" (quoted in Rutschky). Such a child can, in later life, exhibit extraordinary acuity in criticizing the ideologies of his opponents--and in puberty even the views by his own parents-- because in these cases his intellectual powers can function without impairment. Only within a group--such as one consisting of adherents of an ideology or a theoretical school--that represents the early family situation will this person on occasion still display a naïve submissiveness and uncritical attitude that completely believe his brilliance in other situations. Here, tragically, his early dependence upon tyrannical parents is preserved, a dependence that--in keeping with the program of "poisonous pedagogy"--goes undetected. This explains why Martin Heidegger, for example, who had no trouble in breaking with traditional philosophy and leaving behind the teachers of his adolescence, was not able to see the contradictions in Hitler's ideology that should have been obvious to someone of his intelligence. He responded to this ideology with an infantile fascination and devotion that brooked no criticism.”

Peter Hitchens Storms Out of Interview

Obviously, Peter Hitchens is stuck in childhood, pretending to be grown up, and can't have a real adult conversation or debate. Unfortunately, the world is full of people acting as if personalities pretending to be all grown up but are stuck in childhood, without realizing it, unconsciously and compulsively reenacting their childhood dramas.

Alex O'conner should read my book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions and invite me to his podcast. It will be entertaining and enlightening. He should take the risk with me! I would not storm out of the interview! He would not regret it. 

Making drugs illegal causes more problems than solutions.

Mental illness is not caused by drugs but by the repressed emotions. People take drugs to self-medicate.

De Ultimate Question

Dear J,

Thanks for the link, but the question NOW is how we get human beings to face and consciously feel their repressed emotions – to move through their repressed emotions -- and free themselves from the emotional prison of their own childhood. 

As long as people’s emotions remain repressed they will be driven by them into compulsion repetition no matter how much we teach about the importance of respecting babies and children.

When people resolve childhood repression and are free from the emotional prison of their own childhood -- are incapable of exploiting anyone and the environment -- they will not hurt themselves or others and they will respect all beings, small and big. 

The conversation about the effects of childhood repression in our society needs to start happening in the stage of the world, sooner rather than later, if we want to save ourselves and humanity from falling off the cliff and committing mass suicide.  

Everyone is trying to change the world at the surface, especially so many people using the political machine and religion to manipulate the masses, making things worse in the long run, and no one wants to look at the root causes of how we got here?! Into this messed-up world! It’s very frustrating because trying to change the world at the surface, no matter what people do, the changes will always just be superficial and temporary. All I witness people doing is making a bunch of noise. 

That's why I wrote my book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions to show people how I liberated myself and be a support to others that still are in the same place I once was. 

These words by Alice Miller that I quote in my book could not be truer:

“It is not true that evil, destructiveness,
and perversion inevitably form part of
human existence, no matter how often this
is maintained. But it is true that we are
daily producing more evil and, with it, an
ocean of suffering for millions that is
absolutely avoidable. When one day the
ignorance arising from childhood
repression is eliminated and humanity
has awakened, an end can be put to the
production of evil.”
— Alice Miller, Banished Knowledge, p. 143

Be kind to yourself and take good care,
Sylvie