Better Alone than in Bad Company

Dear J,

I started responding to your e-mail weeks ago! Let’s see if I can finish it today! :-)

I appreciate all you are trying to do to get my book out there. I feel it that eventually, my book will get all the attention it deserves, but it might be after I’m dead.

It would be nice to see it happening while I’m still alive and be recognized for my hard work, but I also feel that I’m cursed by my childhood experiences of being ignored, not seen or heard.

Would be nice to get the world’s attention to deliver Alice Miller’s enlightening information to the masses, but I personally don’t need the world’s attention! The world has a lot more to gain by paying attention to my story than I have to gain from the world.

No matter what, even if anyone never sees how amazing my story is! It doesn’t change the fact that my story is amazing and I’m so proud of my journey! I have arrived and NOW I have two healthy legs to stand on and not afraid to stand alone! 

I love the simple life I have created for myself.  The less I interact with people the happier I am! 

On my days off from work if I go a day without seeing and talking with people – I’m so happy and peaceful -- I have come to a place that unless people have the courage to be honest and open to exploring their own feelings within the context of their own childhood without making me their scapegoat or poison container -- I just want them to stay away from me and leave me alone – I don’t have time anymore for phony superficial people and cowards.

Pretty much almost everyone I have met so far -- sooner or later thinks it’s okay to make me their scapegoat or poisonous container and I’m tired of people showing me unconsciously and compulsively how they were treated as defenseless little children by treating me the same way -- because in their delusional world they think I’m a nobody and therefore a safe scapegoat or poisonous container for them.

Just like Alice Miller wrote to one of her readers: "Thank you very much for sending us this important quote. We don’t know if it was actually said by Jesus or invented by Mathiew. Both is possible. In any case, to me, it is a pure invitation to hypocrisy and lie, it flies in the face of the laws of life. If as adult you try to love a person who hates and hurt you-you are betraying your body that will suffer because of this. 

Christianity adopted this demand that contradicts with the human nature but it was not invented by it. Since humanity exists children probably were used as poisonous containers. They had to bear whatever adults wanted from them, and, as nobody was allowed to rebel, the new generations repeated what has been done to them. And probably almost all religions helped to cover up this crime and this ignorance concerning the human nature.. They do it still." Read more HERE

Thanks for sharing Sergei Polunin"s video. It’s amazingly beautiful! I think you shared it with me before! :-)

And thank you for being there! I really enjoy reading your e-mails and at least knowing one person in this world that doesn’t try to make me her scapegoat or poisonous container

Hung in there and take good care,

Sylvie

The World is in Big Trouble

You can't teach what you don't have... and from my experience, most people out there are corrupted without authentic values and sure don't appreciate independent thinking, teamwork and don't like people that care about the well-being of everyone. For having these qualities is the reason I lost my job of nine and half years. So all I can say the world is in big trouble! 

Steve Weitzenkorn this guy in the video above is in line with the message in your new book The Catalyst Effect: 12 Skills and Behaviors to Boost Your Impact and Elevate Team Performance. 

Too Invested in Lies and Illusions

Dear S,

Thank you for writing.

I understand you feeling devastated, but it’s the way it is! 

Most people fall into a trap/illusion/bubble and then try to sell it to others. 

I have learned that when people have a lot invested in these traps/illusions/bubbles/lies, etc. --- As he appears to be -- that he even wrote a book promoting these lies/illusions/traps/bubbles -- that is a huge investment --- that will not be easy for him to let go of  -- unless something tragic happens and bursts their illusions/bubbles/traps/lies -- even when tragedy hits them -- still try to hold on to their  illusions/bubbles/traps/lies, because it's too painful for them to face the truth that they deceived themselves and others and they rather die or destroy others than face this painful truth. 

So he might resent my book, but you never know, maybe he will find the courage to question the 12 steps program, but I doubt.

Do what you feel like – it won’t hurt to send him my book -- if he doesn’t send it back  and just throws it way, it’s okay, don’t worry about it, maybe will end up in someone's hands that really is ready to let go of all the lies and illusions and my book will be the support they have been waiting all of their lives, like I once was.

