Saturday, February 7, 2015

Emotional Abuse in the Workplace

Hi T,

I hope you are having a good weekend.
I can’t sleep much and I am running on adrenaline, so I apologize for my poor English, I have difficulty with the written language, but it gets worse if I am nervous.
From reading in the book Stalking the Soul by Marie-France Hirigoyen in the chapter about Emotional Abuse in the Work Place. Everything she says is exactly what’s happening to me right now. Below is a little excerpt from the book where the author articulates exactly what I am going through right now at work.

Emotional Abuse in the Workplace

"Physical violence can be testified to be outside evidence: eyewitness, police and medical reports. With emotional abuse, there is no proof. It's a clean violence. Nobody sees anything. 
Violence and abuse originate in companies when envy of power and perversity collide. The over overpoweringly destructive examples of emotional abuse in couples are less likely to be found but, unfortunately, the small abuse of daily living that do exist in businesses are largely trivialized or ignored.
In companies, universities, and institutions, harassing or abusive procedures are more stereotypical than in the private arena. (P’s jealousy was triggered by my book and got mad at me for sending an e-mail about the p's incidents to all the Rs in my e-mail list and in retaliation, she and the board manipulated by her created the P's abusive procedure to punish me to put me in my place to show me who is the bigger girl. But then I came up with a system that is efficient and works and I proved to them their system was flawed and was created only to punish me and to set me up for failure.  If you have time you might like reading my blog entry of January, 25, They are Allergic to my Aliveness.

They are no less destructive, although the victims are less exposed because they often leave (illness or resignation) in order to survive. (This is what they were hoping I would do)
WHAT IS ABUSE?
By emotional abuse in the workplace, we mean any abusive conduct---whether by words, looks, gestures, or in writing---that infringes upon the personality, the dignity, or the physical or psychical integrity of a person; also, behavior that endangers the employment of said person or degrades the climate of the workplace.

…Business, as well as the media, have tended to focus on sexual harassment, which is only one aspect of harassment in the larger sense. This psychological war in the workplace consists of two elements:
. Abuse of power: often quickly revealed and not accepted by the employees

. Emotional manipulation: more insidious and more destructive from the beginning

Emotional abuse and harassment starts harmless enough and spread insidiously. Initially, the people involved are reluctant to take offense and gloss over quarrels and bullying. Later, the attacks multiply and the victim is regularly besieged; he is made to feel inferior and submitted to hostile and degrading maneuvers over a long period.
Obvious, one does not drop dead on the spot as a result of these aggressions, but one does lose a part of oneself. One gets home every night worn out, humiliated, and damaged. It’s difficult to recover.

WHO IS TARGETED
Contrary to what their aggressors have others believe, victims are not, at the outset, particularly weak or mentally unhealthy individuals. Quite the opposite: harassment is often set in motion when a victim refuses to give in to a boss’s authoritarian procedures. She is targeted because of her capacity to resist authority, even under pressure. …

…The victim is stigmatized once the process of harassment gets going. They say she’s impossible to work with, has a terrible disposition, or even that she’s crazy. (This is what M B has been trying to do all along. Telling me I don’t know what I am talking about and calling me paranoid. Last Saturday when I stopped by. I also told him you are trying to make me look crazy, but I am not crazy and then he says: I never said you are crazy and then I said: you call me paranoid all the time and then he screams at me: DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THE WORD PARONOID MEANS?) They attribute to her character the consequences of the conflict, forgetting what she was before or what she is now in another context. Pushed to the limit, she often becomes what the employer wants her to become. (Because I can see clearly what they are doing, they have not been able to push me to the limit and have not lost it. I have been keeping my cool like I said in my blog post Rise Above the Sociopaths' Bullshit: Remember! Rise above the sociopaths' bullshit, because reacting to their lies and bullshit, it's what they want and is what gives them power.
ISOLATION
Once the decision has been made to psychological destroy an employee, in order to forestall any possible defense, the person must be isolated by breaking up potential alliances. It’s much more difficult to rebel if you’re alone, especially if you’ve been made to believe that everyone is against you. (This is exactly what is going on and they tell me I can’t talk to anyone because all abusers want their victims isolated. And in our last meeting S's HR try to tell me that a Resident and other gate attendant have complained about  me making threats against them, which is a complete lie, because I never threaten anyone, the next day I was afraid to talk to anyone, because I was not sure who I can trust anymore! This is exactly what they want to make me think that everyone is out to get me and that’s why MB keeps calling me paranoid!!!)

Thank you for listen,

Sylvie

Also, read Experienced Knowledge






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