Malignant narcissists are so jealous of you. They may tell you that you are inadequate and below them, but trust me, they are consumed with jealousy. Do you know why? Because as hard as they try to mimic your qualities, they cannot become like you. Their jealousy is of your empathy and your soul.The longer you stay, the more dangerous it becomes, because this jealousy consumes them.
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2015/02/driven-by-jealousy-to-hurt-others.html?m=1
"By reading the Drama I wrote 30 years ago many people found their own feelings until then dissociated, which opened them access to their tragic histories. The countless letters I received later informed me about the huge territory of suffering in childhood that almost all of us have endured and almost all of us keep DENYING over their whole lives by paying for this denial with their health. Or by letting others, mostly their own children, to pay.
Hence over the 30 years, I came to understand that to heal the wounds stemming from child abuse we must give up this denial by overcoming the fear of being punished again and take the risk of feeling not only the grief but also and above all the RAGE about the way we were treated in childhood. This insight allowed me to develop a therapy concept that works.
I don’t use the word “spirituality” because it doesn’t have any specific meaning to me, it is often used to name very different issues that can be defined more precisely without using this word. I don’t need to believe as Einstein did that the WORLD is perfect but I do make the discovery again and again that our bodies function in a marvelous way as soon as we stop to lie and to betray ourselves, as soon as we are ready to accept our truth." Alice Miller
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2017/11/spirituality-blinder-that-hides-truth.html
Dear Sylvie,
I thought of writing to you often, too... But I was/am sooo occupied with my own deep emotional struggles and outside obligations, that I didn`t find the space to write...
I am deeply confronted with my upbringing, as I take care of my mother in a greater amount a couple days a week.. I reduced working hours at my job because I couldn`t stand so many hours of being in charge, whether at my job or with my mother.
I had a spontaneous yes-set after reading your first posting that you won`t continue to post videos... I think I wrote this earlier, that I see that chances but also the risks of sharing on the internet, because there is so much manipulation, which can be done by the big tech companies, and it is not controllable, what happens with the content one's posts... I don`t know, how to write this properly...
I am sorry to hear, that you have this situation with S... the tendency to make new (old) disrespectful laws in many issues can be seen all over the world. and I don`t see a way, to change this directly... as we know, only the change of each of us can make a change in politics and how we deal with each other. But there are very rare people who understand this.
I think you did what you can, to bring your wisdom to the world. And you really deserve to be ok in "the little corner of the world" and have a life, as comfy as possible. Of course, it is painful to see, what happens everywhere, but everybody is responsible for oneself, right?
This is my short answer. Which I wanted to write for the moment. I have to pack my things and go to my mother’s house.
I will write again.
Take care and have a nice Sunday. H
The two reviews below on Amazon about Martin Miller's book, are most likely the only authentic reviews, all the other five-star reviews were written, most likely, by the cult leaders Barabara Rogers, Daniel Mackler, and their followers. Barbara Rogers is the very first five-star review! What joke!
Reviewed in the United States on June 2, 2020
This may be the most peevish, callous, and unsympathetic biography of a Holocaust survivor ever written. Mr. Miller is clearly angry at his mother, and surely he has a right to be if, as he alleges, she was emotionally unavailable to him in his youth. But in recounting his mother's near-death and the destruction of her entire family during the Holocaust, he makes far more references to his own feelings than to hers.
He uses words like "shocked", "stunned" and "amazed", but always in reference to his own reaction to the inevitable omissions and inconsistencies in her story. The death of his grandparents in the ovens does not stun him. The possibility of his mother having been raped by kidnappers at one point does not stun him. But the fact that she chose not mention all this in a blurb on her website in 2010? Stunning, he reports.
Clearly, Ms. Miller is an important figure in psychology, and it is understandable for readers to want to know the background that inspired her work.
But while Mr. Miller is clearly well-placed to reveal that information, the job ought to fall to someone who possesses some iota of empathy and doesn't "identify with abusers", as Mr. Miller openly confesses to doing in his work as a psychologist.
Put more simply, any time you find yourself nitpicking how someone survived the Holocaust, even your own mother, you probably ought to be ashamed of yourself."
Piggybacking on his mother's fame, yet bringing her down. Pathetic!!
Reviewed in the United States on September 8, 2020
First of all, the fact that this "writer" was able to write a book using all her mother's techniques, indicates very clearly that said techniques actually work.