Thank you for sharing with me Pachelbel Canon in D Major - the original and best version in your lasts e-mail -- it was absolutely beautiful!

You said in your e-mail you are hiding. Hiding it’s all I like to do too NOW! If I didn’t have to work to keep a roof over my head I would never leave my little condo and deal with people.

I’m so happy and at peace when not around people! I savor every moment alone!

Hugs from Arizona,

Sylvie

Australia’s Worst Pedophiles Could Get $150,000 Compensation

Great comment by Steve Thomas on the article  Australia’s Worst Pedophiles Could Get $150,000 Compensation he shared on Facebook.

Jan Whitaker Let's not dismiss this out of hand. I think this is about people who were abused as children themselves and then went on to behave the same. Why should they not be compensated?

Steve Thomas For the same reason murderers who were mistreated as children (which amounts to all of them) forfeit any right they had to any sympathy for it. 

Pick your favorite mass murderer and I don't care if it's Stalin or Hitler or Richard Speck. Do you realize what crap those people went through as kids? Do you think they should have been given monetary "redress" for it *after* they killed all those people?

If society wants to acknowledge that child mistreatment is everybody's business, that's great. Because whether people realize it or not, it absolutely is. But the buck has to stop somewhere. 

Predatory adults have no excuse. It's a known fact that most abused children *don't* turn on the rest of us later on. To reward those who do it doesn't just diminish the ones who successfully fought against and surmounted the piles of crap they were handed, it comes *extremely* close to saying that nobody's responsible for their behavior because of determinism. 

My strongly held opinion is that that attitude actually makes sense when applied to children, but somewhere around age 18 or 21, I think it's crucial that the opposite concept of free will be recognized. 

Protection is a legitimate role of government. Paying people who have themselves preyed on children serves no protective function.

It arguably does the opposite.

Sylvie Imelda Shene I'm with you Steve Thomas! I could not agree more with you! I have compassion for the children they once were, but I have no compassion for the adults they have become! As adults, we can use our privilege of being adults to go on a journey to find the help and support we need. As a child, I always said to myself: the pain stops in me and I will never be like them. It has been a long journey for me, it took me over 40 years to find the help and the support I needed, but I broke the circle of repetition compulsion and this is my proudest achievement in life. My experience was the same as Alice Miller: "It has taken me all my life to allow myself to be what I am and to listen to what my inner self is telling me, more and more directly, without waiting for permission from others or currying approval from people symbolizing my parents." 

Steve Thomas The Ghost of Christmas Present quoting Scrooge's words back to him once he had changed his attitude regarding charity.

An Alice Miller line that for some reason made an impact on me was "We put these people in prison because we don't know what else to do with them."

Punishment is actually not just beside the point, it's pointless. I also think that Australian Robin Grille is right in his assessment that the carrot is as poisonous as the stick, that reward is the just same manipulative authoritarianism showing its sweet side. 

Predatory pedophiles belong in jail because we're entitled to protect ourselves and don't know what else to do with them. "Treatment", from what I understand, has so far been close to 100% ineffective. You can argue how long or short sentences ought to be, but money is or at least probably should be useless to people behind bars. 

If somehow Australian experts have inadvertently stumbled onto some kind of crazy magic bullet that eventually shows itself to lower recidivism rates, I'll applaud it. Excuse me if I remain skeptical until then.

If You Question it if You Are a sociopath – Then Most Likely You Are Not!

Dear H,

Thank you for writing.

“I would wish, that this woman does better than me. That she will look at her own truth. If she is like me, be glad, that she run away...”

Every day I thank the stars that she runs away, because if she lacks the courage to consciously face and feel her emotions within the context of her own childhood. I’m better off she runs -- otherwise sooner or later would make me her poison container or scapegoat. And she was starting to do it -- if I didn't make my boundaries clear to her --- of what I would tolerate and what I would not tolerate.

If it’s true she read my book again and the words she wrote are authentic --- maybe she is not a full blown sociopath --- and maybe down the road when she feels -- it’s safe for me to be around her without making me her poison container or scapegoat -- then we can spend time together again.

The fact you question it -- if you might be a sociopath -- it means you are not--- you don’t go out of your way to hurt people intentionally, right?! 

So you are not a sociopath. It’s normal sometimes to feel hateful feelings towards some people that disappoint us in the present moment and triggers the repressed pain -- if not yet worked through – or for reminding us of the pain we suffered as a child, but if we don’t go out of our way and take actions to deliberately hurt people, then we are not sociopaths or malignant narcissists. 

Remember thoughts and feelings don’t hurt people – actions hurt people.  

Sociopaths or malignant narcissists go out of their way to hurt people and take pleasure in destroying lives and see people hurting. 

Hurting and destroying others’ lives is their painkilling drug. It's an addiction that keeps their own childhood repression intact.

I agree! Alice Miller is the only person I know with the courage to go to the bottom of our repression to retrieve the real key that really opens the door to true liberation and everyone else out there is just selling an illusion.

If you think talking with me might help you see clearly if taken the new job offer would be a good move for you and a risk you can afford to take --- we can try to schedule a time to talk via Skype if you like.

“most of the therapists assume, that there is a kind of a core or a center, within us, which is our pilot, our healer etc. but this might be not true, not in that easy way: just to connect with that force and using it as a basis...”

No, I don’t think is true either, if a person’s spirit was completely murdered in childhood. These people don’t have an inner center or pilot to trigger their healing and as adults can become very dangerous people.  But I don’t think it’s your case dough. I feel there is a lot of spirit left in you to trigger your own healing and with courage and the right support you can liberate yourself from your childhood emotional prison.

Hang in there and take good care.

Much love,

Sylvie

My response to a Portuguese troll

The USA is not the best place of all and right now we have the worst person EVER representing this country! And I’m really sorry for that, but the truth be told: in the good old USA you can find anything you want: the good, the ugly, the best and the worse, so whatever you are looking for you will find it here -- and you can be whatever you want! 

I’m very proud of the person this country has allowed me to become. I have dealt with enough ignorant assholes in this country, like the one we have in the #WhiteHouse right now, but also I have found the support and the truth that can set one free. 

I’m very grateful to the USA for this great opportunity that I know without a doubt I would never have gotten in Portugal. In Portugal all I ever found was mediocrity, ignorance, and abuse and I don’t expect anything less from you here!
https://www.facebook.com/Publico/posts/10156084343051983?comment_id=10156090313131983&notif_id=1516044396393306&notif_t=feedback_reaction_generic&pnref=story

The Narcissist Punishment is Living all of their Lives and Dying in an Emotional Prison.

Yes, the narcissist punishment is living all of their lives and dying in an emotional prison.

"You can’t concentrate on external things and status symbols and be happy. You can’t be happy and abusive at the same time. You can’t mistreat and manipulate others and be happy. That’s not what real happiness is about.

Real happiness comes from within, from a strong sense of self, from growing as a human being, from being a decent person. So if your core self is rotten, if you are severely disconnected, if you are not growing, and if you are a hurtful person, it’s impossible to be genuinely happy. The best you can do is desperately manage your shaky and skewed false self.

So what’s a malignant narcissist’s punishment? It’s their existence. It’s their inner prison. It’s waking up every day into their life that—despite possessions, power, and status symbols that they may have—they hate deep down. And then one day they die, and it’s all over. That’s the sad reality of a wasted and miserable life. And that’s their natural punishment." Read more at the link below:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/psychology-self/2017/12/narcissists-punishment#1

This is my ex and all the sociopaths' at my job of nine and half years punishment. All the money in this world cannot save them! This is why they were so jealous and envious of me and they came after me so viciously --- trying to destroy me and rob me of my freedom -- what I have cannot be bought with money and can't be stolen and they couldn't stand it --- I'm free -- and I'm staying free! Despite all their money --- they are living and dying in an emotional prison! I know it's killing them with jealousy and envy, especially the property manager Pam P.

To read more about my experiences with the mob of sociopaths or narcissists at my job of nine and a half years read my blog Experienced Knowledge