I am really sorry to hear that this guy had such a difficult life with a traumatized mother who seemed to have lacked the ability to implement her theories with her own son. [Alice Miller could not have implemented her techniques with her own son -- because she developed her techniques later in life -- when her son was already an adult in his thirties. Once we reach adulthood we are responsible for our own healing and Alice Miller with her books gives us the enlightened information to guide us through our own healing] That makes her a flawed and fallible human being, but that doesn't take away the merits of her brilliant writings.
Whatever this guy went through in his own childhood, I am really sorry to hear. But what he is choosing to do with his own pain is a coward and self-serving strategy to make a name for himself by trashing his mother, because he knows very well he doesn't even have 1% of the talent, the courage, the insight, the brilliance that Alice Miller had, both as a healer (since she didn’t like to be called a psychoanalyst) and as a writer.
To me, it’s very obvious that he is shamelessly piggybacking on his mother's success and brilliance to make a buck and a name for himself.
The only way he could attract any attention to himself was by saying "I'm Alice Miller's son". Otherwise, nobody would have stopped to read anything he wrote. That must be a hard pill to swallow for him, yet he'll have to swallow it for the rest of his life.
This "Martin the Martyr" guy may have been an innocent child once upon a time, but as an adult, in my opinion, he is an untalented, self-serving, and coward. He didn't even have the decency to preface his book by saying: "I acknowledge that my mother has helped millions of readers (myself included) overcome the tragic effects of trauma and of being raised by narcissistic parents. I also acknowledge that she was a brilliant writer. However, she, herself, didn't have the time or the awareness to implement her own techniques when she was raising me, so she caused me much pain. This is the story of my pain."
Instead, he chose to put his mother down (that, I respect), without taking the time to acknowledge the unquestionable, undeniable, impressive merits of the writer he's attempting to put down (that, I do not respect). Whatever he wants to say about Alice Miller, the mother is his prerogative. But how come he doesn’t have the objectivity to preface all his comments by acknowledging the merits of the writer he’s criticizing, i.e. his mother?? Furthermore, how come he cannot at least acknowledge that the mother he is so disappointed with is the same writer whose tools, techniques, and theories he’s using to heal his own pain??
Had he had any objectivity, decency, courage, humility, and more importantly, talent, he would have extensively mentioned, not only the greatness of his mother’s talent but also the smallness of his own.
If you are the son of Shakespeare, and you tell me that Shakespeare was a jerk, and all you do is badmouth Shakespeare, and try to sell books doing that (without acknowledging the brilliance of Shakespeare’s talent) then I can only entertain two theories:
1) That you are very hurt about what your father did to you. If this is the case, then, that means you are too emotionally wounded about the whole thing. It also means you haven't done the necessary emotional work to recover from your own traumas, either because A) You haven't been able to, B) Because you lack the courage to do so or C) Because you're in a hurry to try to extract a benefit from your father's fame and brilliance.
What a coincidence that this guy published this book after his mother died. He didn't have the courage to publish it while she was alive. Perhaps he first wanted to make sure he could get his hands on his mother's will before trashing her, thereby trying to capitalize on both his mother’s brilliance and success and his cowardly attacks of her. There's always method in mediocrity.
To me, it is very obvious that, apart from his legitimate trauma, the bottom line is that this is the drama of the son of a Genius who, when confronted with the fact that he doesn't even have 1% of his mother's talent, he felt the sting of envy, and instead of just processing his envy, he decided to attack the genius with whom he will never be able to compete.
For a person who claims to have such a deep knowledge about the complexities of people's psyches, I think he missed that small detail about his own conflicted inner world.
I understand that this guy was emotionally injured, but what he decided to do with his pain lacked objectivity, contribution, insight, and talent. He may have had a really bad mother (most of Alice Miller’s readers had the same experience), but he also happened to be the son of one of the greatest writers and healers of the 20th century. He forgot to mention that.
The facts still remain: Alice Miller was a brilliant writer. Her son is a mediocre writer at best. The other fact is that Martin has made no original contributions to the field of psychoanalysis. I doubt that he ever will.
If you want to read a valuable, insightful book, pick up one of Alice Miller's books and enjoy the brilliance of her talented and courageous mind and heart!!"
"you will never forget a person who came to you with a torch in the dark!"
Amazon deleted some of my book reviews because their algorithms thought they were made by friends from Facebook that I never met in real life, but most five stars reviews made on Martin Miller's book are authentic, Not! I'm so tired of the bias in this world.
"you will never forget a person who came to you with a torch in the dark!"
Read my blog Martin Miller the Son of Alice Miller Is a Double-Edged Sword
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2022/08/martin-miller-son-of-alice-miller-is.html
There are two kinds of people, those that think: I don't want others to suffer as I did. And those that think: I suffered and I want others to suffer too.
If someone is telling a lie consciously or unconsciously it’s abusive. A lie is always abusive because it confuses people. Lies are confusing! Not to me anymore, because I can recognize a lie from a distance even if is hidden behind, pretty, and coated with a little bit of truth.
Social media posts warn people not to call 988. Here's what you need to know
"One Instagram post said, "988 is not friendly. Don't call it, don't post it, don't share it, without knowing the risks." The post, which had garnered nearly a quarter of a million likes as of early August, went on to list the risks as police involvement, involuntary treatment at emergency rooms or psychiatric hospitals, and the emotional and financial toll of those experiences.
Other posts on Instagram and Twitter conveyed similar concerns, saying that the hotline sends law enforcement officers to check on people at risk of suicide without their consent and that people, especially from LGBTQ+ communities and communities of color, may be forced into treatment. " Read more HERE
The system is taking advantage of people's vulnerability and using the suicide hotline to rein them in into the system. Once the system has its hands on you, you are nothing more than a subject to study and play with.
Just like I wrote in my blog post I Will no Longer Be on Social Media "remember the system doesn't want you to be free -- the system wants to keep you in an emotional prison and treat you with medications and manipulative therapies to keep you subdued, obedient and well behaved without a chance of breaking free from your emotional prison --- your freedom is the last thing the system wants --- It's a game they are playing, a cat and mouse game, a very dirty game they play to keep their own fears at bay of having to face and feel their own tragic repressed childhoods."
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2022/08/i-will-no-longer-be-on-social-media.html
I feel for the people who might not be able to find the strength and courage to stand alone on their own two feet and need to lean on the system for help, because once the system has the reins on you, it will be tough to find true freedom.
Today, some best-selling books about child rearing pretend to be updated and to have integrated the new psychological knowledge, but they often look to provide parents with the same ways they themselves were brought up.
They give advice on how to control, reign, manipulate and humiliate children in the most effective and undetectable way.
Unfortunately, the readers often oversee
the poison in this pedagogy because as children
they were never allowed to see and
name it.
If we are not looking for power, our
children do want to cooperate with
us, they are interested
in cooperation as a way of communication. But for doing that, they need to trust us. We are by no
means trustworthy, if we want to
govern them, just to
escape our helplessness.
http://www.alice-miller.com/en/letter-to-college-students-of-all-nations/
Hi P.,
Thank you for writing. Yes, I think we can be friends for sure. I always respected children and I knew the responsibility of bringing children into this world and that is why I never had children, because I felt I was not in a position to have children.
I always knew the reason everyone was sooo fxcked up was because of the way their parents treated them when they were very little, but I could not quite articulate it and I was alone until I read Alice Miller’s books and finally I gained the courage to face up and feel my own history and speak up.
Am amazed that I with 6-grade education that dropped out of school in the 7 grade can see this soooo clearly and all the so-called “educated” smart people in the world cannot understand and cowardly hide behind their "degrees" so they don’t have to face up and feel their own sad truth and go around spreading their psychological virus under the disguise of help, very sad.
Yes, I am an animal lover, animals were really my first love and if we really want to help animals in the long run it’s a must we become a strong children's rights advocate.
We cannot be for animals rights advocate without being for children’s rights advocate also, which most people trying to help animals seem not to care about children and unconsciously and compulsively are just using the animals to escape from facing and feeling their own sad truth and everything they do is just a temporary and superficial fix to make themselves feel better.
You said you are originally from Germany, how did you end up in Spain? Have you read Alice Miller’s books? If you did I assume you read them in the original language of German.
I read, of course, the English translation and sometimes I wonder if anything got lost in translation.
I find that when I read the only two books of Alice Miller translated into Portuguese a lot of the message got lost in translation and I prefer to read in English, it seems the message comes more clearly in the English language.
I find the Portuguese language very complex and abstract that uses a lot of words and one gets lost in it. Maybe this is one more reason why the Portuguese are so complex and clueless. I am looking forward to hearing more about yourself. Take care. sylvie
I have no doubt that Alice Miller's son Martin Miller was the trigger for all of Alice Miller's books. And if he had not been born we would not have had Alice Miller's enlightened books to help us liberate ourselves from the emotional prison of our own childhoods. And I would probably be dead NOW or still living in an emotional prison. He is just like a double-edged sword.
Martin Miller's book is nothing but smoke and mirrors. So sad to witness that Martin Miller joined forces with all those that betrayed his Mother, while she was still alive, trying to stand on Alice Miller's head to make a name for themselves. And didn't reach out to anyone that is standing by the side of his mother.
All they accuse Alice Miller of, that's exactly what they themselves are doing. They don't take responsibility for their own unresolved childhood repression and have mastered the art of projection and transference to perfection.
Throughout Alice Miller's books, she gives windows into the struggles she had with her adult son and how she tried to help him, but once children reach adulthood it's too late -- and no one can help adults children, not even their own mothers. Once we reach adulthood we are responsible for our own healing and Alice Miller with her books gives us the enlightened information to guide us through our own healing.
"As a child, I had to learn to suppress my entirely natural responses to the injuries inflicted on me, responses like rage, anger, pain, and fear. Otherwise, I would have been punished. Later, at school, I was proud of the skill I had developed in controlling and restraining these feelings. I considered this ability a virtue, and I also expected my first child to achieve the same kind of discipline. Only after I succeeded in freeing myself of this attitude was I able to understand the suffering of children who have been forbidden to respond to injuries in an appropriate way and to engage with their emotions in a benevolent environment, so that in later life they can take their bearings from the feelings they actually have, rather than fearing them." Alice Miller
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2022/07/drugs-and-deception-of-body.html
And yet I still feel a need to share with others things that came to me only late in life. The result does not claim to be literature, we are not dealing here with “art for art.” For my stories are actually based on simple, conscious intentions to inform people and encourage them to think. For me, as for many women, it was very painful to realize that as a young mother I had missed so much, not only for my child but also for myself, simply because I did not know enough. It hurts to see how with more information many things could have turned out better and that much cannot be made good again. My stories arose from the wish to spare other people what I have suffered myself.” Alice Miller ~ Paths of Life, preface
It’s her problem if she is still a lost little girl and loses herself in admiration over others, she is another malignant narcissist that has memorized good knowledge hijacked from Alice Miller's books, but has not experienced it at a personal level and now is trying to cast herself in the role of parent figure over others and misuses this good knowledge to manipulate and use others as poison containers to distract herself, so she does not have to face and feel the repressed excruciating emotions of the child she once was; reenacting her childhood drama all over again with the people she is trying to help, but now she playing the role of her mother and the people she is trying to help, playing the role of the child she and they once were and they all remain lost in a maze with no way out, staying prisoners of childhood for eternity.
https://sylvieshene.blogspot.com/2012/08/daniel-mackler-and-barbara-rogers-came.html
Reviewed in the United
States on June 2, 2020
This may be the most peevish, callous, and unsympathetic biography of a Holocaust survivor ever written. Mr. Miller is clearly angry at his mother, and surely he has a right to be if, as he alleges, she was emotionally unavailable to him in his youth. But in recounting his mother's near-death and the destruction of her entire family during the Holocaust, he makes far more references to his own feelings than to hers.
He uses words like "shocked",
"stunned" and "amazed", but always in reference to his own
reaction to the inevitable omissions and inconsistencies in her story. The
death of his grandparents in the ovens does not stun him. The possibility of
his mother having been raped by kidnappers at one point does not stun him. But
the fact that she chose not mention all this in a blurb on her website in 2010?
Stunning, he reports.
Clearly, Ms. Miller is an important figure in psychology, and it is
understandable for readers to want to know the background that inspired her
work.
But while Mr. Miller is clearly well-placed to
reveal that information, the job ought to fall to someone who possesses some
iota of empathy and doesn't "identify with abusers", as Mr. Miller
openly confesses to doing in his work as a psychologist.
Put more simply, any time you find yourself nitpicking how someone survived the
Holocaust, even your own mother, you probably ought to be ashamed of yourself."
Piggybacking on his mother's fame, yet bringing her down.
Pathetic!!
Reviewed in the United States on September 8, 2020
First of all, the fact that this "writer" was able
to write a book using all her mother's techniques, indicates very clearly that
said techniques actually work.
I am really sorry to hear that this guy had such a difficult
life with a traumatized mother who seemed to have lacked the ability to
implement her theories with her own son. [Alice Miller could not have implemented
her techniques with her own son -- because she developed her techniques later in
life -- when her son was already an adult in his thirties. Once we reach adulthood
we are responsible for our own healing and Alice Miller with her books gives us the enlightened information to guide us through our own healing] That makes her a
flawed and fallible human being, but that doesn't take away the merits of her
brilliant writings.
Whatever this guy went through in his own childhood, I am
really sorry to hear. But what he is choosing to do with his own pain is a
coward and self-serving strategy to make a name for himself by trashing his
mother, because he knows very well he doesn't even have 1% of the talent, the
courage, the insight, the brilliance that Alice Miller had, both as a healer
(since she didn’t like to be called a psychoanalyst) and as a writer.
To me, it’s very obvious that he is shamelessly piggybacking
on his mother's success and brilliance to make a buck and a name for himself.
The only way he could attract any attention to himself was
by saying "I'm Alice Miller's son". Otherwise, nobody would have
stopped to read anything he wrote. That must be a hard pill to swallow for him,
yet he'll have to swallow it for the rest of his life.
This "Martin the Martyr" guy may have been an
innocent child once upon a time, but as an adult, in my opinion, he is an
untalented, self-serving, and coward. He didn't even have the decency to
preface his book by saying: "I acknowledge that my mother has helped
millions of readers (myself included) overcome the tragic effects of trauma and
of being raised by narcissistic parents. I also acknowledge that she was a
brilliant writer. However, she, herself, didn't have the time or the awareness
to implement her own techniques when she was raising me, so she caused me much
pain. This is the story of my pain."
Instead, he chose to put his mother down (that, I respect),
without taking the time to acknowledge the unquestionable, undeniable,
impressive merits of the writer he's attempting to put down (that, I do not
respect). Whatever he wants to say about Alice Miller, the mother is his
prerogative. But how come he doesn’t have the objectivity to preface all his
comments by acknowledging the merits of the writer he’s criticizing, i.e. his
mother?? Furthermore, how come he cannot at least acknowledge that the mother
he is so disappointed with is the same writer whose tools, techniques, and
theories he’s using to heal his own pain??
Had he had any objectivity, decency, courage, humility, and
more importantly, talent, he would have extensively mentioned, not only the
greatness of his mother’s talent but also the smallness of his own.
If you are the son of Shakespeare, and you tell me that
Shakespeare was a jerk, and all you do is badmouth Shakespeare, and try to sell
books doing that (without acknowledging the brilliance of Shakespeare’s talent)
then I can only entertain two theories:
1) That you are very hurt about what your father did to you.
If this is the case, then, that means you are too emotionally wounded about the
whole thing. It also means you haven't done the necessary emotional work to
recover from your own traumas, either because A) You haven't been able to, B)
Because you lack the courage to do so or C) Because you're in a hurry to try to
extract a benefit from your father's fame and brilliance.
What a coincidence that this guy published this book after
his mother died. He didn't have the courage to publish it while she was alive.
Perhaps he first wanted to make sure he could get his hands on his mother's
will before trashing her, thereby trying to capitalize on both his mother’s
brilliance and success and his cowardly attacks of her. There's always method
in mediocrity.
To me, it is very obvious that, apart from his legitimate
trauma, the bottom line is that this is the drama of the son of a Genius who,
when confronted with the fact that he doesn't even have 1% of his mother's
talent, he felt the sting of envy, and instead of just processing his envy, he
decided to attack the genius with whom he will never be able to compete.
For a person who claims to have such a deep knowledge about
the complexities of people's psyches, I think he missed that small detail about
his own conflicted inner world.
I understand that this guy was emotionally injured, but what
he decided to do with his pain lacked objectivity, contribution, insight, and
talent. He may have had a really bad mother (most of Alice Miller’s readers had
the same experience), but he also happened to be the son of one of the greatest
writers and healers of the 20th century. He forgot to mention that.
The facts still remain: Alice Miller was a brilliant
writer. Her son is a mediocre writer at best. The other fact is that Martin has
made no original contributions to the field of psychoanalysis. I doubt that he
ever will.
If you want to read a valuable, insightful book, pick up one
of Alice Miller's books and enjoy the brilliance of her talented and courageous
mind and heart!!"
"you will never forget a person who came to you with a torch in the dark!"
Amazon deleted some of my book reviews because their algorithms thought they were made by friends from Facebook that I never met in real life, but most five stars reviews made on Martin Miller's book are authentic, Not! I'm so tired of the bias in this world.
